Long overdue post
Looking back at my LiveJournal feed, I realize that many things have not been said here. I promised a full rundown of my marriage two years ago, that didn't happen.
That's probably all for the best, as of right now I am single again.
To put it into as few words as possible: she left me. We both agreed that we got married for the wrong reasons at the wrong time, weren't really prepared and over time got into some really ugly patterns. However, all through that I wanted to work through the problems and make it work. She apparently didn't, and a few mere weeks shy of our second wedding anniversary she left me.
It is of course far more complicated than that. It always is. We both made mistakes, typical breakup bullshit, yadda yadda yadda. If you want the full story, corner me with a few hours to spare and a twelve-pack and we'll talk. ;)
This all happened in February. I of course spent my time as a sad, mopey bastard beating myself up and generally feeling sorry for myself. And then last week I decided I wanted to be happy, that I was done with that sad mopey shit, and was over feeling sorry for myself. At that very same moment, I rediscovered my self-confidence and self-value. I don't know where that went, but I missed it. It's good having the old me back. I missed me.
For better or worse, I have the experience of an unhealthy marriage under my belt and I've learned things I will never put up with again. This goes for how I behave, and how I am treated. My list of requirements for potential mates and playmates has gotten much stricter. I know what I will and will not tolerate in general, and specifically in regards to my partners. I also have seen a glimpse of my own dark side, and I will not go there again.
I also have been blessed by an amazing support structure. Thank you all for helping me.
It's rather surprising, but I'm actually pretty much okay. Yeah, my heart has been broken into little bits, but I've had that happen several times over. I now know how to pick up the pieces when my universe falls apart.
I'm not happy with how things have gone, but I'll get through this just fine. I've got my confidence back. This is a new chapter in Dougie's life. Let's see how the next few pages unfold.
That's probably all for the best, as of right now I am single again.
To put it into as few words as possible: she left me. We both agreed that we got married for the wrong reasons at the wrong time, weren't really prepared and over time got into some really ugly patterns. However, all through that I wanted to work through the problems and make it work. She apparently didn't, and a few mere weeks shy of our second wedding anniversary she left me.
It is of course far more complicated than that. It always is. We both made mistakes, typical breakup bullshit, yadda yadda yadda. If you want the full story, corner me with a few hours to spare and a twelve-pack and we'll talk. ;)
This all happened in February. I of course spent my time as a sad, mopey bastard beating myself up and generally feeling sorry for myself. And then last week I decided I wanted to be happy, that I was done with that sad mopey shit, and was over feeling sorry for myself. At that very same moment, I rediscovered my self-confidence and self-value. I don't know where that went, but I missed it. It's good having the old me back. I missed me.
For better or worse, I have the experience of an unhealthy marriage under my belt and I've learned things I will never put up with again. This goes for how I behave, and how I am treated. My list of requirements for potential mates and playmates has gotten much stricter. I know what I will and will not tolerate in general, and specifically in regards to my partners. I also have seen a glimpse of my own dark side, and I will not go there again.
I also have been blessed by an amazing support structure. Thank you all for helping me.
It's rather surprising, but I'm actually pretty much okay. Yeah, my heart has been broken into little bits, but I've had that happen several times over. I now know how to pick up the pieces when my universe falls apart.
I'm not happy with how things have gone, but I'll get through this just fine. I've got my confidence back. This is a new chapter in Dougie's life. Let's see how the next few pages unfold.