looking for a spark
looking for a spark
hangeng/jaejoong
PG-13
for angelacaduca, who wanted more suju/dbsk fic, and for vibratory and dear_whimsy, as well, because they believed in the ~powah of hanjae ;D ♥ tbh, i'm not too sure about how this one turned out, on the whole, but here it is, anyway. @__@
you can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark
this gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark
dancing in the dark - bruce springsteen
There's a new trainee, as of 2:23 PM and maybe a few seconds in. Jaejoong's heard he's Chinese, dancer's figure and soft-spoken, with the singing voice to match. So far there's no talk on who he's rooming with, whose group is getting a new member, but Jaejoong's pretty confident it won't be his. They've got plenty of harmonization now and no more room in their dorm, as well.
That's not to say he's not curious, though, and Jaejoong can't help wondering as he practices his scales; as Yunho heaves another mildly annoyed sigh when he forgets a dance step (Heechul snickers in the background and Jaejoong throws his sweaty towel at him just to hear the indignant screech that follows); as he cleans up another table because the busboy is being lazy in the back (there's a tip on the table - they were Americans who spoke loud, obnoxious English - Jaejoong pockets it despite the guilt).
Jaejoong wonders if he's another insecurity.
--
Jaejoong's been having trouble sleeping lately, twisted images and his voice gone when he tries to scream. He's passing the third studio on the way to the nearest exit for a smoke when he catches a flurry of shadowed movement in the window, hears the strain of muffled music. Curious, Jaejoong opens the door and peeks inside, watches quiet and unseen as the dancer seems to fly across the studio, the sounds of soft, lilting traditional Chinese music filling the room. Jaejoong's envious instantly, watching this person move with a fluid grace he'll never have.
Jaejoong doesn't know how long he stands there, just staring, but eventually the music stops and so does the dancer. Jaejoong's pretty sure by now it's the new trainee, judging from the music, mostly, though part of it is how he danced; Jaejoong's never see that before. The dancer turns, as if sensing Jaejoong's eyes on him, and Jaejoong can see his blush even in the dim lighting of the studio. Jaejoong mumbles an apology that he's sure the trainee doesn't understand and backs away and down the hall again.
When he finally does get to sleep that night, he dreams of dancing in the dark, ashes and smoke.
--
Heechul knows this new trainee, took an immediate liking to him, from what Jaejoong can gather. It's odd for Heechul; they say Jaejoong is icy but Heechul has the crown. Jaejoong casually mentions the newcomer one day, slipping him easily into the conversation. Heechul's eyes narrow slightly and Jaejoong smiles sweetly. "What do you wanna know?" Heechul asks, fingering a french fry absently.
Jaejoong shrugs, not sure what, exactly, and says so. "Whatever you know, I guess."
Heechul pops the french fry into his mouth. He chews like he talks, loud and obscene, uncaring of what he says and who he hurts when he says it. "He's Chinese, doesn't know much Korean yet," he says once he's swallowed, following through with another fry. "Really cute and shy. I don't think he talks much either way, you know?" Jaejoong nods like he knows, even though he really doesn't. "When he does talk, it's really quiet, like he feels out of place or something." Heechul shrugs. "He can sing, though. And dance - he knows ballet, did you know? And when he smiles, I just want to pinch his cheeks." Heechul pinches at the air, perilously close to Jaejoong's own cheeks.
Jaejoong moves back instinctively and Heechul laughs. Jaejoong hums thoughtfully, having already known most of that. "So, what's his name?" he asks, nibbling at one of his own fries.
Heechul drops his hands, eyeing Jaejoong suspiciously. "Why do you want to know?"
Jaejoong shrugs again, same answer as before. "Just curious. Everyone's talking about him and it's not like you to take to someone so easily," he says, finishing off the fry.
Heechul sighs, a forlorn thing, and leans back in his chair. "I'm so abused, you know? But you're right," he says, grinning with a slight edge to the corners of the smile that could make it a smirk. Could, but Jaejoong knows better, by now. "His name's Hangeng or Hankyung. I think he prefers Hangeng though. Maybe it reminds him of home."
Jaejoong says the name silently, fitting the syllables to his tongue. "It's a nice name," he says absently.
Heechul's ignoring him in favor of his hamburger. Though he does say, between swallowing a bite of it and another french fry, "He sneaks into the third studio every night and dances," and then there's nothing more on the subject as Heechul suddenly remembers a prank he and Donghae pulled on Kangin earlier that he has to describe to Jaejoong in detail.
