more than words
more than words
yoochun/changmin
light R
a/n. au, for yuchun and kallistei ♥ [also written for dbsk_flashfic, challenge 21: something gorgeous]
Changmin begins to lose his sight when he's eight years old, and becomes fully blind at the age of ten. He grows up to the kimchi is at two o'clock and your chopsticks are at ten o'clock and music to save his soul. Being blind, it's not so bad when you've got someone to hang onto, or when you've got the sounds of the world at your doorstep. Changmin never takes anything for granted and studies hard at learning Braille, and by the time he's nineteen, he's living on his own and going to school like any other person would. He may not be able to see the world, but the world can see him. And that's enough for Changmin.
One day, Changmin's cane happens across someone's ankle as he's walking to his first class of the day. "Oh, I'm sorry," Changmin says, smiling sheepishly. "My cane has a mind of its own, sometimes."
The voice that replies with "No, you're fine, honestly - I'm just a nervous wreck, since this is my first day and I'm kind of lost," is husky and smooth, only broken by the hitch of nervousness that confirms truth to the words uttered. What surprises Changmin more than anything is the lack of pity and politeness he's accustomed to hearing when someone realizes he's blind. It intrigues him.
"Where are you headed? I'm early for my first class, so I can show you where you need to go," Changmin offers.
There's a slight pause, and Changmin wonders if maybe he was wrong about this person, after all. "Sure," the voice says, and relief is the only thing Changmin hears. "That'd actually be really nice, yeah. I'm Yoochun, by the way."
Changmin runs into Yoochun later that day. As it turns out, they're both fond of coffee, and Yoochun helps him when his books slide from his hand as he's sitting down. Yoochun promises he'll return when he gets his coffee, and Changmin marvels at how his heart skips a beat. He's never been the romantic type, never wondered if he preferred women or men, because he never thought he'd ever find love. You have to seek out love, and Changmin's always been too busy seeking life.
Yoochun talks to Changmin like he's normal, like he's just another person. Yoochun talks about life and music and how he wants to write for all the big-time singers someday. And all the while, Changmin memorizes the tones and melodies of Yoochun's voice, the scent of his cologne, the way the air ripples when Yoochun's hands emphasize what he's saying.
"So, what happened?" Yoochun asks, and Changmin's been wondering when this would come up. "Your eyes are normal, so I'm assuming it wasn't an accident of some sort?"
Changmin smiles and nods. "Started when I was eight, and by the time I was ten, it was gone." Changmin can't help the shrug that follows, too used to others and the sad way they looked at him. He may not have been able to see them, but he could feel. "I suppose had I been older, it would have affected me more, but when you're young like that, you don't really remember what you're missing."
Yoochun's silent for a long while, then the air ripples again, not as emphatically as gestures. "Well, I can assure you now, you're not missing out on much," Yoochun says, the smile loud and his words close. He's leaning forward.
"Yeah?" Changmin says, reaching forward hesitantly with his fingers. "Do you mind?"
"No," Yoochun says, and then there's warm skin beneath Changmin's fingertips. "That's my cheek."
"I know," Changmin says, smiling. "I can feel your cheekbone," Changmin presses down lightly, "There." He moves his fingers cautiously, across the smooth line of bone and up. Yoochun's eyes close under Changmin's fingers, and Changmin traces the curve of them, Yoochun's brow. He moves down the slope of Yoochun's nose, laughing lightly at the roundness of it. Yoochun's lips are smiling beneath his fingertips when he reaches them, and Changmin can tell they're full even through the stretch. "You've got beautiful lips," Changmin murmurs, then blushes as he realizes what he's just said.
Yoochun doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to, not with the way his lips shift under Changmin's fingers. Changmin's never been kissed, but he knows what he's feeling. Life, Changmin thinks, can wait a while. He's seeking love.
