i just don't get it...
shall we remain complacent? satisfied cause it all always works out--- because we never try anything? a life like this seems so worthless to me. such a waste of time. but who am i to judge? it's all in the minds' eye and these aspire for hopeful thinking, wishful thinking--- but i have to decide to take that action-to create my own reality- whether it be today or the day i never see it- as long as i am constantly changing, perpetually focused/unfocused, learning, living, EXPERIENCING-- i shall fulfill my destiny-- damn. this is some shit i need to write down. y'all better be reading my shit cause that's what i'm talking about, too. take the time to do something that you don't normally do. learn something from another person. something as simple as breaking the repetition of daily, routine things can be the catalyst for your next epiphany. take advice from someone else. think another way. try something new. read my journal and show me that you love me by commenting. :) i want (reassurance-not quite, validation-not really...) a sense that others feel what i do, or even feel for fuck's sake... please...
i told my mom tonight how i'm bringing back an old idea of mine from when i was like eleven or so and thought i had the whole world at my fingertips (which i do)-- it just has more "barriers" but it's all about how we see them... right? challenges or things to change... or things to HOLD US DOWN!? (rahahaha, you knew a christina reference had to be placed *somewhere*)--k, so the idea... i wanted to have all the people who got along to be on one island or terrortory (whoah, i am not bothering with the spelling now y'all, i am so wasted. TIRED. just from the game... like 10 hours with girls from muh new school in a crowded van going to play soccer-that i can't play yet-yeah-listening to leann rimes, okay back to the point) so people wouldn't be all the same- it would just be respectful. it should be that way here, right? or should we separate and have diverse groups of people living on islands or states, whatever- with their own economic systems, social systems, i don't know... that leaves tons of room for alienation and total takeover. i guess some greedy people would take over others and put them to work in horrible way- my hands look toner, i can see the veins more in my hands. practice is from 3-5 but i've only practiced like 5 or 6 tmes so far... THIS WEEK. okay but yeah horrible things would happen. is that the human spirit? or living spirit? goal? no. not mine. so sad. i dropped philosophy for american politics, but that's okay because then i can at least have a grounding... a basis instead of more questions. as we all know, i've got plenty of those.
now where's YR discourse!?
i told my mom tonight how i'm bringing back an old idea of mine from when i was like eleven or so and thought i had the whole world at my fingertips (which i do)-- it just has more "barriers" but it's all about how we see them... right? challenges or things to change... or things to HOLD US DOWN!? (rahahaha, you knew a christina reference had to be placed *somewhere*)--k, so the idea... i wanted to have all the people who got along to be on one island or terrortory (whoah, i am not bothering with the spelling now y'all, i am so wasted. TIRED. just from the game... like 10 hours with girls from muh new school in a crowded van going to play soccer-that i can't play yet-yeah-listening to leann rimes, okay back to the point) so people wouldn't be all the same- it would just be respectful. it should be that way here, right? or should we separate and have diverse groups of people living on islands or states, whatever- with their own economic systems, social systems, i don't know... that leaves tons of room for alienation and total takeover. i guess some greedy people would take over others and put them to work in horrible way- my hands look toner, i can see the veins more in my hands. practice is from 3-5 but i've only practiced like 5 or 6 tmes so far... THIS WEEK. okay but yeah horrible things would happen. is that the human spirit? or living spirit? goal? no. not mine. so sad. i dropped philosophy for american politics, but that's okay because then i can at least have a grounding... a basis instead of more questions. as we all know, i've got plenty of those.
now where's YR discourse!?