no air
no air
jaejoong/yoochun
pg-13
au-ish. or just weird.
if i should die before i wake it's cause you took my breath away; losing you is like living in a world with no air
Yoochun wakes in a cold sweat, breathing heavily, tears spilling from closed eyelids; images still wrap too-tight around the base of his skull and cling to his retinas like flashes from a horror movie. Jaejoong, dark hair floating all around him, eyes blank and staring open. He's mocking life under the water, fingers curled and reaching out for help that never comes. Yoochun chokes silently, knuckles on his eyes and a shake in his heart; it's been four years. He's been without visions since he moved back to Korea.
A hand touches his back gently, hesitantly, but Yoochun startles anyway. "Chunnie," Jaejoong whispers, the touch pressing more firmly, circles meant to be comforting. Yoochun turns, buries his face into Jaejoong's neck and clings like he'll never let go. Jaejoong tilts his head up with a finger and his dark, living eyes bore into Yoochun's. Yoochun's sight blurs again. "Chunnie," Jaejoong says again, more insistently, worried, "What is it? A nightmare?"
Yoochun nods, wishing it were true as he does so. Wishing for the thousandth time he could have saved--
"Yoochun! Yoo--"
A screech of brakes and metal, the dull thud of a body-- lifeless in an instant-- against the pavement and too much red (couldn't save him, knew it all along)--
"Yoochun!" Jaejoong shakes him, then raises a hand, cupping his cheek. "You're scaring me," Jaejoong says, frantic eyes searching his face. Yoochun forces a smile, a weak laugh, ducks his head as Jaejoong thumbs away the tears on his cheeks. "Are you okay? It's over, Chunnie, I've got you." Jaejoong embraces him and Yoochun can't still his body's trembling, can't stop the thought, but who's got you?
wish there was a way that i can get you to understand
The visions don't stop. Yoochun's insomnia returns, and his health gets worse. Still, he carries on. Jaejoong's constantly at his side, fussing over him while Yunho and the others watch, concerned. They can't help him-- he can't even help himself. Every time he manages to sleep, all he sees is Jaejoong drowning over and over again, beautiful even in death.
Jaejoong asks him what's wrong as they share a cigarette on the balcony-- the words are there, caught between his heart and his throat, seeking to escape. Yoochun can't say it, avoids the subject like he always does and simply sucks on the cigarette. It burns the words away, bitter and hot.
Jaejoong walks away and Yoochun lets his breath out slowly; it hurts.
'cause my world revolves around you it's so hard for me to breathe
Yoochun slips beneath the blankets and apologizes to Jaejoong with a kiss, too soft to be anything but a brush of lips and air. "'M sorry," he murmurs, and can't say anything else, can't do anything but hold Jaejoong like he's a lifejacket in this sea of emotions and oversaturated flashes of death Yoochun's drowning in (and he'd do it, he'd drown for Jaejoong, to save his love in Jaejoong's beating heart). Jaejoong lets Yoochun kiss him down, press fingers into skin and carve memories.
Jaejoong breathes love into Yoochun's mouth and Yoochun's heart cracks under the pressure.
there's no gravity to hold me down for real
They're shooting at another seashore. Yoochun's constantly watching Jaejoong, keeping him safe. Jaejoong flirts with the water's edge, eyes crinkled and mouth wide, and Yoochun tenses, can't stop himself from reaching out and pulling Jaejoong in. Jaejoong eyes him and Yoochun smiles-- something for the cameras. Jaejoong knows better, the grip on Yoochun's arm tightening as if to say 'later, we'll talk'. Yoochun doesn't care anymore, as long as Jaejoong stays away from the sea with her tempting waves like sirens, waiting to pull you under and steal your breath; there's no air in her deep embrace.
tell me how i'm supposed to breathe with no air; can't live, can't breathe with no air
Jaejoong finds him on the windowsill, watching the moon paint the water innocent. He doesn't say anything, wraps arms around Yoochun's waist and leans his chin on Yoochun's shoulder. Yoochun closes his eyes and wishes he could see Jaejoong alive behind them. Jaejoong's head tilts against his, a nudge. Yoochun opens his eyes and realizes Jaejoong doesn't have to say anything; it's all there in his dark eyes, questions Yoochun doesn't have an answer to. Questions Yoochun can't answer. "I'll be fine."
Jaejoong's eyes shutter and Yoochun feels lost. "You walk around like a dead person, Yoochun," Jaejoong whispers, fingers clenching too-tight into Yoochun's shirt, into his skin. "I want to see you live again."