Their relationship in Changmin's mind is some kind of whirlwind romance, but in light of how Yoochun's personality is revealed to him piece by piece, Changmin thinks this is oddly fitting. Yoochun is the epitome of it: velvety-smooth and awkward all at once, smokes half a pack a day and swears he's trying to quit. His laugh reminds Changmin of sunshine, warm and trickling down his spine to spread goosebumps all over, making Changmin laugh, too.
Yoochun's always touching: a hand on Changmin's back, or his shoulder brushing against Changmin's as they walk. When Yoochun comes over to study, they almost always end up holding each other on the sofa, Changmin's head on Yoochun's chest and Yoochun's head tipped against Changmin's. Changmin likes these moments best, the way Yoochun fits against him like a glove, the way Yoochun's waist feels wrapped up in his arms.
Yet for all the romancing and holding, there's been no kissing. Changmin can't help but wonder if maybe Yoochun's not attracted to him, physically. Before, Changmin never really gave thought to how he looked to everyone else, simply because he never knew what he looked like, himself. He can feel how his face has sharpened and grown through the years, how his legs have taken over most of his body size, but feeling is something entirely different then piecing it all together to form an image. Feelings tend to muddle everything together and images are blurry memories in Changmin's mind, anyway.
"Do you find me attractive?" Changmin finds the courage to ask Yoochun one day, listening to the scribble of pencil against paper.
Yoochun's shoulder brushes Changmin's leg and there's a rustle before Yoochun's body aligns with his. "You're beautiful," Yoochun murmurs, his breath a warm puff against Changmin's ear and his arms snug around Changmin's waist. "When you smile, and I mean really smile, your eyes are mismatched. I think it's the cutest thing I've ever seen." Changmin blushes. He's never known that about himself. "And when you're thinking really hard, you do this thing with your mouth," Yoochun continues, and then there are fingertips light against his lips, "It's kind of like a pout, but it's really sexy. Don't know how many times I've wanted to kiss it away."
"Why haven't you?" Changmin can't resist asking, and wonders if he's imagining the note of longing in his voice - kind of hopes he's imagining it.
Yoochun laughs softly, cupping Changmin's cheek with the barest amount of pressure. Changmin turns his head obligingly, and Yoochun tips his forehead against Changmin's. "Is that what this is about?" Yoochun asks, voice lilted with fondness. "You want me to kiss you?"
"Yes," Changmin breathes, fingers tight in Yoochun's shirt, and chuckles to shake off the nervousness. "Do you want me to pout, first?"
Yoochun's smiling as his lips brush over Changmin's, warm and slightly chapped. Changmin can smell coffee and mint and ash as Yoochun breathes, and when Yoochun tips Changmin's head back to kiss him properly, Changmin can taste it. Changmin's eyes flutter shut instinctively and his fingers tighten as he kisses back tentatively at first, then with more fervor as Yoochun makes a soft sound that vibrates through Changmin's skin and sends his heart skipping. Kissing Yoochun is wet and exhilarating, catching Changmin's breath and giving it back only to repeat the cycle all over again.
When it ends, Changmin can feel the way Yoochun's watching him, dark and curling Changmin's toes. "Changminah," Yoochun says, and his voice confirms it with how it's rougher than usual, throaty and deep.
"Please," Changmin says. He doesn't need to read anything to know why Yoochun's heart is beating triple-time beneath his palm, and he certainly doesn't need to think this through. "Stay the night."
Yoochun nods against Changmin's temple and kisses it before he pulls away, hands lingering to pull Changmin up. "I'll stay forever, if you want me to," Yoochun whispers, hands burning as they slide down Changmin's back.
Changmin shivers and laughs, pressing his face into Yoochun's neck. "You're hopeless," he murmurs fondly, kissing his way up to where his fingers are lingering on Yoochun's lips. "Now show me what these lips can do."
Changmin can honestly say he's never felt anything quite like this. Touching himself has always been pleasurable but that's nothing in comparison to the way Yoochun draws sensations across Changmin's body with his lips and tongue. Each swirl, each edge of teeth sets Changmin afire, has him trembling and writhing beneath Yoochun with need, with love.
