Time is passing us by
Incase none of you read my MySpace blogs, or you don't like MySpace...this is what I wrote:
There has been a strong sense of hostility around the country lately.
That same sense of hostility seems to be roaming through my life as well.
I see myself drifting from friends, but I don't really seem to mind. I don't really see myself being on AIM as much anymore because my life is starting to head somewhere and I am starting to feel happier again. I feel most at peace when I am at school, it sounds weird but it is so true. Ventura College takes me away from Ojai, a place of so many memories that I would rather forget, and when I am at school, I feel like soon I will be on my own and I will finally be happy with myself once again.
I have been battling some personal demons that I have had for years now, some coming up on five years, and while it is hard, I think I am going to be alright. So many of my friends I have now base who I am off of an appearance that I don't want them to see, and as I change, I start to see the real face of people.
I am noticing that my shyness is wearing away, now that I realize that people shouldn't hold simple grudges over people for something that happened two years ago, but who they can become tomorrow. I am in a world where nobody knows me, and I am going to show them who I really am. I am willing to show the people I know now the true me, but I am afraid that they might think it is too drastic of a change and they might be uncomfortable with change.
Who am I really? I am an outspoken person who doesn't like people to get the best of myself. I don't like to do things for people if I don’t see a personal benefit for myself. I like doing my homework because I see a purpose for it, and I don't really care if you think that is gay. I like being sober because I have a crazy idea that maybe if I do things as I am supposed to do, I might just be somebody amazing. I love playing video games because it is who I am, and one of my first passions was making computer games using Visual Basic. I love my family, I couldn't ask for a better father and mother or two greater sisters, and I don't care if you think it is lame that I stay home to be near them instead of getting drunk on the weekends and lie to hide a part of me that I would be ashamed of in years to come. I love the fact that I can look at a girl and think to myself that she is one of the most beautiful girls ever, and when she looks back at me, I can see curiosity in her eyes too. I love the fact I can write and stand up to critique from a person and not take it personally, but reflect on it as a growing experience. But I also love the fact that if you piss me off I will shut you the fuck up, but only because you were probably an asshole to me once before and you inevitably had it coming. I love wearing the same thing everyday, and not being a slave to clothing companies walking around and paying 30 dollars just to advertise their company. I love listening to music on my "bulky" Creative Zen Touch MP3 player, not because I am anti-iPod and I am an original, because I am not, but because it is a great value and it has superior sound quality and performance that I haven't seen in iPods. I love my Gamecube and I don't care what you say about Zelda: Wind Waker, it is visually stunning.
That isn't a full list, but you can get the jist fit all.
Today I woke up and went to Rite-Aid to buy graph paper and light bulbs. It was not something that someone would expect me of doing, but I had homework to do since I have my first Math test tomorrow and I had to do quite a bit of homework. I sat down and for four and a half hours straight I did homework. Then for the past week I have been living in the dark, so to say, so I put new light bulbs in my lamp because I haven't gotten around to it. For some you might not see any importance to this, but this is evidence of self-motivation that I have never had previously before I started college. I am proud of myself for getting the homework done, because if this was a day I spent in high school, I would be sitting here online and still have my homework sitting in my backpack unfinished. Yet now, I see an importance in life, and a value in my education. It is indescribable, but something I have never felt before. I see myself at the end of the run for school and if I am going to pay for it, I should make the best of it.
I have friends who will remain nameless, but they insist on complaining about classes and saying that they are pointless, and I just think "What the fuck? Why are you even going?" They paid for their education, for them to ditch to go get food and not sit in class for 50 minutes is a waste of money and I feel sad for their judgment because it is too late now to drop out without going through complicated paperwork.
A thing I am really pissed off about is MySpace whores. It is sad that when I say that, people even know what I am talking about because it is a real thing now. I don't like how they repost the gay bulletins about Tom saying MySpace is going to be shut down or that you will have to pay for MySpace if you don't repost the bulletin for two reasons:
1. MySpace will NEVER be shut down, it was just bought by NewsCorp who is supposedly willing to fund it with no end in sight, and Tom says in the help section on the site that while you might have to pay in the future for extra features, all of the features you are using now will always remain free.
2. Tom would NEVER post a bulletin because it is an inconsistent way of communicating important messages on MySpace because a number of people have taken Tom off of his friends list, so the message wouldn't be sent to everyone. This is why you get all of the critical updates in your mailbox, or when you check bulletins on its own separate page, or if they are really crucial, you will see them on the main page of your control panel of MySpace.
I also don't like those stupid political bulletins that are posted because I know that more than half of the friends I have don't know a damn thing about politics so they shouldn't be opening their mouth. If you have an opinion about politics, you should write your own bulletin complaining about them, not copying and pasting one of those gay repost bulletins, because those just make you look uneducated about politics.
The reason I talked about this so far into the blog is because I figure all of the truly superficial MySpace whore's won't read this much because it takes away from their whoring time.
Well I guess that is all I have to say for now. I am sure I have offended, confused and enlightened people on who I really am, and I am glad I have done all three because it means you have actually read and comprehended what I said, so I thank you.
