The long gap
Lately I haven't posted anything in the longest of time. This is primarily because no one really read this. The other reason is because I been so dpressed and still am lately. I question why I continue to live and put myself through this unjustly ordeal.
No one really seems to really want to talk to me, do anything with me, invite me to anything, and even personally exclude me from certain things.
About two months ago there was a party where a lot of local people go to that got started up and it hosted by really cool people. Everyone loves it there and many popular people go. I went and I was the odd loser out of the crowd. The only one not drink, smoking, making out, getting sex, or anything that everyone else was. As the party was coming to a close around 3am. I was told not to come back as I am a loser and creepy and such. So now I can not hang out at a month event I normally go to for a little satifaction.
The few people that I talk to online rarely want to talk to me. It has been lately that catwoman69y2k has been doing many things that I hardly ever get to see her. When I do manage to sneak in a hello, I follow it up with some depressing stuff about how I feel and everything. She just has gotten sick of it and all to often she tend to go off and do more important and useful things. She lately been doing photoshoot and all that. However in her hour of need I tended to try and do something with her like hang out, but it just never happened. I tell how I wish I could be me and she makes the attempt to try and tell me good things about me and I shoot them down with rebuttals and she gives up on it. Not only did I upset the both of us but I am just left with myself.
Over the last month rummyhunny has been thinking very low of me. Thinking I am the "bad news bear." Hardly worth a person that she would ever want to be friends with. I suppose it could be true, but I just do not know what is different about me from when she supposely liked me as a friend versus when she decided to change her mind. I suppose it is just a change on her life to a different perspective. I was a loser when she met and liked me and I was a loser when she started to not like me as a person. The whole thing just makes me wonder why I am me.
Then there is voychael who I used to be able to see at the parties where I am not invited to anymore. It was the only time sI ever get to see him. Sometimes I get the chance to talk online, but like everone else it never lasts every long. Normally is he is busy at work making money doing what he is good at. When he gets home it is known that he is busy at home too. Like anyone would logically think, the brief spare time he does get, would not be wasted on someone like me. Lately he also has been getting drunk off and on and posting about it. Many of his friends being with him and I myself am not one of them. He is suppose to introduce me to getting drunk for the first time, but I doub that will happen any time soon. He doesn't seem to even respond to me anymore at this point in time. So I doubt a private drink fest will ever happen.
To make matters worse I lent my copy of Wario Ware: Smooth Moves to my nephew to barrow since he been wanting to get it. He loses on the trip he took it on when I lent it to him. So I am ou $50 for being nice. I also completed Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess this past weekend and now have nothing to work on. As you read already I have no interaction with other people and therefore no one to play Wii with. Wii Sports is only fun for so long before you get tired of repeatingly beating the AI.
On the upside, work has been well. I am getting much done and getting hints about moving up in the company in the future as several people recently resigned and been fired for bad conduct.
The final update, I got my hair cut, to a size 2. I feel like a loser without my hair. I just love my hair but it won't grow to where I desire it years after years. People have said my hair looks a lot better the way it is now, but I feel it makes me look dumb and I feel dumb without my hair.
Overall this is my life, a disappointment
No one really seems to really want to talk to me, do anything with me, invite me to anything, and even personally exclude me from certain things.
About two months ago there was a party where a lot of local people go to that got started up and it hosted by really cool people. Everyone loves it there and many popular people go. I went and I was the odd loser out of the crowd. The only one not drink, smoking, making out, getting sex, or anything that everyone else was. As the party was coming to a close around 3am. I was told not to come back as I am a loser and creepy and such. So now I can not hang out at a month event I normally go to for a little satifaction.
The few people that I talk to online rarely want to talk to me. It has been lately that catwoman69y2k has been doing many things that I hardly ever get to see her. When I do manage to sneak in a hello, I follow it up with some depressing stuff about how I feel and everything. She just has gotten sick of it and all to often she tend to go off and do more important and useful things. She lately been doing photoshoot and all that. However in her hour of need I tended to try and do something with her like hang out, but it just never happened. I tell how I wish I could be me and she makes the attempt to try and tell me good things about me and I shoot them down with rebuttals and she gives up on it. Not only did I upset the both of us but I am just left with myself.
Over the last month rummyhunny has been thinking very low of me. Thinking I am the "bad news bear." Hardly worth a person that she would ever want to be friends with. I suppose it could be true, but I just do not know what is different about me from when she supposely liked me as a friend versus when she decided to change her mind. I suppose it is just a change on her life to a different perspective. I was a loser when she met and liked me and I was a loser when she started to not like me as a person. The whole thing just makes me wonder why I am me.
Then there is voychael who I used to be able to see at the parties where I am not invited to anymore. It was the only time sI ever get to see him. Sometimes I get the chance to talk online, but like everone else it never lasts every long. Normally is he is busy at work making money doing what he is good at. When he gets home it is known that he is busy at home too. Like anyone would logically think, the brief spare time he does get, would not be wasted on someone like me. Lately he also has been getting drunk off and on and posting about it. Many of his friends being with him and I myself am not one of them. He is suppose to introduce me to getting drunk for the first time, but I doub that will happen any time soon. He doesn't seem to even respond to me anymore at this point in time. So I doubt a private drink fest will ever happen.
To make matters worse I lent my copy of Wario Ware: Smooth Moves to my nephew to barrow since he been wanting to get it. He loses on the trip he took it on when I lent it to him. So I am ou $50 for being nice. I also completed Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess this past weekend and now have nothing to work on. As you read already I have no interaction with other people and therefore no one to play Wii with. Wii Sports is only fun for so long before you get tired of repeatingly beating the AI.
On the upside, work has been well. I am getting much done and getting hints about moving up in the company in the future as several people recently resigned and been fired for bad conduct.
The final update, I got my hair cut, to a size 2. I feel like a loser without my hair. I just love my hair but it won't grow to where I desire it years after years. People have said my hair looks a lot better the way it is now, but I feel it makes me look dumb and I feel dumb without my hair.
Overall this is my life, a disappointment