Changmin's never wanted his sight back, has always been content with what happened, but now more than ever he wishes desperately that he can see what Yoochun looks like - watch the way Yoochun kisses Changmin's skin, see his lips move with every sound he makes, his face shift with pleasure to go along with them when Changmin touches back. Yoochun must sense the tinge of frustration in his cries, because he's there in an instant, kissing Changmin's lips and cheek between whispers of love and light, fleeting, comforting touches. There's no pity, still, and Changmin can't answer Yoochun when Yoochun asks if anything's wrong. "Just keep holding me," Changmin breathes, sliding his hands down to cup Yoochun's ass and push their hips together. "Fuck me, Yoochunah."
Changmin can feel the tenseness still lingering in Yoochun's body even as he obliges Changmin, kissing him to ease the discomfort of being stretched for the first time. To Changmin's relief, he doesn't say anything, and Changmin can bury his frustration to take in the way everything feels, the pain, the way Yoochun kisses him like he's afraid of something. Changmin holds Yoochun even tighter for that, reassurance of his own.
The burn is nothing compared to the inferno already licking at Changmin's skin from the inside, and after two, then three fingers Changmin's writhing again, pleading. Yoochun slides and fits himself against Changmin perfectly, then pieces them together thrust by thrust. Changmin's hand cups Yoochun's face and feels it shift, re-arranging itself into love and lust. It's a hazy picture in Changmin's mind, but feelings, they're unraveling at the seams just like Changmin's control.
Yoochun repeats i love yous against Changmin's lips and cheek and neck, a mantra. Or a song he's not written yet, perhaps, and Changmin can only lose himself in the silence of it.
Changmin wakes to the sleepy warmth of Yoochun curled up against his back, his arms loose around Changmin's waist. Changmin's never cried once since he found out he was going blind, but in the defenselessness of transitioning from sleeping to waking, Changmin's guards fall. The frustration from last night releases like a dam and Changmin's swept away, shaking despite the want not to.
Yoochun stirs, slow and languid, a rough, "Changminah, what is it?" and a kiss pressed to the nape of Changmin's neck.
"'S nothing," Changmin replies, hating how his voice tremors, and shakes his head. "Go back to sleep."
"Liar," Yoochun says, voice sharp with wakefulness. "Is this about last night? I know you were lying then, too." Yoochun tightens his hold on Changmin and turns him over, pulling him close. "Talk to me, Changminah. I don't like to see you cry." Yoochun's fingertips wipe away the tears tracking Changmin's cheeks, gentle sweeps that make Changmin's heart ache.
"I never cried before," Changmin says with a shuddering sigh. "Never, not even when I was eight and I woke up to find everything blurrier than it was the day before, and not when the doctors told me I would lose my sight completely one day. Even when I woke up one day and all I saw was darkness, I still didn't cry." Yoochun remains silent, listening perhaps, thumb stroking softly at Changmin's jaw and cheek. "But then you come along, and... God, Yoochun. You've broken me. I used to think I could live like this, seeing nothing, and now I just want to see you smile and watch your lips when you talk to me. I want to see you tell me you love me and-" Changmin's voice catches again, and he gives up on talking completely, figuring he's gotten his point across.
"I wish I could show you these things," Yoochun finally says, soft and so heartfelt it almost breaks Changmin's heart. "I wish you could see what you do to me, Changminah, more than anything." Yoochun's mouth is a ghost of a kiss across Changmin's forehead. "But you can't see love. Love is felt." Yoochun takes Changmin's hand and places it over his heart, pressing down. Changmin feels it skip beneath his palm. "You can still feel it, Changmin."
Changmin nods and lets Yoochun kiss him softly, lets the kiss deepen, lets Yoochun show him how to feel all over again.
("Do you want me to show you the world, Changminah?" Yoochun asks. "I'll take you to Paris or Italy - anywhere you want to go."
"Show me the world, huh?" Changmin whispers, tracing Yoochun's lips as he smiles. "Think I already have the world, right here."
