doobb
in
doublea_ace
guide to find the perfect love 2/4
title: guide to find the perfect love 2/4
author: me
pairing: juwon/kimchi, woosang/kimchi, hoik/kimchi, aoora/kimchi,
rating: pg-13
genre: romance, angst
summary: it's all about being bruised until you finally find the eternal cure to build you another heart to love.
disclaimer: do not own the boys, just the story.
a/n: part two hehe, the order are coming, can u guess who's next? :p
|| part 1 ||
guide to find the perfect love; 2/4; woosang/kimchi
back to the beginning, now round two, try my luck with something new,
yehyanngi went on with his life, never forgot his first love, never forgot juwon, but had to live so he wouldn’t give up on himself. plus, life wouldn’t wait for him if he decided to let go, it would eat him up and he wasn’t ready to be eaten away by his life yet. juwon was gone, but he was here, and even if without juwon this world was too dull, worth nothing in his eyes, he could still go on and pretend that it’s worth it and sooner or later he was going to find something that would light his life again.
anything but love.
he turned eighteen on july 11th and finally finished high school and decided on what he wanted to do. he always dreamed of doing something like being a designer, or singer, or dancer, anything musical or art industry related. as long as it wasn’t something as boring as staying in an office and signing papers day and night like his father wanted him to do. he really did not fancy doing something like that. he’d feel like being in a bubble with papers flying everywhere and soon enough he knew he would lose his mind over all those signatures he would have to deal with.
and he knew that it wasn’t just signing papers but it also took a lot of mind to be able to own a company and not make it go bankrupt, but the papers and the closed office was what was unattractive in this job.
but, he needed money at the same time since he did not want his parents to give him some, he always liked being independent, reason why he took an apart for himself at seventeen years old. so having to go meet his father for an interview was probably not the best option, but the best one he had right now. he wanted money faster so he could pay for his music lessons and drawing lessons and his apartment at the same time, and the job at the café store reminded him too much of juwon, the salary wasn’t that much anyways.
it was with quite an amount of sorrow that he left that job and went under his father’s company, but he comforted himself with the thought that soon enough he would be able to get away from all of this, the city, his father, his family and live his dreams. and he went on with life, just like he should have.
when yehyanngi remembered the saying when you don’t ask for something it comes running at you, it was too late to take it as a warning when he met him. but who would have thought? because first of all, he was totally not yehyanngi’s type, he looked much younger although yehyanngi could bet he was much older. he was too enthusiastic, and somehow although he was like a bubble of joy before, yehyanngi liked the quiet types.
but when it comes to love, types and tastes, it doesn’t matter, it comes and forces itself on you and all he had to do was accept it. although he didn’t know he was accepting it when they became friends, but it all started then.
his name was woo sangsoo, son of a rich business man that his father knew. he had been at the company for a simple visit when they met and yehyanngi’s father had insisted to introduce them to one another. and sangsoo was straight forward, smiling while shaking his hand and his voice letting out a bright “nice to meet you” to which yehyanngi replied to with a smile and a nod of his head, trying to pull back the hand in his own with no success. so he had to actually ask sangsoo to let go of his hand for the guy to let go.
the first meeting wasn’t so impressive, maybe that’s why yehyanngi gave it no further thought and just went on with his life.
even when later, sangsoo would drop by more than often and look for him, and when he found him he’d try to make him talk more about yehyanngi’s life, he would also try to make him go grab something to eat during his lunch break. basically, he invaded yehyanngi’s life so easily that soon enough, two months or so later, yehyanngi was starting to smile again, a warm smile that would appear on his face when he’d see sangsoo waiting for him after he was done working.
yehyanngi also started to laugh, to forget, to build back his heart, to live day by day instead of living just to live. he would walk with sangsoo to his apartment and feel light, little laughs leaving his throat and running in the chilling summer announcing autumn. yehyanngi forgot, but he didn’t forget juwon, or the love he had for juwon, he just forgot the pain and the promise to not love again.