You can leave a comment on this if you want to say something.
Bye.
There has been a strong sense of hostility around the country lately.
That same sense of hostility seems to be roaming through my life as well.
I see myself drifting from friends, but I don't really seem to mind. I don't really see myself being on AIM as much anymore because my life is starting to head somewhere and I am starting to feel happier again. I feel most at peace when I am at school, it sounds weird but it is so true. Ventura College takes me away from Ojai, a place of so many memories that I would rather forget, and when I am at school, I feel like soon I will be on my own and I will finally be happy with myself once again.
I have been battling some personal demons that I have had for years now, some coming up on five years, and while it is hard, I think I am going to be alright. So many of my friends I have now base who I am off of an appearance that I don't want them to see, and as I change, I start to see the real face of people.
I am noticing that my shyness is wearing away, now that I realize that people shouldn't hold simple grudges over people for something that happened two years ago, but who they can become tomorrow. I am in a world where nobody knows me, and I am going to show them who I really am. I am willing to show the people I know now the true me, but I am afraid that they might think it is too drastic of a change and they might be uncomfortable with change.
Who am I really? I am an outspoken person who doesn't like people to get the best of myself. I don't like to do things for people if I don’t see a personal benefit for myself. I like doing my homework because I see a purpose for it, and I don't really care if you think that is gay. I like being sober because I have a crazy idea that maybe if I do things as I am supposed to do, I might just be somebody amazing. I love playing video games because it is who I am, and one of my first passions was making computer games using Visual Basic. I love my family, I couldn't ask for a better father and mother or two greater sisters, and I don't care if you think it is lame that I stay home to be near them instead of getting drunk on the weekends and lie to hide a part of me that I would be ashamed of in years to come. I love the fact that I can look at a girl and think to myself that she is one of the most beautiful girls ever, and when she looks back at me, I can see curiosity in her eyes too. I love the fact I can write and stand up to critique from a person and not take it personally, but reflect on it as a growing experience. But I also love the fact that if you piss me off I will shut you the fuck up, but only because you were probably an asshole to me once before and you inevitably had it coming. I love wearing the same thing everyday, and not being a slave to clothing companies walking around and paying 30 dollars just to advertise their company. I love listening to music on my "bulky" Creative Zen Touch MP3 player, not because I am anti-iPod and I am an original, because I am not, but because it is a great value and it has superior sound quality and performance that I haven't seen in iPods. I love my Gamecube and I don't care what you say about Zelda: Wind Waker, it is visually stunning.
That isn't a full list, but you can get the jist fit all.
Today I woke up and went to Rite-Aid to buy graph paper and light bulbs. It was not something that someone would expect me of doing, but I had homework to do since I have my first Math test tomorrow and I had to do quite a bit of homework. I sat down and for four and a half hours straight I did homework. Then for the past week I have been living in the dark, so to say, so I put new light bulbs in my lamp because I haven't gotten around to it. For some you might not see any importance to this, but this is evidence of self-motivation that I have never had previously before I started college. I am proud of myself for getting the homework done, because if this was a day I spent in high school, I would be sitting here online and still have my homework sitting in my backpack unfinished. Yet now, I see an importance in life, and a value in my education. It is indescribable, but something I have never felt before. I see myself at the end of the run for school and if I am going to pay for it, I should make the best of it.
I have friends who will remain nameless, but they insist on complaining about classes and saying that they are pointless, and I just think "What the fuck? Why are you even going?" They paid for their education, for them to ditch to go get food and not sit in class for 50 minutes is a waste of money and I feel sad for their judgment because it is too late now to drop out without going through complicated paperwork.
A thing I am really pissed off about is MySpace whores. It is sad that when I say that, people even know what I am talking about because it is a real thing now. I don't like how they repost the gay bulletins about Tom saying MySpace is going to be shut down or that you will have to pay for MySpace if you don't repost the bulletin for two reasons:
1. MySpace will NEVER be shut down, it was just bought by NewsCorp who is supposedly willing to fund it with no end in sight, and Tom says in the help section on the site that while you might have to pay in the future for extra features, all of the features you are using now will always remain free.
2. Tom would NEVER post a bulletin because it is an inconsistent way of communicating important messages on MySpace because a number of people have taken Tom off of his friends list, so the message wouldn't be sent to everyone. This is why you get all of the critical updates in your mailbox, or when you check bulletins on its own separate page, or if they are really crucial, you will see them on the main page of your control panel of MySpace.
I also don't like those stupid political bulletins that are posted because I know that more than half of the friends I have don't know a damn thing about politics so they shouldn't be opening their mouth. If you have an opinion about politics, you should write your own bulletin complaining about them, not copying and pasting one of those gay repost bulletins, because those just make you look uneducated about politics.
The reason I talked about this so far into the blog is because I figure all of the truly superficial MySpace whore's won't read this much because it takes away from their whoring time.
Well I guess that is all I have to say for now. I am sure I have offended, confused and enlightened people on who I really am, and I am glad I have done all three because it means you have actually read and comprehended what I said, so I thank you.
You can leave a comment on this if you want to say something.
Bye.