Yoochun laughs softly and kisses Changmin's fingers.)
yoochun/changmin
light R
a/n. au, for yuchun and kallistei ♥ [also written for dbsk_flashfic, challenge 21: something gorgeous]
Changmin begins to lose his sight when he's eight years old, and becomes fully blind at the age of ten. He grows up to the kimchi is at two o'clock and your chopsticks are at ten o'clock and music to save his soul. Being blind, it's not so bad when you've got someone to hang onto, or when you've got the sounds of the world at your doorstep. Changmin never takes anything for granted and studies hard at learning Braille, and by the time he's nineteen, he's living on his own and going to school like any other person would. He may not be able to see the world, but the world can see him. And that's enough for Changmin.
One day, Changmin's cane happens across someone's ankle as he's walking to his first class of the day. "Oh, I'm sorry," Changmin says, smiling sheepishly. "My cane has a mind of its own, sometimes."
The voice that replies with "No, you're fine, honestly - I'm just a nervous wreck, since this is my first day and I'm kind of lost," is husky and smooth, only broken by the hitch of nervousness that confirms truth to the words uttered. What surprises Changmin more than anything is the lack of pity and politeness he's accustomed to hearing when someone realizes he's blind. It intrigues him.
"Where are you headed? I'm early for my first class, so I can show you where you need to go," Changmin offers.
There's a slight pause, and Changmin wonders if maybe he was wrong about this person, after all. "Sure," the voice says, and relief is the only thing Changmin hears. "That'd actually be really nice, yeah. I'm Yoochun, by the way."
Changmin runs into Yoochun later that day. As it turns out, they're both fond of coffee, and Yoochun helps him when his books slide from his hand as he's sitting down. Yoochun promises he'll return when he gets his coffee, and Changmin marvels at how his heart skips a beat. He's never been the romantic type, never wondered if he preferred women or men, because he never thought he'd ever find love. You have to seek out love, and Changmin's always been too busy seeking life.
Yoochun talks to Changmin like he's normal, like he's just another person. Yoochun talks about life and music and how he wants to write for all the big-time singers someday. And all the while, Changmin memorizes the tones and melodies of Yoochun's voice, the scent of his cologne, the way the air ripples when Yoochun's hands emphasize what he's saying.
"So, what happened?" Yoochun asks, and Changmin's been wondering when this would come up. "Your eyes are normal, so I'm assuming it wasn't an accident of some sort?"
Changmin smiles and nods. "Started when I was eight, and by the time I was ten, it was gone." Changmin can't help the shrug that follows, too used to others and the sad way they looked at him. He may not have been able to see them, but he could feel. "I suppose had I been older, it would have affected me more, but when you're young like that, you don't really remember what you're missing."
Yoochun's silent for a long while, then the air ripples again, not as emphatically as gestures. "Well, I can assure you now, you're not missing out on much," Yoochun says, the smile loud and his words close. He's leaning forward.
"Yeah?" Changmin says, reaching forward hesitantly with his fingers. "Do you mind?"
"No," Yoochun says, and then there's warm skin beneath Changmin's fingertips. "That's my cheek."
"I know," Changmin says, smiling. "I can feel your cheekbone," Changmin presses down lightly, "There." He moves his fingers cautiously, across the smooth line of bone and up. Yoochun's eyes close under Changmin's fingers, and Changmin traces the curve of them, Yoochun's brow. He moves down the slope of Yoochun's nose, laughing lightly at the roundness of it. Yoochun's lips are smiling beneath his fingertips when he reaches them, and Changmin can tell they're full even through the stretch. "You've got beautiful lips," Changmin murmurs, then blushes as he realizes what he's just said.
Yoochun doesn't say anything. He doesn't have to, not with the way his lips shift under Changmin's fingers. Changmin's never been kissed, but he knows what he's feeling. Life, Changmin thinks, can wait a while. He's seeking love.