Jaejoong half-listens, remembering darkness and grace.
--
It's three nights later before Jaejoong's restless again, laying in bed and watching Yunho's chest rise and fall with every breath he takes. Donghae's snoring lightly beside Yunho, curled up into his side. Jaejoong smiles despite the minor annoyance, decides to go for a walk, maybe a smoke.
Somehow, a walk takes him back to the third studio, curious and maybe a little eager. Jaejoong doesn't hear any music though and cracks the door open a bit, peering inside. There's a faint shuffling sound;someone's in there. Jaejoong opens the door a little more and sticks his head completely inside, notices the vague shadow of someone in the back of the room. "Hello?" he calls out, slipping in and shutting the door. Jaejoong flips on the light and the room's illuminated, bright and making Jaejoong squint for a moment or two as his eyes make the adjustment.
Hangeng is there, like Jaejoong thought he'd be, watching Jaejoong with a shy smile on his face, shuffling. "Hi," he says.
Jaejoong smiles back, inching forward. "I'm Jaejoong, Heechul's friend? He told me about you."
Hangeng tilts his head, looking embarrassed. "I... sorry, I-- no? No understand?" he says, blushing. "Heechul. Heechul of friend?" Hangeng points at Jaejoong, brows lifted in question.
Jaejoong nods, hoping he's interpreting Hangeng right. He pats his chest. "Friend of Heechul, yes," he says, correcting and hoping Hangeng understands. He feels a little like a caveman as he points at himself again and says, "Jaejoong."
Hangeng smiles again, nodding. "Jaejoong," he says, then points at himself. "Hange-- Hankyung."
Jaejoong frowns, shaking his head and places a comforting hand on Hangeng's arm. "Hangeng," he says softly, smiling again.
Hangeng's smile widens into something beautiful.
--
"Do you dance?" Hangeng asks him, twirling his chopsticks absently. His Korean's not exceptional, but it's better, and between hand gestures and random guesses, Jaejoong can understand him most of the time.
Jaejoong shakes his head in answer, flushing. "It's one of my weak areas," he admits, shrugging it off. "I'm getting a little better, I think, but Yunho and Donghae still leave me in the dust most of the time."
"Oh," Hangeng says, then points his chopsticks at Jaejoong. "I will teach you. Tonight."
--
"You like him, don't you?"
Jaejoong looks at Heechul with a dry raise of his eyebrow, breathing in deep at the burn as Heechul pushes his leg a little more. He's half-tempted to tell Heechul to get off and just give up on stretching exercises altogether, but Yunho's giving him the eye. "'Course I do," he replies, only half-strained. "He's my friend."
Heechul snorts, dropping Jaejoong's leg unceremoniously. He pats at the other one and Jaejoong lifts it obligingly. "I think you know what I'm talking about, Jaejoong,"Heechul says, "and I'm not talking friendship. Unless, y'know, you think about fucking all your friends. In which case you need to find another stretch partner, you sicko." Heechul pulls a face and Jaejoong halfheartedly tries to smack at him. And fails horribly, which only makes Heechul laugh, loudly. "So. Am I right, or am I right?"
"Wrong," Jaejoong says, and hooks his leg around Heechul's shoulder, dragging him down. Heechul yelps and curses like the bravest sailor ever while Donghae and Kangin laugh across the room. Yunho's giving Jaejoong another look, though, so he reluctantly lets Heechul go.
"Except for the part where I'm right, so you better not hurt him in any way." Heechul's serious, now. "And you're going down for that later, asshole," Heechul says with a sniff that means the seriousness is gone, and wanders over to Yunho, where he proceeds to drape himself across Yunho's shoulders.
Jaejoong just glares at Heechul's back and gives up on stretching. He's got better things to do, like working on his triceps. And Yunho's not looking, anyway.
--
For the past few weeks since they met, Jaejoong's been coming to watch Hangeng practice at night. Hangeng constantly tells Jaejoong he doesn't have to, but Jaejoong's a willing participant. More often than not, Hangeng dances to a few songs for Jaejoong, flushing proud and happy, then they sit and talk for hours.