although he buried it deep inside of him, it still crept up and lurched forward as soon as a bit of affection was shown, as soon as a bit of light lurked through his heart, it leaped and now yehyanngi is stuck with love again. this time, he realised it right before sangsoo realised it too. they were what you’d call best friends, and their fathers were glad to see them so close.
life couldn’t get better now could it?
yehyanngi realised he held a feeling stronger than friendship for sangsoo around the time when he found himself anticipated his visits, feeling dejected when he wouldn’t show up and fearing getting to his apartment because it meant they would part ways again. quite frankly, he didn’t like this feeling because it made him feel like he’d never experienced love before, it was different from with juwon. with juwon he didn’t know at first, with juwon everything was risky, with juwon it was exciting, new and dangerous.
sangsoo was just a normal guy, if not that he was richer than half of the normal guys in korea. and he wouldn’t get hurt, he wouldn’t get himself in dangerous situations, and this wasn’t new, it was soft and somehow bright, with a touch of a sun.
then there was that night, same as always, they’d walk get to yehyanngi’s apartment, but unlike usually sangsoo made them stop right before they could get to catch a glimpse of yehyanngi’s building. he put a hand on yehyanngi’s shoulder that made him startle and turn around, head tilted on the side, wondering why they were stopping and at the same time trying to free his shoulder from the touch of sangsoo’s gloved hands.
if he could get his heart to stop beating so much too, yehyanngi thought, he would be really, really grateful.
“can we-just-stay a bit longer-outside, wait before you go home,”
yehyanngi should have said no, put some barriers and gone to his lone apartment. he should have really, but his heart wouldn’t let him walk away and be disappointed, his breath wouldn’t let him voice a single word and his mind had been tucked and caged away by the drumming of his heartbeats against his chest, so all he did was nod and purse his lips, blinking at the smile that appeared on sangsoo’s face.
that night, it broke their routine, and with it, it brought their relationship a step further. instead of stopping at yehyanngi’s building, they walked until they didn’t know where they were, but it didn’t matter. they even passed by the café store where yehyanngi worked before, but he was looking up at sangsoo and didn’t notice the open light on its door, nor did he notice his former boss closing the door of the café and walking by them, whistling softly to himself. they were in their own world when they walked like that side to side, and yehyanngi liked that world. it was free of suffering and free of worries, he could even not feel guilty for not keeping his promise to himself.
that night, it was automatic, inevitable, they shared their first kiss. at the front door of the building of yehyanngi’s apartment. sangsoo leaned in, took him by surprise, a hand at the base of his neck and another one right around his body and pulled him for a lip lock that had him freezing before closing his eyes and trying to find a taste on sangsoo’s lips.
it wasn’t magic, and sparkles did not appear behind his closed eyelids, it was just a kiss that meant something and that lasted until yehyanngi gasped for air and pulled away, hands against sangsoo’s chest and he looked down, cheeks flushed and a silly grin on his face. it was a normal kiss, but damn did it feel special. and then he heard sangsoo’s soft laugh and felt a pressure against the top of his head before looking up, getting another kiss stolen, and another one on one of his red cheek, and the other cheek, and the tip of his nose the succession succeeded in making yehyanngi laugh softly and flush even deeper, but oh did it matter, sangsoo was already leaning in for another kiss, on the lips this time.
there was no trouble in paradise, because this was truly paradise in its true form for yehyanngi and sangsoo. they loved each other, they were happy when they forgot about the world. and seriously, yehyanngi should have learned about that part. forgetting, he keeps forgetting and building new dreams, new hopes, new love, when he should be giving up on those. he should have given up before he got in this too deep.
but he would have never thought that he would wake up one day because someone was knocking on his door and see sangsoo standing there with a resigned and pained expression on his face. four months, september, october, november and december, it waited four months until it reached december. why? yehyanngi never had the time to ponder on that question, eyes staring blankly at sangsoo’s eyes avoiding him and arms crossed over his chest to try and lessen the shattering sound his heart was making as it fell and broke.
why did it always have to happen right at the door of his apartment?