Their relationship in Changmin's mind is some kind of whirlwind romance, but in light of how Yoochun's personality is revealed to him piece by piece, Changmin thinks this is oddly fitting. Yoochun is the epitome of it: velvety-smooth and awkward all at once, smokes half a pack a day and swears he's trying to quit. His laugh reminds Changmin of sunshine, warm and trickling down his spine to spread goosebumps all over, making Changmin laugh, too.
Yoochun's always touching: a hand on Changmin's back, or his shoulder brushing against Changmin's as they walk. When Yoochun comes over to study, they almost always end up holding each other on the sofa, Changmin's head on Yoochun's chest and Yoochun's head tipped against Changmin's. Changmin likes these moments best, the way Yoochun fits against him like a glove, the way Yoochun's waist feels wrapped up in his arms.
Yet for all the romancing and holding, there's been no kissing. Changmin can't help but wonder if maybe Yoochun's not attracted to him, physically. Before, Changmin never really gave thought to how he looked to everyone else, simply because he never knew what he looked like, himself. He can feel how his face has sharpened and grown through the years, how his legs have taken over most of his body size, but feeling is something entirely different then piecing it all together to form an image. Feelings tend to muddle everything together and images are blurry memories in Changmin's mind, anyway.
"Do you find me attractive?" Changmin finds the courage to ask Yoochun one day, listening to the scribble of pencil against paper.
Yoochun's shoulder brushes Changmin's leg and there's a rustle before Yoochun's body aligns with his. "You're beautiful," Yoochun murmurs, his breath a warm puff against Changmin's ear and his arms snug around Changmin's waist. "When you smile, and I mean really smile, your eyes are mismatched. I think it's the cutest thing I've ever seen." Changmin blushes. He's never known that about himself. "And when you're thinking really hard, you do this thing with your mouth," Yoochun continues, and then there are fingertips light against his lips, "It's kind of like a pout, but it's really sexy. Don't know how many times I've wanted to kiss it away."
"Why haven't you?" Changmin can't resist asking, and wonders if he's imagining the note of longing in his voice - kind of hopes he's imagining it.
Yoochun laughs softly, cupping Changmin's cheek with the barest amount of pressure. Changmin turns his head obligingly, and Yoochun tips his forehead against Changmin's. "Is that what this is about?" Yoochun asks, voice lilted with fondness. "You want me to kiss you?"
"Yes," Changmin breathes, fingers tight in Yoochun's shirt, and chuckles to shake off the nervousness. "Do you want me to pout, first?"
Yoochun's smiling as his lips brush over Changmin's, warm and slightly chapped. Changmin can smell coffee and mint and ash as Yoochun breathes, and when Yoochun tips Changmin's head back to kiss him properly, Changmin can taste it. Changmin's eyes flutter shut instinctively and his fingers tighten as he kisses back tentatively at first, then with more fervor as Yoochun makes a soft sound that vibrates through Changmin's skin and sends his heart skipping. Kissing Yoochun is wet and exhilarating, catching Changmin's breath and giving it back only to repeat the cycle all over again.
When it ends, Changmin can feel the way Yoochun's watching him, dark and curling Changmin's toes. "Changminah," Yoochun says, and his voice confirms it with how it's rougher than usual, throaty and deep.
"Please," Changmin says. He doesn't need to read anything to know why Yoochun's heart is beating triple-time beneath his palm, and he certainly doesn't need to think this through. "Stay the night."
Yoochun nods against Changmin's temple and kisses it before he pulls away, hands lingering to pull Changmin up. "I'll stay forever, if you want me to," Yoochun whispers, hands burning as they slide down Changmin's back.
Changmin shivers and laughs, pressing his face into Yoochun's neck. "You're hopeless," he murmurs fondly, kissing his way up to where his fingers are lingering on Yoochun's lips. "Now show me what these lips can do."
Changmin can honestly say he's never felt anything quite like this. Touching himself has always been pleasurable but that's nothing in comparison to the way Yoochun draws sensations across Changmin's body with his lips and tongue. Each swirl, each edge of teeth sets Changmin afire, has him trembling and writhing beneath Yoochun with need, with love.