Yoochun's heart cracks again; the dam's about to break.
i walked, i ran, i jumped, i flew right off the ground to float to you
Yoochun falls asleep with Jaejoong curled up into him, breathing light and steady against his neck. And the puzzle comes together: Jaejoong, gripping his calf too-tight as the waves turn over his crippled body. Jaejoong with his eyes wide and fear swimming in them. The water chokes him, pulls him under. Jaejoong, his hair all around him like a dark, disfigured halo. He reaches out, eyes blank with death--
a hand clasps Jaejoong's and doesn't let go--
Yoochun wakes with a gasp, heavy and relieved, salt on his face and lips. He reaches for Jaejoong, but the bed's empty save for himself. Yoochun feels panic seize his heart and wrench, stop. Yoochun's never moved faster in his life, running out the door and across the sand like he's flying (his heart's on his sleeve, hanging on for its life). He can't see Jaejoong anywhere, there's no head breaking the surface of the water.
Yoochun plunges in, forces his eyes open though it stings, blurs (if he's crying, the sea takes his tears away). Through the hazy water Yoochun sees Jaejoong, illuminated too-sharp by the rising sun and the flashes of death that burn Yoochun's retinas like unforgiving seawater. Yoochun swims harder, every muscle crying out, trying to give in to the call of the siren thundering too loud in his ears. There's no air left in his lungs but he'll drown for this. Yoochun reaches out and grabs Jaejoong's hand, pulls. His vision fades; the last thing he might see is Jaejoong, ever beautiful. Yoochun strains, everything that he couldn't say breaking out in bubbles all around him, i'll save you, jaejoong-- it keeps him going.
He breaks the surface and cries out. It might be relief, it might be sorrow. Jaejoong's lifeless against him, but Yoochun refuses to believe he's dead. Somehow he gets them ashore, Jaejoong spread out on the sand like some mythical creature from beneath the sea, stealing Yoochun's breath away. Yoochun shakes him, pleading to anyone, to Jaejoong. He pushes frantically into Jaejoong's chest, fingers pressing down to jumpstart a heart that's too precious to lose. Moments pass, beats that are so loud in Yoochun's ears; he kisses Jaejoong's lips, breathes. And Jaejoong comes up for air, coughing-- alive.
but somehow i'm still alive inside; you took my breath, but i survived
The sun rises and the sea calms. Yoochun holds onto Jaejoong like a lifeline, like he's everything in the world. Jaejoong kisses him, breathes sweet air against Yoochun's lips and Yoochun thinks, i've got you.
jaejoong/yoochun
pg-13
au-ish. or just weird.
if i should die before i wake it's cause you took my breath away; losing you is like living in a world with no air
Yoochun wakes in a cold sweat, breathing heavily, tears spilling from closed eyelids; images still wrap too-tight around the base of his skull and cling to his retinas like flashes from a horror movie. Jaejoong, dark hair floating all around him, eyes blank and staring open. He's mocking life under the water, fingers curled and reaching out for help that never comes. Yoochun chokes silently, knuckles on his eyes and a shake in his heart; it's been four years. He's been without visions since he moved back to Korea.
A hand touches his back gently, hesitantly, but Yoochun startles anyway. "Chunnie," Jaejoong whispers, the touch pressing more firmly, circles meant to be comforting. Yoochun turns, buries his face into Jaejoong's neck and clings like he'll never let go. Jaejoong tilts his head up with a finger and his dark, living eyes bore into Yoochun's. Yoochun's sight blurs again. "Chunnie," Jaejoong says again, more insistently, worried, "What is it? A nightmare?"
Yoochun nods, wishing it were true as he does so. Wishing for the thousandth time he could have saved--
"Yoochun! Yoo--"
A screech of brakes and metal, the dull thud of a body-- lifeless in an instant-- against the pavement and too much red (couldn't save him, knew it all along)--
"Yoochun!" Jaejoong shakes him, then raises a hand, cupping his cheek. "You're scaring me," Jaejoong says, frantic eyes searching his face. Yoochun forces a smile, a weak laugh, ducks his head as Jaejoong thumbs away the tears on his cheeks. "Are you okay? It's over, Chunnie, I've got you." Jaejoong embraces him and Yoochun can't still his body's trembling, can't stop the thought, but who's got you?
wish there was a way that i can get you to understand
The visions don't stop. Yoochun's insomnia returns, and his health gets worse. Still, he carries on. Jaejoong's constantly at his side, fussing over him while Yunho and the others watch, concerned. They can't help him-- he can't even help himself. Every time he manages to sleep, all he sees is Jaejoong drowning over and over again, beautiful even in death.
Jaejoong asks him what's wrong as they share a cigarette on the balcony-- the words are there, caught between his heart and his throat, seeking to escape. Yoochun can't say it, avoids the subject like he always does and simply sucks on the cigarette. It burns the words away, bitter and hot.