why was sangsoo telling him it wouldn’t work because he had to get engaged and he didn’t want to deceive his parents right in front of the door of his apartment? why did he have to cry and steal that privilege to yehyanngi, why did he have to look so heartbroken although it was yehyanngi’s heart breaking piece by piece in his chest and why, oh why did he even try to love again? it wasn’t fair, that it was happening at the door of his apartment once again. it wasn’t fair, that sangsoo was choosing his family over yehyanngi, it wasn’t fair, that love was breaking him once again, it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t even cry as he watched sangsoo leave in the hall and it wasn’t fair that yehyanngi had to close the door to yet another stolen happiness and slide on the wood of the door, trying to pick up the sound of his breaking sobs and the fluttering ashes of his heart.
it burned, it hurt, it broke, it shattered, whatever it did, it took yehyanngi’s breathe away and it made him want to hit until the pain would stop strangling his voice and cutting right through his ribs.
he hugged his knees and cried until he had no tears left.
sangsoo wasn’t lying, yehyanngi discovered a month later when he fell on an invitation card to the wedding of woo sangsoo and the name of the girl which he did not even read as he just tossed the card on the side, clutching the handle of his suitcase tightly and closing the door of his apartment.
yes he was running away, but it wasn’t like he was going to stay there and do nothing about this. he had to breathe in and breathe in some fresh air, something new that didn’t smell like betrayal, like an ironic déjà vu.
yehyanngi took a cab and told him to stop by the nearest cemetery, he had a soft smile on his face as he walked to a tombstone, and walked right to the one that had scripted n it the name of hwang juwon, he stopped only then and crouched, taking a single flower out of his pocket and placing it on the tombstone.
“my luck is bad,” yehyanngi whispered softly, a chilly breeze passed through his hair and bright strands of blonde hair invaded his sight. he looked up at the sky and sighed, frowning when he felt a single drop of a starting rain fall on his cheek, only then did he turn his back to the tombstone and walk back to the cab.
i wish i had to never forget once i forged my heart back, so that i could not lose it again,
tbc.
---
a/n:again, lemme know if u liked it :)
→ masterlist
→ say hi to me
→ ask me anything u want
→ koreanentertainement fest comm
→ 100 beast fic challenge
author: me
pairing: juwon/kimchi, woosang/kimchi, hoik/kimchi, aoora/kimchi,
rating: pg-13
genre: romance, angst
summary: it's all about being bruised until you finally find the eternal cure to build you another heart to love.
disclaimer: do not own the boys, just the story.
a/n: part two hehe, the order are coming, can u guess who's next? :p
|| part 1 ||
guide to find the perfect love; 2/4; woosang/kimchi
back to the beginning, now round two, try my luck with something new,
yehyanngi went on with his life, never forgot his first love, never forgot juwon, but had to live so he wouldn’t give up on himself. plus, life wouldn’t wait for him if he decided to let go, it would eat him up and he wasn’t ready to be eaten away by his life yet. juwon was gone, but he was here, and even if without juwon this world was too dull, worth nothing in his eyes, he could still go on and pretend that it’s worth it and sooner or later he was going to find something that would light his life again.
anything but love.
he turned eighteen on july 11th and finally finished high school and decided on what he wanted to do. he always dreamed of doing something like being a designer, or singer, or dancer, anything musical or art industry related. as long as it wasn’t something as boring as staying in an office and signing papers day and night like his father wanted him to do. he really did not fancy doing something like that. he’d feel like being in a bubble with papers flying everywhere and soon enough he knew he would lose his mind over all those signatures he would have to deal with.
and he knew that it wasn’t just signing papers but it also took a lot of mind to be able to own a company and not make it go bankrupt, but the papers and the closed office was what was unattractive in this job.
but, he needed money at the same time since he did not want his parents to give him some, he always liked being independent, reason why he took an apart for himself at seventeen years old. so having to go meet his father for an interview was probably not the best option, but the best one he had right now. he wanted money faster so he could pay for his music lessons and drawing lessons and his apartment at the same time, and the job at the café store reminded him too much of juwon, the salary wasn’t that much anyways.
it was with quite an amount of sorrow that he left that job and went under his father’s company, but he comforted himself with the thought that soon enough he would be able to get away from all of this, the city, his father, his family and live his dreams. and he went on with life, just like he should have.