Changmin's never wanted his sight back, has always been content with what happened, but now more than ever he wishes desperately that he can see what Yoochun looks like - watch the way Yoochun kisses Changmin's skin, see his lips move with every sound he makes, his face shift with pleasure to go along with them when Changmin touches back. Yoochun must sense the tinge of frustration in his cries, because he's there in an instant, kissing Changmin's lips and cheek between whispers of love and light, fleeting, comforting touches. There's no pity, still, and Changmin can't answer Yoochun when Yoochun asks if anything's wrong. "Just keep holding me," Changmin breathes, sliding his hands down to cup Yoochun's ass and push their hips together. "Fuck me, Yoochunah."
Changmin can feel the tenseness still lingering in Yoochun's body even as he obliges Changmin, kissing him to ease the discomfort of being stretched for the first time. To Changmin's relief, he doesn't say anything, and Changmin can bury his frustration to take in the way everything feels, the pain, the way Yoochun kisses him like he's afraid of something. Changmin holds Yoochun even tighter for that, reassurance of his own.
The burn is nothing compared to the inferno already licking at Changmin's skin from the inside, and after two, then three fingers Changmin's writhing again, pleading. Yoochun slides and fits himself against Changmin perfectly, then pieces them together thrust by thrust. Changmin's hand cups Yoochun's face and feels it shift, re-arranging itself into love and lust. It's a hazy picture in Changmin's mind, but feelings, they're unraveling at the seams just like Changmin's control.
Yoochun repeats i love yous against Changmin's lips and cheek and neck, a mantra. Or a song he's not written yet, perhaps, and Changmin can only lose himself in the silence of it.
Changmin wakes to the sleepy warmth of Yoochun curled up against his back, his arms loose around Changmin's waist. Changmin's never cried once since he found out he was going blind, but in the defenselessness of transitioning from sleeping to waking, Changmin's guards fall. The frustration from last night releases like a dam and Changmin's swept away, shaking despite the want not to.
Yoochun stirs, slow and languid, a rough, "Changminah, what is it?" and a kiss pressed to the nape of Changmin's neck.
"'S nothing," Changmin replies, hating how his voice tremors, and shakes his head. "Go back to sleep."
"Liar," Yoochun says, voice sharp with wakefulness. "Is this about last night? I know you were lying then, too." Yoochun tightens his hold on Changmin and turns him over, pulling him close. "Talk to me, Changminah. I don't like to see you cry." Yoochun's fingertips wipe away the tears tracking Changmin's cheeks, gentle sweeps that make Changmin's heart ache.
"I never cried before," Changmin says with a shuddering sigh. "Never, not even when I was eight and I woke up to find everything blurrier than it was the day before, and not when the doctors told me I would lose my sight completely one day. Even when I woke up one day and all I saw was darkness, I still didn't cry." Yoochun remains silent, listening perhaps, thumb stroking softly at Changmin's jaw and cheek. "But then you come along, and... God, Yoochun. You've broken me. I used to think I could live like this, seeing nothing, and now I just want to see you smile and watch your lips when you talk to me. I want to see you tell me you love me and-" Changmin's voice catches again, and he gives up on talking completely, figuring he's gotten his point across.
"I wish I could show you these things," Yoochun finally says, soft and so heartfelt it almost breaks Changmin's heart. "I wish you could see what you do to me, Changminah, more than anything." Yoochun's mouth is a ghost of a kiss across Changmin's forehead. "But you can't see love. Love is felt." Yoochun takes Changmin's hand and places it over his heart, pressing down. Changmin feels it skip beneath his palm. "You can still feel it, Changmin."
Changmin nods and lets Yoochun kiss him softly, lets the kiss deepen, lets Yoochun show him how to feel all over again.
("Do you want me to show you the world, Changminah?" Yoochun asks. "I'll take you to Paris or Italy - anywhere you want to go."
"Show me the world, huh?" Changmin whispers, tracing Yoochun's lips as he smiles. "Think I already have the world, right here."
Yoochun laughs softly and kisses Changmin's fingers.)