Green-Eyed Monster
Little rant here guys. You decide if this is actual jealousy or this is just the mingaw setting in. A friend of mine (let's call him Doug) has a Kazakhstani girlfriend (let's call her Lisa). She was in NZ as an international student sent by the government of Kazakhstan to study. She graduated a few weeks ago (congratulations!) but then she had to go back home. Doug decides to pack up and go off to Kazakhstan with her, because I guess that's what love makes you do.
Sigh.
I feel jealous because Doug loves Lisa enough to pack up his life and to travel half way across the world to Kazakhstan, where it is snowing and they don't speak English. He learned Russian for her so that he could communicate with her family. It makes me sigh and wish that somebody loved me enough to want to follow me back to Cebu and learn a little bit of Bisaya (Hoy amaw!) so he would know when somebody was making fun of him. I know that I'm going back to Auckland in 15 days but I'm missing Jared and I wish he could be here. It would be unfair to ask him to come to Cebu because we only really just met but still. To have somebody who is that committed to you makes me wonder if I will ever mean that much to anybody.
Another side of me is too afraid to ask for the little things. Like asking to dance to "Notion" by the Kings of Leon, never mind if the lyrics don't match. Like wanting to hold hands without seeming too forward. Like wanting to put my head on his shoulder and just feel for a moment, that I am safe because someone else is watching me. This whole thing is so new to me, but I guess that's what being young is about: learning about new things and experiencing them for the first time.
~doublesharp
ps. I will gladly pack up my life and follow ANY of you to wherever you want us to go. Just so you all know that.
Sigh.
I feel jealous because Doug loves Lisa enough to pack up his life and to travel half way across the world to Kazakhstan, where it is snowing and they don't speak English. He learned Russian for her so that he could communicate with her family. It makes me sigh and wish that somebody loved me enough to want to follow me back to Cebu and learn a little bit of Bisaya (Hoy amaw!) so he would know when somebody was making fun of him. I know that I'm going back to Auckland in 15 days but I'm missing Jared and I wish he could be here. It would be unfair to ask him to come to Cebu because we only really just met but still. To have somebody who is that committed to you makes me wonder if I will ever mean that much to anybody.
Another side of me is too afraid to ask for the little things. Like asking to dance to "Notion" by the Kings of Leon, never mind if the lyrics don't match. Like wanting to hold hands without seeming too forward. Like wanting to put my head on his shoulder and just feel for a moment, that I am safe because someone else is watching me. This whole thing is so new to me, but I guess that's what being young is about: learning about new things and experiencing them for the first time.
~doublesharp
ps. I will gladly pack up my life and follow ANY of you to wherever you want us to go. Just so you all know that.