when yehyanngi remembered the saying when you don’t ask for something it comes running at you, it was too late to take it as a warning when he met him. but who would have thought? because first of all, he was totally not yehyanngi’s type, he looked much younger although yehyanngi could bet he was much older. he was too enthusiastic, and somehow although he was like a bubble of joy before, yehyanngi liked the quiet types.
but when it comes to love, types and tastes, it doesn’t matter, it comes and forces itself on you and all he had to do was accept it. although he didn’t know he was accepting it when they became friends, but it all started then.
his name was woo sangsoo, son of a rich business man that his father knew. he had been at the company for a simple visit when they met and yehyanngi’s father had insisted to introduce them to one another. and sangsoo was straight forward, smiling while shaking his hand and his voice letting out a bright “nice to meet you” to which yehyanngi replied to with a smile and a nod of his head, trying to pull back the hand in his own with no success. so he had to actually ask sangsoo to let go of his hand for the guy to let go.
the first meeting wasn’t so impressive, maybe that’s why yehyanngi gave it no further thought and just went on with his life.
even when later, sangsoo would drop by more than often and look for him, and when he found him he’d try to make him talk more about yehyanngi’s life, he would also try to make him go grab something to eat during his lunch break. basically, he invaded yehyanngi’s life so easily that soon enough, two months or so later, yehyanngi was starting to smile again, a warm smile that would appear on his face when he’d see sangsoo waiting for him after he was done working.
yehyanngi also started to laugh, to forget, to build back his heart, to live day by day instead of living just to live. he would walk with sangsoo to his apartment and feel light, little laughs leaving his throat and running in the chilling summer announcing autumn. yehyanngi forgot, but he didn’t forget juwon, or the love he had for juwon, he just forgot the pain and the promise to not love again.
although he buried it deep inside of him, it still crept up and lurched forward as soon as a bit of affection was shown, as soon as a bit of light lurked through his heart, it leaped and now yehyanngi is stuck with love again. this time, he realised it right before sangsoo realised it too. they were what you’d call best friends, and their fathers were glad to see them so close.
life couldn’t get better now could it?
yehyanngi realised he held a feeling stronger than friendship for sangsoo around the time when he found himself anticipated his visits, feeling dejected when he wouldn’t show up and fearing getting to his apartment because it meant they would part ways again. quite frankly, he didn’t like this feeling because it made him feel like he’d never experienced love before, it was different from with juwon. with juwon he didn’t know at first, with juwon everything was risky, with juwon it was exciting, new and dangerous.
sangsoo was just a normal guy, if not that he was richer than half of the normal guys in korea. and he wouldn’t get hurt, he wouldn’t get himself in dangerous situations, and this wasn’t new, it was soft and somehow bright, with a touch of a sun.
then there was that night, same as always, they’d walk get to yehyanngi’s apartment, but unlike usually sangsoo made them stop right before they could get to catch a glimpse of yehyanngi’s building. he put a hand on yehyanngi’s shoulder that made him startle and turn around, head tilted on the side, wondering why they were stopping and at the same time trying to free his shoulder from the touch of sangsoo’s gloved hands.
if he could get his heart to stop beating so much too, yehyanngi thought, he would be really, really grateful.
“can we-just-stay a bit longer-outside, wait before you go home,”
yehyanngi should have said no, put some barriers and gone to his lone apartment. he should have really, but his heart wouldn’t let him walk away and be disappointed, his breath wouldn’t let him voice a single word and his mind had been tucked and caged away by the drumming of his heartbeats against his chest, so all he did was nod and purse his lips, blinking at the smile that appeared on sangsoo’s face.
that night, it broke their routine, and with it, it brought their relationship a step further. instead of stopping at yehyanngi’s building, they walked until they didn’t know where they were, but it didn’t matter. they even passed by the café store where yehyanngi worked before, but he was looking up at sangsoo and didn’t notice the open light on its door, nor did he notice his former boss closing the door of the café and walking by them, whistling softly to himself. they were in their own world when they walked like that side to side, and yehyanngi liked that world. it was free of suffering and free of worries, he could even not feel guilty for not keeping his promise to himself.
