I'VE GOT A DATE WITH THE NIGHT.
Ugh. Iffy night.
I'm sorry to everyone I've been a bitch to lately. It was not without cause, but I apologize only because I know I dislike it when people are pissy to me, with reason or not. I seem to be losing my generally personable, even tempered personality and I don't like it anymore than anyone else does.
I went to the bunker tonight. It felt really, REALLY weird. Not the good kind of weird. The kind of weird where nothing would feel wrong if you just showed up, but if you knew what things used to be like, it would feel wrong. Lots of things are getting out of hand and this summer is going in a different direction than I thought, in many aspects. But what can a girl do? Not shit. I think I'm going to take a break from all that for a while. I'll definitely hang with the bunker kids, but maybe one at a time, or only at Rett's parties..the bunker/dock nightly get togethers though, I think I'm going to distance from for a while. I need to get a lot of my own shit straight and get myself in check per se, as do a lot of other people. Thankfully I've realized such things and know I need to keep myself under control. [Now that you've all noticed I'm dancing around a bunch of incidents and/or situations that aren't for me to speak of. Nothing big though.] Rumors and gossip and silly arguments can't happen if I cease to be around for a while. I liked it when I was the new girl and even though I can't recreate that, I can at least not show for a while and thus figure out whether it's really what I or anyone else wants.
I need to do a few things for myself this summer. Like hang out with my friend Lilly when she visits. And see Alaina and Jenn and Amy and all the kids I've put on a bit of a hold and not meant to. And get a job so the money I spend can be worked for by me, not someone else. And maybe go out and ride again. And go to the beach with my aunt and cousins in July. And find my prince charming. And hopefully visit with my friend James from New York. And if it's in the cards, get to Ohio to see my brother and sister. And haul my ass to Charlotte to see Rana. :) Things like that.
We get the Focus back soon. I'm going to ask for a short time period in which I can still drive before we take me off the insurance and job hunt like a motherfucking psycho during that time. I love the 3000 but I do miss the little focus. And since I don't have 200 bucks to get a stereo for the Mitsubishi, I miss having a car with music, mainly.
I need a haircut [and color] desperately. Short and blonde for the summer yeah. Back to long and crazy colors for the school year. I feel like being a blonde this summer--not to fit a stereotype. Just because I miss being actual BLONDE.
Attitude adjustment, kiddo! I'm going to try to make the best of this summer. Dwelling on the past [at least at this moment in time] makes no sense and I'll save the depression for the school year when I'm already bummed about 6 hours a day in a desk. Or at least I'll try to. July 20th might make that difficult. Almost a year. It's insane.
In other news, I want to get something peirced. And I'm really tired so I think I'll go dream about stabbing another hole in my body to thread decorative metal through. Out.
I'm sorry to everyone I've been a bitch to lately. It was not without cause, but I apologize only because I know I dislike it when people are pissy to me, with reason or not. I seem to be losing my generally personable, even tempered personality and I don't like it anymore than anyone else does.
I went to the bunker tonight. It felt really, REALLY weird. Not the good kind of weird. The kind of weird where nothing would feel wrong if you just showed up, but if you knew what things used to be like, it would feel wrong. Lots of things are getting out of hand and this summer is going in a different direction than I thought, in many aspects. But what can a girl do? Not shit. I think I'm going to take a break from all that for a while. I'll definitely hang with the bunker kids, but maybe one at a time, or only at Rett's parties..the bunker/dock nightly get togethers though, I think I'm going to distance from for a while. I need to get a lot of my own shit straight and get myself in check per se, as do a lot of other people. Thankfully I've realized such things and know I need to keep myself under control. [Now that you've all noticed I'm dancing around a bunch of incidents and/or situations that aren't for me to speak of. Nothing big though.] Rumors and gossip and silly arguments can't happen if I cease to be around for a while. I liked it when I was the new girl and even though I can't recreate that, I can at least not show for a while and thus figure out whether it's really what I or anyone else wants.
I need to do a few things for myself this summer. Like hang out with my friend Lilly when she visits. And see Alaina and Jenn and Amy and all the kids I've put on a bit of a hold and not meant to. And get a job so the money I spend can be worked for by me, not someone else. And maybe go out and ride again. And go to the beach with my aunt and cousins in July. And find my prince charming. And hopefully visit with my friend James from New York. And if it's in the cards, get to Ohio to see my brother and sister. And haul my ass to Charlotte to see Rana. :) Things like that.
We get the Focus back soon. I'm going to ask for a short time period in which I can still drive before we take me off the insurance and job hunt like a motherfucking psycho during that time. I love the 3000 but I do miss the little focus. And since I don't have 200 bucks to get a stereo for the Mitsubishi, I miss having a car with music, mainly.
I need a haircut [and color] desperately. Short and blonde for the summer yeah. Back to long and crazy colors for the school year. I feel like being a blonde this summer--not to fit a stereotype. Just because I miss being actual BLONDE.
Attitude adjustment, kiddo! I'm going to try to make the best of this summer. Dwelling on the past [at least at this moment in time] makes no sense and I'll save the depression for the school year when I'm already bummed about 6 hours a day in a desk. Or at least I'll try to. July 20th might make that difficult. Almost a year. It's insane.
In other news, I want to get something peirced. And I'm really tired so I think I'll go dream about stabbing another hole in my body to thread decorative metal through. Out.