Life moves on, some people don't.
I'm going to be typing about alot of stuff that no one would know about, because anything that effected tonight did so on a level that only took place before I knew anyone who would be reading a post. As a child, when I lived with both parents of course there was a very close group of people that we would hang out with in the area. One of these friends called me tonight durring work, so I felt the urge to delve into the past a bit again. I returned the call and talked to a friend I havent spoke to in over a year now. A year might not seem that long to all of you but me and this friend knew each other as babies. We learned everything together growing up. He is more of a brother than anything else to me. We talked for a bit about the past and how we would always be doing our own things, my tweaking with computers and him with mechanics and carpentry. Everyone else in the neighborhood was your average kid. Me and him decided that since he was in town for the weekend from boston where he has been working, that we would go and see all of our old friends from the neighborhood at midnight lol seems rather strange, I know. Amazingly we found a few of them and they showed us where everyone was hanging out. There was a party this night. I got to talk to alot of past people and see how they have progressed since I last saw them. I was felt sick within the first half hour. My friend Dean now deals drugs, he made it through highschool and I am proud of that. But he hasent done anything for himself since then. Bobo just dropped out of highschool after his second try at his senior year. I found out my friend raph died a few months ago driving drunk after one of their parties. My friend Mark doesnt seem to hang out with anyone from the area anymore and last seen by andy he was at the zoo tripping on extacy.
The crew I used to look up to and think of as a movie-like family of friends, is now a bunch of complete morons. They've done absolutley nothing with their life and they are aiming into even worse scenarios. I dont understand how ALL of my friends can turn out this way and be something completely horrable when they used to be such good people.
It made me realize that what I have now... The life I am currently living... the goals I am setting... My new friends.... My new family.... Its all something that is one of the two extremes that I could have turned out as. As I was talking to Dean I asked him the special occasion that they are drinking and smoking for, and he told me that this is what they do every night now. If my parents wouldnt have split up or if I chose to live with my dad instead of my mom, I could have turned out like them. every night doing nothing but wasting my life. Or even as worse as raph. Both me and Matt(my friend that was in town) realized that if we wouldnt have moved away from these people in even the past year that we did, we would be completely different people. Things have turned out for the better by far.
I sat in my car for a half hour comparing what my old friend are now going through, and who my new friends are now. I am happy.... I think happier than I ever have been in life. It sounds strange but its true. I am actually scared of what I would be like if things haddent turned out the way they have.... I respect my new friends greatly. I dont know what i would do without peope like you, and god DAMN do I seem really emo at the moment, but i dont care. I talked to kirk about it all, and he thought I was high, and i dont blame him. I am acting wierd even for myself.
You are all amazing friends and i know that we will all change in different ways. I just want the best for all of you. I dont want to see something happen with you guys, like what came about with my old friends. I think I am going to stop thinking about the past now, move onto the new friends I have now, and be happy.
Thank you all for staying true to whom you are, and not destroying a good thing.
Doug just got home and I am blocking him out of his spot so I have to go, so just dont think im too wierd or going crazy lol.... just happy with you guys
Now that I see that I have broken off into alot of random comments I think I'm gonna leave it at this...
The crew I used to look up to and think of as a movie-like family of friends, is now a bunch of complete morons. They've done absolutley nothing with their life and they are aiming into even worse scenarios. I dont understand how ALL of my friends can turn out this way and be something completely horrable when they used to be such good people.
It made me realize that what I have now... The life I am currently living... the goals I am setting... My new friends.... My new family.... Its all something that is one of the two extremes that I could have turned out as. As I was talking to Dean I asked him the special occasion that they are drinking and smoking for, and he told me that this is what they do every night now. If my parents wouldnt have split up or if I chose to live with my dad instead of my mom, I could have turned out like them. every night doing nothing but wasting my life. Or even as worse as raph. Both me and Matt(my friend that was in town) realized that if we wouldnt have moved away from these people in even the past year that we did, we would be completely different people. Things have turned out for the better by far.
I sat in my car for a half hour comparing what my old friend are now going through, and who my new friends are now. I am happy.... I think happier than I ever have been in life. It sounds strange but its true. I am actually scared of what I would be like if things haddent turned out the way they have.... I respect my new friends greatly. I dont know what i would do without peope like you, and god DAMN do I seem really emo at the moment, but i dont care. I talked to kirk about it all, and he thought I was high, and i dont blame him. I am acting wierd even for myself.
You are all amazing friends and i know that we will all change in different ways. I just want the best for all of you. I dont want to see something happen with you guys, like what came about with my old friends. I think I am going to stop thinking about the past now, move onto the new friends I have now, and be happy.
Thank you all for staying true to whom you are, and not destroying a good thing.
Doug just got home and I am blocking him out of his spot so I have to go, so just dont think im too wierd or going crazy lol.... just happy with you guys
Now that I see that I have broken off into alot of random comments I think I'm gonna leave it at this...