Subject to change

[doupper]

I dont even know what to do anymore. Its like, first you come back and you want to hang out with your friends and all and yeah that upset me and whatever, but i got to realize that you havent been able to see your friends either, so i was like okay well thats kewl we can both do our own thing ya know. Then you say that you are sorry because you havent been spending enough time with me and yadda yadda yadda.. well that was kewl too, but its like now you are complaining about not seeing me enough, so we i go to ask you if you want to do something.. and you are like well there is nothing to do.. blah blah blah... we dont have to fucking do something.. i mean.. you are accusing me of losing interest.. well maybe you are too and you are just scared to admit it. Call me crazy but whatever.... Maybe you were right when you questioned all this at first.. I mean when you told me the other night "well maybe this relationship just isnt what i expected it to be" i mean youre right... its not. But i dont really know what you mean by that. you say that you mean nothing.. but to me that doesnt seem like 'nothing'. You are obviously trying to say something with that statement... do you want more.. less... what did you think it was going to be? Its like i try to talk to you but you just say... aight... and yeah... but yet you are telling me that there is a lack of communication.. im so confused right now.. and honestly im not to sure if i care all that much.

yes i admmitted to not putting in as much effort as i probably should have... but why should i ... last relationship i was in i got fucked, i dont expect to put my life on hold for someone, and its like... no matter how hard i try and delete my options down to only a few, it seems like all of them are the wrong ones...
maybe i just have to many expectations i want you to fullfill...