I Just Wrote An Entry
I just wrote an entry, and I read it. I read the whole conversation with Evan. That was just days or a week before. That's why I don't understand any of this. He's refusing to talk to me. My mom and therapist says it's because before, when we were going out, he did everything he did to try and please me. Now, he's doing everything he can to try and please his parents. That's the kind of person he is. It never seemed to me like he was some kind of a pushover, it just seemed like he loved me a lot. And my friend told me he's now friends with this kid Adam. I hate Adam. He's so weird, but the Evan I used to know would NEVER be friends with him. He hated him MUCH more than I did. He was always making fun of him and saying how he never liked him. It scares me that they're friends. My friend said she asked Adam, Did you know they broke up? He answered, Yeah, it was about that time we became friends. He's doing things the old him would never do. Well, I always got the feeling he was like a loser in his school, so maybe he's just being friends with Adam because they're in the same class and there's no one else in that class he knows. But together, they could really trash me. I went out with Adam once, dumped him, made fun of him A LOT, and played all kinds of tricks on him with Toni and Josh. So he has it in for me, and maybe Evan does too, he doesn't have a good reason, but it seemes like he's mad at me from the way he's acting. But my therapist promised me that he's going through just as much pain as me, and what she said is keeping me alive. He better be going through all the pain. I just really want to have a boyfriend again, if not him, then someone who's at least hot, [Evan isn't at all] and someone who was just as sweet as him, and actually meant it when they said I will never do this to you. But I think guys like that who are my age are impossible to find, and I was lucky with Evan. I want him to call me. God, I even have his mother's book, she lent me it the last night I saw him. So it seems like they weren't planning for this to happen. It seems to be Evan and his parents, but I don't know, I just want some answers. And I want him to stay the fuck away from Adam.