Tonight, as Hangeng promised, it's slightly different. Jaejoong's standing in the middle of the studio feeling like the village idiot who, on top of being stupid, has no sense of coordination between his two left feet whatsoever.Hangeng smiles in amusement, head cocked. "You stand weird," he says, walking over and lifting Jaejoong's arms. "Too tense. Relax."
Jaejoong sucks in a breath, nodding. "Okay."
Hangeng giggles. "Still tense. Here, I'll help." Hangeng wanders over to the CD player and turns it on, flooding the room's with a song Jaejoong's never heard before, something American, from the sounds of it. It's a nice song, old rock, probably. Jaejoong wonders how Hangeng knows it. "Dance, Jaejoong," Hangeng says, twirling perfectly around the room. "Just dance."
So Jaejoong does. Slowly, at first, not sure what to do, then Hangeng smiles widely and takes Jaejoong's hands, shaking them. "Loosen up," Hangeng says, and starts stepping from side to side, snapping a finger to the beat. "See?" Each step of Hangeng's feet land with the snap of his fingers, the beat of the song, and Jaejoong mimics it. "It's all in the song, Jaejoong."
Jaejoong nods, laughing as Hangeng twirls him out and back in. Hangeng sings along with the song, getting more and more creative with his dancing, more carefree. Jaejoong echoes it, feeling the happiness that seems to radiate from Hangeng feed into him.
They dance, and Jaejoong could care less what he looks like, can only see the crinkle of Hangeng's eyes, the curve of his smile, clearly understood in any language. And maybe that's what it's always been about.
--
"I'm done, Hangeng," Jaejoong says. "They're putting me into a group. I'm debuting."
Hangeng looks sad and happy all at once, leaning against the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm glad. You deserve it," he says, smiling. There's things he's not saying, Jaejoong can see it in his eyes. Maybe there's things Jaejoong's not saying, either.
"Hangeng," Jaejoong says, placing a hand on Hangeng's arm, lightly, "ge, thank you."
Hangeng's eyes are bright when he looks up, that sweet smile still curving his lips. "No," he says, dropping his arms to Jaejoong's waist, pulling him in for a hug. "Thank you."
And Jaejoong thinks maybe they don't need to say anything at all. Their last dance, they'll give it all away.
hangeng/jaejoong
PG-13
for angelacaduca, who wanted more suju/dbsk fic, and for vibratory and dear_whimsy, as well, because they believed in the ~powah of hanjae ;D ♥ tbh, i'm not too sure about how this one turned out, on the whole, but here it is, anyway. @__@
you can't start a fire
you can't start a fire without a spark
this gun's for hire
even if we're just dancing in the dark
dancing in the dark - bruce springsteen
There's a new trainee, as of 2:23 PM and maybe a few seconds in. Jaejoong's heard he's Chinese, dancer's figure and soft-spoken, with the singing voice to match. So far there's no talk on who he's rooming with, whose group is getting a new member, but Jaejoong's pretty confident it won't be his. They've got plenty of harmonization now and no more room in their dorm, as well.
That's not to say he's not curious, though, and Jaejoong can't help wondering as he practices his scales; as Yunho heaves another mildly annoyed sigh when he forgets a dance step (Heechul snickers in the background and Jaejoong throws his sweaty towel at him just to hear the indignant screech that follows); as he cleans up another table because the busboy is being lazy in the back (there's a tip on the table - they were Americans who spoke loud, obnoxious English - Jaejoong pockets it despite the guilt).
Jaejoong wonders if he's another insecurity.
--
Jaejoong's been having trouble sleeping lately, twisted images and his voice gone when he tries to scream. He's passing the third studio on the way to the nearest exit for a smoke when he catches a flurry of shadowed movement in the window, hears the strain of muffled music. Curious, Jaejoong opens the door and peeks inside, watches quiet and unseen as the dancer seems to fly across the studio, the sounds of soft, lilting traditional Chinese music filling the room. Jaejoong's envious instantly, watching this person move with a fluid grace he'll never have.
Jaejoong doesn't know how long he stands there, just staring, but eventually the music stops and so does the dancer. Jaejoong's pretty sure by now it's the new trainee, judging from the music, mostly, though part of it is how he danced; Jaejoong's never see that before. The dancer turns, as if sensing Jaejoong's eyes on him, and Jaejoong can see his blush even in the dim lighting of the studio. Jaejoong mumbles an apology that he's sure the trainee doesn't understand and backs away and down the hall again.
