(no subject)
Ugh, so. Bad day, worse evening. I ended up reading the last Hunger Games book from cover to cover starting this afternoon and finishing around 10, and hooboy was it the wrong day for it... It's raging hormone-time AND I'm in the middle of a med change, but honestly, even without those things I still think I would have broken down and bawled my eyes out like I did. Whoever suggested it to me (or if I did): Thank you, but I DO NOT LIKE SAD THINGS. Seriously, I don't, I don't get why anyone would ever seek out sad stuff, other than if their tear ducts were like chronically clogged up and your doctor told you you had to cry or the clog would turn into a tumor that would kill you. In which case, I'm thinking you could probably cry without the aid of sad stories. So yeah, entire existance of sad stuff: I DON'T GET YOU.
Weirdly enough though, I think what I disliked the most about Mockingjay was the final pages, the semi-happy ending. Dunno why but it didn't feel particularly happy. Maybe it's just my own anti-kids and -marriage views coming out, IDK, I just found it utterly depressing. And so they lived happily ever after, aside from a whole buncha awesome people being dead and people in general being utter crap and history being doomed to repeat itself sooner or later. Maybe the really depressing part is that we have bad shit like that happening right now in several parts of the world, not exactly the Hunger Games but people being utter bastards and manipulative and political and gross. And it's been going on for centuries and will keep going long after we're all gone, and trying to stop it would be like trying to stop people from breathing because humans ARE utter bastards.
See, why would I ever need help getting sad when this is how my brain works all the time? And why doesn't everyone else think like this? And how can I be like that? I wish I could blame it on med change or hormones, but I really do have to push all these depressing thoughts down with a stick, constantly, and I just wish I knew how everyone went on with their lives as if everything in the world was sunshine and puppies and double rainbows so I could do it too.
Anyway, way past bedtime. Sorry if you read any of this rambly depressing crap, but since most people seem to be immune to it's effects hopefully you'll be fine if you did.
Weirdly enough though, I think what I disliked the most about Mockingjay was the final pages, the semi-happy ending. Dunno why but it didn't feel particularly happy. Maybe it's just my own anti-kids and -marriage views coming out, IDK, I just found it utterly depressing. And so they lived happily ever after, aside from a whole buncha awesome people being dead and people in general being utter crap and history being doomed to repeat itself sooner or later. Maybe the really depressing part is that we have bad shit like that happening right now in several parts of the world, not exactly the Hunger Games but people being utter bastards and manipulative and political and gross. And it's been going on for centuries and will keep going long after we're all gone, and trying to stop it would be like trying to stop people from breathing because humans ARE utter bastards.
See, why would I ever need help getting sad when this is how my brain works all the time? And why doesn't everyone else think like this? And how can I be like that? I wish I could blame it on med change or hormones, but I really do have to push all these depressing thoughts down with a stick, constantly, and I just wish I knew how everyone went on with their lives as if everything in the world was sunshine and puppies and double rainbows so I could do it too.
Anyway, way past bedtime. Sorry if you read any of this rambly depressing crap, but since most people seem to be immune to it's effects hopefully you'll be fine if you did.