that night, it was automatic, inevitable, they shared their first kiss. at the front door of the building of yehyanngi’s apartment. sangsoo leaned in, took him by surprise, a hand at the base of his neck and another one right around his body and pulled him for a lip lock that had him freezing before closing his eyes and trying to find a taste on sangsoo’s lips.
it wasn’t magic, and sparkles did not appear behind his closed eyelids, it was just a kiss that meant something and that lasted until yehyanngi gasped for air and pulled away, hands against sangsoo’s chest and he looked down, cheeks flushed and a silly grin on his face. it was a normal kiss, but damn did it feel special. and then he heard sangsoo’s soft laugh and felt a pressure against the top of his head before looking up, getting another kiss stolen, and another one on one of his red cheek, and the other cheek, and the tip of his nose the succession succeeded in making yehyanngi laugh softly and flush even deeper, but oh did it matter, sangsoo was already leaning in for another kiss, on the lips this time.
there was no trouble in paradise, because this was truly paradise in its true form for yehyanngi and sangsoo. they loved each other, they were happy when they forgot about the world. and seriously, yehyanngi should have learned about that part. forgetting, he keeps forgetting and building new dreams, new hopes, new love, when he should be giving up on those. he should have given up before he got in this too deep.
but he would have never thought that he would wake up one day because someone was knocking on his door and see sangsoo standing there with a resigned and pained expression on his face. four months, september, october, november and december, it waited four months until it reached december. why? yehyanngi never had the time to ponder on that question, eyes staring blankly at sangsoo’s eyes avoiding him and arms crossed over his chest to try and lessen the shattering sound his heart was making as it fell and broke.
why did it always have to happen right at the door of his apartment?
why was sangsoo telling him it wouldn’t work because he had to get engaged and he didn’t want to deceive his parents right in front of the door of his apartment? why did he have to cry and steal that privilege to yehyanngi, why did he have to look so heartbroken although it was yehyanngi’s heart breaking piece by piece in his chest and why, oh why did he even try to love again? it wasn’t fair, that it was happening at the door of his apartment once again. it wasn’t fair, that sangsoo was choosing his family over yehyanngi, it wasn’t fair, that love was breaking him once again, it wasn’t fair that he couldn’t even cry as he watched sangsoo leave in the hall and it wasn’t fair that yehyanngi had to close the door to yet another stolen happiness and slide on the wood of the door, trying to pick up the sound of his breaking sobs and the fluttering ashes of his heart.
it burned, it hurt, it broke, it shattered, whatever it did, it took yehyanngi’s breathe away and it made him want to hit until the pain would stop strangling his voice and cutting right through his ribs.
he hugged his knees and cried until he had no tears left.
sangsoo wasn’t lying, yehyanngi discovered a month later when he fell on an invitation card to the wedding of woo sangsoo and the name of the girl which he did not even read as he just tossed the card on the side, clutching the handle of his suitcase tightly and closing the door of his apartment.
yes he was running away, but it wasn’t like he was going to stay there and do nothing about this. he had to breathe in and breathe in some fresh air, something new that didn’t smell like betrayal, like an ironic déjà vu.
yehyanngi took a cab and told him to stop by the nearest cemetery, he had a soft smile on his face as he walked to a tombstone, and walked right to the one that had scripted n it the name of hwang juwon, he stopped only then and crouched, taking a single flower out of his pocket and placing it on the tombstone.
“my luck is bad,” yehyanngi whispered softly, a chilly breeze passed through his hair and bright strands of blonde hair invaded his sight. he looked up at the sky and sighed, frowning when he felt a single drop of a starting rain fall on his cheek, only then did he turn his back to the tombstone and walk back to the cab.
i wish i had to never forget once i forged my heart back, so that i could not lose it again,
tbc.
---
a/n:again, lemme know if u liked it :)
→ masterlist
→ say hi to me
→ ask me anything u want
→ koreanentertainement fest comm
→ 100 beast fic challenge