When he finally does get to sleep that night, he dreams of dancing in the dark, ashes and smoke.
--
Heechul knows this new trainee, took an immediate liking to him, from what Jaejoong can gather. It's odd for Heechul; they say Jaejoong is icy but Heechul has the crown. Jaejoong casually mentions the newcomer one day, slipping him easily into the conversation. Heechul's eyes narrow slightly and Jaejoong smiles sweetly. "What do you wanna know?" Heechul asks, fingering a french fry absently.
Jaejoong shrugs, not sure what, exactly, and says so. "Whatever you know, I guess."
Heechul pops the french fry into his mouth. He chews like he talks, loud and obscene, uncaring of what he says and who he hurts when he says it. "He's Chinese, doesn't know much Korean yet," he says once he's swallowed, following through with another fry. "Really cute and shy. I don't think he talks much either way, you know?" Jaejoong nods like he knows, even though he really doesn't. "When he does talk, it's really quiet, like he feels out of place or something." Heechul shrugs. "He can sing, though. And dance - he knows ballet, did you know? And when he smiles, I just want to pinch his cheeks." Heechul pinches at the air, perilously close to Jaejoong's own cheeks.
Jaejoong moves back instinctively and Heechul laughs. Jaejoong hums thoughtfully, having already known most of that. "So, what's his name?" he asks, nibbling at one of his own fries.
Heechul drops his hands, eyeing Jaejoong suspiciously. "Why do you want to know?"
Jaejoong shrugs again, same answer as before. "Just curious. Everyone's talking about him and it's not like you to take to someone so easily," he says, finishing off the fry.
Heechul sighs, a forlorn thing, and leans back in his chair. "I'm so abused, you know? But you're right," he says, grinning with a slight edge to the corners of the smile that could make it a smirk. Could, but Jaejoong knows better, by now. "His name's Hangeng or Hankyung. I think he prefers Hangeng though. Maybe it reminds him of home."
Jaejoong says the name silently, fitting the syllables to his tongue. "It's a nice name," he says absently.
Heechul's ignoring him in favor of his hamburger. Though he does say, between swallowing a bite of it and another french fry, "He sneaks into the third studio every night and dances," and then there's nothing more on the subject as Heechul suddenly remembers a prank he and Donghae pulled on Kangin earlier that he has to describe to Jaejoong in detail.
Jaejoong half-listens, remembering darkness and grace.
--
It's three nights later before Jaejoong's restless again, laying in bed and watching Yunho's chest rise and fall with every breath he takes. Donghae's snoring lightly beside Yunho, curled up into his side. Jaejoong smiles despite the minor annoyance, decides to go for a walk, maybe a smoke.
Somehow, a walk takes him back to the third studio, curious and maybe a little eager. Jaejoong doesn't hear any music though and cracks the door open a bit, peering inside. There's a faint shuffling sound;someone's in there. Jaejoong opens the door a little more and sticks his head completely inside, notices the vague shadow of someone in the back of the room. "Hello?" he calls out, slipping in and shutting the door. Jaejoong flips on the light and the room's illuminated, bright and making Jaejoong squint for a moment or two as his eyes make the adjustment.
Hangeng is there, like Jaejoong thought he'd be, watching Jaejoong with a shy smile on his face, shuffling. "Hi," he says.
Jaejoong smiles back, inching forward. "I'm Jaejoong, Heechul's friend? He told me about you."
Hangeng tilts his head, looking embarrassed. "I... sorry, I-- no? No understand?" he says, blushing. "Heechul. Heechul of friend?" Hangeng points at Jaejoong, brows lifted in question.
Jaejoong nods, hoping he's interpreting Hangeng right. He pats his chest. "Friend of Heechul, yes," he says, correcting and hoping Hangeng understands. He feels a little like a caveman as he points at himself again and says, "Jaejoong."
Hangeng smiles again, nodding. "Jaejoong," he says, then points at himself. "Hange-- Hankyung."
Jaejoong frowns, shaking his head and places a comforting hand on Hangeng's arm. "Hangeng," he says softly, smiling again.
Hangeng's smile widens into something beautiful.
--
"Do you dance?" Hangeng asks him, twirling his chopsticks absently. His Korean's not exceptional, but it's better, and between hand gestures and random guesses, Jaejoong can understand him most of the time.