Jaejoong walks away and Yoochun lets his breath out slowly; it hurts.
'cause my world revolves around you it's so hard for me to breathe
Yoochun slips beneath the blankets and apologizes to Jaejoong with a kiss, too soft to be anything but a brush of lips and air. "'M sorry," he murmurs, and can't say anything else, can't do anything but hold Jaejoong like he's a lifejacket in this sea of emotions and oversaturated flashes of death Yoochun's drowning in (and he'd do it, he'd drown for Jaejoong, to save his love in Jaejoong's beating heart). Jaejoong lets Yoochun kiss him down, press fingers into skin and carve memories.
Jaejoong breathes love into Yoochun's mouth and Yoochun's heart cracks under the pressure.
there's no gravity to hold me down for real
They're shooting at another seashore. Yoochun's constantly watching Jaejoong, keeping him safe. Jaejoong flirts with the water's edge, eyes crinkled and mouth wide, and Yoochun tenses, can't stop himself from reaching out and pulling Jaejoong in. Jaejoong eyes him and Yoochun smiles-- something for the cameras. Jaejoong knows better, the grip on Yoochun's arm tightening as if to say 'later, we'll talk'. Yoochun doesn't care anymore, as long as Jaejoong stays away from the sea with her tempting waves like sirens, waiting to pull you under and steal your breath; there's no air in her deep embrace.
tell me how i'm supposed to breathe with no air; can't live, can't breathe with no air
Jaejoong finds him on the windowsill, watching the moon paint the water innocent. He doesn't say anything, wraps arms around Yoochun's waist and leans his chin on Yoochun's shoulder. Yoochun closes his eyes and wishes he could see Jaejoong alive behind them. Jaejoong's head tilts against his, a nudge. Yoochun opens his eyes and realizes Jaejoong doesn't have to say anything; it's all there in his dark eyes, questions Yoochun doesn't have an answer to. Questions Yoochun can't answer. "I'll be fine."
Jaejoong's eyes shutter and Yoochun feels lost. "You walk around like a dead person, Yoochun," Jaejoong whispers, fingers clenching too-tight into Yoochun's shirt, into his skin. "I want to see you live again."
Yoochun's heart cracks again; the dam's about to break.
i walked, i ran, i jumped, i flew right off the ground to float to you
Yoochun falls asleep with Jaejoong curled up into him, breathing light and steady against his neck. And the puzzle comes together: Jaejoong, gripping his calf too-tight as the waves turn over his crippled body. Jaejoong with his eyes wide and fear swimming in them. The water chokes him, pulls him under. Jaejoong, his hair all around him like a dark, disfigured halo. He reaches out, eyes blank with death--
a hand clasps Jaejoong's and doesn't let go--
Yoochun wakes with a gasp, heavy and relieved, salt on his face and lips. He reaches for Jaejoong, but the bed's empty save for himself. Yoochun feels panic seize his heart and wrench, stop. Yoochun's never moved faster in his life, running out the door and across the sand like he's flying (his heart's on his sleeve, hanging on for its life). He can't see Jaejoong anywhere, there's no head breaking the surface of the water.
Yoochun plunges in, forces his eyes open though it stings, blurs (if he's crying, the sea takes his tears away). Through the hazy water Yoochun sees Jaejoong, illuminated too-sharp by the rising sun and the flashes of death that burn Yoochun's retinas like unforgiving seawater. Yoochun swims harder, every muscle crying out, trying to give in to the call of the siren thundering too loud in his ears. There's no air left in his lungs but he'll drown for this. Yoochun reaches out and grabs Jaejoong's hand, pulls. His vision fades; the last thing he might see is Jaejoong, ever beautiful. Yoochun strains, everything that he couldn't say breaking out in bubbles all around him, i'll save you, jaejoong-- it keeps him going.
He breaks the surface and cries out. It might be relief, it might be sorrow. Jaejoong's lifeless against him, but Yoochun refuses to believe he's dead. Somehow he gets them ashore, Jaejoong spread out on the sand like some mythical creature from beneath the sea, stealing Yoochun's breath away. Yoochun shakes him, pleading to anyone, to Jaejoong. He pushes frantically into Jaejoong's chest, fingers pressing down to jumpstart a heart that's too precious to lose. Moments pass, beats that are so loud in Yoochun's ears; he kisses Jaejoong's lips, breathes. And Jaejoong comes up for air, coughing-- alive.
but somehow i'm still alive inside; you took my breath, but i survived
The sun rises and the sea calms. Yoochun holds onto Jaejoong like a lifeline, like he's everything in the world. Jaejoong kisses him, breathes sweet air against Yoochun's lips and Yoochun thinks, i've got you.