"I run with no pack and answer to no howl. I am a lone wolf. I wolf alone."
Oh TWoP recaps of True Blood, how are you possibly funnier than the actual episodes of True Blood? And the funny and weird and best thing is that they've evolved with my feelings about the show, like in s1 I read them because they beautifully dissected each episode and made them seem smarter than they probably actually were, which I dug because I genuinely liked the show back then. And now, when I like it in a "ROFL oh you silly fun little show"-kind of way, it's turned into this awesome recap-parody that is way better than any fanfic or review. Here are some quotes if you're too lazy to read the recaps themselves (they are pretty long):
Andy: "Sam! I have arrived to climb up your colon just like every episode!"
Sam: "I have finally had enough of this shit. I am not your new Jason Stackhouse. Get off the drugs, get off my jock, and go suck a bag of choads."
Andy: "Authority things!"
Sam: "I will Doberman your face off."
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Sammy: "Sookie Stackhouse, I can tell from the sparkle in your eyes that you're about to ask for time off, probably to deal with the incredible amount of shit you've got going on at all times. As my first act in my brother's body, you are fired."
Sookie: "Wait, being held accountable for my performance and/or behavior? That is such a foreign concept to me that I will literally overlook it for the rest of the episode."
Sammy: "Dear Audience, your concerns have been noted. Pandering and winking at you like this is something that, having reached the fourth season, all shows get comfortable doing. Soon, each episode will contain the following. One (1) reference to the ridiculous amount of creatures, storylines and characters. One (1) reference to what a fucking dork Bill is and has always been. And finally, one (1) reference to Sookie's total entitlement. Next season you can look forward to us making fun of each of Sam's past storylines, the prodigious amounts of rape this season, and possibly bringing back Michelle Forbes for just a split-second purely to make you shit your pants. You are welcome."
Sookie: "Great. Now that that's out of the way, can I have my job back?"
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Sookie: "Jason! I better find you before I get distracted and wander into some other storyline! I'm warning you, that is very likely!"
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Luna: "Sam! You know how in every scene I'm in, we either discuss my readiness to 'let you in' on a one-to-ten scale, or I flash my tits?"
Sammy: "...Who are you?"
Luna: "Well, I'm ready to let you in."
Sammy: "Hang on, I'm not actually..."
Luna: "...And these are my tits."
How is that guy not actually a writer for the show? He has the characters down to a tee! (Coincidentally, I just looked up the meaning of that phrase and it turns out the original version is "down to a tittle". There is no possible way I'm not saying that every time from now on.)
Anyway, you're either welcome for the epic lulz those quotes just gave you, or I'm sorry for wasting your time with quotes you've already read. Any other reaction to this post is simply not possible.
In personal news, it's been a really long, weird day. Got up at the crack of dawn (appearantly known to "normal" people as 10am) after a night of maybe 5-6 hours constantly interrupted sleep, went and got poked in the arm for my annual physical, came home, did some stuff and then crashed on the couch for 2½ hours. Still didn't feel rested when I woke up either, but naturally now that it's bedtime I feel totally fine and perky. Well, mostly, anyway.
Before I go, I'm feeling like my watchlist/friendslist could use some padding now that I'm poking around with LJ again. Any recs for comms or people to stalk?
Andy: "Sam! I have arrived to climb up your colon just like every episode!"
Sam: "I have finally had enough of this shit. I am not your new Jason Stackhouse. Get off the drugs, get off my jock, and go suck a bag of choads."
Andy: "Authority things!"
Sam: "I will Doberman your face off."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sammy: "Sookie Stackhouse, I can tell from the sparkle in your eyes that you're about to ask for time off, probably to deal with the incredible amount of shit you've got going on at all times. As my first act in my brother's body, you are fired."
Sookie: "Wait, being held accountable for my performance and/or behavior? That is such a foreign concept to me that I will literally overlook it for the rest of the episode."
Sammy: "Dear Audience, your concerns have been noted. Pandering and winking at you like this is something that, having reached the fourth season, all shows get comfortable doing. Soon, each episode will contain the following. One (1) reference to the ridiculous amount of creatures, storylines and characters. One (1) reference to what a fucking dork Bill is and has always been. And finally, one (1) reference to Sookie's total entitlement. Next season you can look forward to us making fun of each of Sam's past storylines, the prodigious amounts of rape this season, and possibly bringing back Michelle Forbes for just a split-second purely to make you shit your pants. You are welcome."
Sookie: "Great. Now that that's out of the way, can I have my job back?"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sookie: "Jason! I better find you before I get distracted and wander into some other storyline! I'm warning you, that is very likely!"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Luna: "Sam! You know how in every scene I'm in, we either discuss my readiness to 'let you in' on a one-to-ten scale, or I flash my tits?"
Sammy: "...Who are you?"
Luna: "Well, I'm ready to let you in."
Sammy: "Hang on, I'm not actually..."
Luna: "...And these are my tits."
How is that guy not actually a writer for the show? He has the characters down to a tee! (Coincidentally, I just looked up the meaning of that phrase and it turns out the original version is "down to a tittle". There is no possible way I'm not saying that every time from now on.)
Anyway, you're either welcome for the epic lulz those quotes just gave you, or I'm sorry for wasting your time with quotes you've already read. Any other reaction to this post is simply not possible.
In personal news, it's been a really long, weird day. Got up at the crack of dawn (appearantly known to "normal" people as 10am) after a night of maybe 5-6 hours constantly interrupted sleep, went and got poked in the arm for my annual physical, came home, did some stuff and then crashed on the couch for 2½ hours. Still didn't feel rested when I woke up either, but naturally now that it's bedtime I feel totally fine and perky. Well, mostly, anyway.
Before I go, I'm feeling like my watchlist/friendslist could use some padding now that I'm poking around with LJ again. Any recs for comms or people to stalk?