mind body
I sometimes wish it were more feasible to do violence to people when you're angry at them. How amazing it would feel, when someone does you some emotional injury, insults you, defames you, treats you with disrespect or contempt, to ball up one hurt, angry fist and smash them across the face with it. To put someone down who has put you down, if you take my meaning. Have you ever been hit squarely in the nose? It's a terrible feeling. Like your face is exploding. You can't see, blood fills your mouth, most people cry almost instantly.
It's no worse than being belittled.
It proves nothing, of course, to best someone physically, except, perhaps, to say that "this pain that you feel in your jaw right now is what you put in my heart - I hope it hurts you". We're taught that physical violence is a last resort, a method of coping reserved for the ignorant. How freeing it would be to allow myself just enough ignorance just once, and take terrible vengeance on those who are cruel to me in so much more civilized ways.
Do not reproach me for this. I love my anger. And I long to express it with hard muscles and sharp bones.
It's no worse than being belittled.
It proves nothing, of course, to best someone physically, except, perhaps, to say that "this pain that you feel in your jaw right now is what you put in my heart - I hope it hurts you". We're taught that physical violence is a last resort, a method of coping reserved for the ignorant. How freeing it would be to allow myself just enough ignorance just once, and take terrible vengeance on those who are cruel to me in so much more civilized ways.
Do not reproach me for this. I love my anger. And I long to express it with hard muscles and sharp bones.