Jaejoong shakes his head in answer, flushing. "It's one of my weak areas," he admits, shrugging it off. "I'm getting a little better, I think, but Yunho and Donghae still leave me in the dust most of the time."
"Oh," Hangeng says, then points his chopsticks at Jaejoong. "I will teach you. Tonight."
--
"You like him, don't you?"
Jaejoong looks at Heechul with a dry raise of his eyebrow, breathing in deep at the burn as Heechul pushes his leg a little more. He's half-tempted to tell Heechul to get off and just give up on stretching exercises altogether, but Yunho's giving him the eye. "'Course I do," he replies, only half-strained. "He's my friend."
Heechul snorts, dropping Jaejoong's leg unceremoniously. He pats at the other one and Jaejoong lifts it obligingly. "I think you know what I'm talking about, Jaejoong,"Heechul says, "and I'm not talking friendship. Unless, y'know, you think about fucking all your friends. In which case you need to find another stretch partner, you sicko." Heechul pulls a face and Jaejoong halfheartedly tries to smack at him. And fails horribly, which only makes Heechul laugh, loudly. "So. Am I right, or am I right?"
"Wrong," Jaejoong says, and hooks his leg around Heechul's shoulder, dragging him down. Heechul yelps and curses like the bravest sailor ever while Donghae and Kangin laugh across the room. Yunho's giving Jaejoong another look, though, so he reluctantly lets Heechul go.
"Except for the part where I'm right, so you better not hurt him in any way." Heechul's serious, now. "And you're going down for that later, asshole," Heechul says with a sniff that means the seriousness is gone, and wanders over to Yunho, where he proceeds to drape himself across Yunho's shoulders.
Jaejoong just glares at Heechul's back and gives up on stretching. He's got better things to do, like working on his triceps. And Yunho's not looking, anyway.
--
For the past few weeks since they met, Jaejoong's been coming to watch Hangeng practice at night. Hangeng constantly tells Jaejoong he doesn't have to, but Jaejoong's a willing participant. More often than not, Hangeng dances to a few songs for Jaejoong, flushing proud and happy, then they sit and talk for hours.
Tonight, as Hangeng promised, it's slightly different. Jaejoong's standing in the middle of the studio feeling like the village idiot who, on top of being stupid, has no sense of coordination between his two left feet whatsoever.Hangeng smiles in amusement, head cocked. "You stand weird," he says, walking over and lifting Jaejoong's arms. "Too tense. Relax."
Jaejoong sucks in a breath, nodding. "Okay."
Hangeng giggles. "Still tense. Here, I'll help." Hangeng wanders over to the CD player and turns it on, flooding the room's with a song Jaejoong's never heard before, something American, from the sounds of it. It's a nice song, old rock, probably. Jaejoong wonders how Hangeng knows it. "Dance, Jaejoong," Hangeng says, twirling perfectly around the room. "Just dance."
So Jaejoong does. Slowly, at first, not sure what to do, then Hangeng smiles widely and takes Jaejoong's hands, shaking them. "Loosen up," Hangeng says, and starts stepping from side to side, snapping a finger to the beat. "See?" Each step of Hangeng's feet land with the snap of his fingers, the beat of the song, and Jaejoong mimics it. "It's all in the song, Jaejoong."
Jaejoong nods, laughing as Hangeng twirls him out and back in. Hangeng sings along with the song, getting more and more creative with his dancing, more carefree. Jaejoong echoes it, feeling the happiness that seems to radiate from Hangeng feed into him.
They dance, and Jaejoong could care less what he looks like, can only see the crinkle of Hangeng's eyes, the curve of his smile, clearly understood in any language. And maybe that's what it's always been about.
--
"I'm done, Hangeng," Jaejoong says. "They're putting me into a group. I'm debuting."
Hangeng looks sad and happy all at once, leaning against the railing with his arms crossed over his chest. "I'm glad. You deserve it," he says, smiling. There's things he's not saying, Jaejoong can see it in his eyes. Maybe there's things Jaejoong's not saying, either.
"Hangeng," Jaejoong says, placing a hand on Hangeng's arm, lightly, "ge, thank you."
Hangeng's eyes are bright when he looks up, that sweet smile still curving his lips. "No," he says, dropping his arms to Jaejoong's waist, pulling him in for a hug. "Thank you."
And Jaejoong thinks maybe they don't need to say anything at all. Their last dance, they'll give it all away.