(no subject)
And life goes on...
As we all gathered in the car, all dressed in black I held my purse close with the stuffed tissues for safe keeping. They were the only things that were going to keep me looking somewhat sane. When Mike, Whitney, Michelle and I got to the church I felt so weak and frail that I regretted my emotional personality. Micheal held it in so well that I needed him there by my side. The inside of the church made me feel safe but I needed to find Dr. Kendall to be reassured. Michelle and I walked down the isle to his casket and I gasped in the face of reality. The face of Andrew..all made up and presentable for all of us that grieved over him. I waited for him to wake up because I swear that chest was inhaling the aura of agony that surrounded him. I choked with horror as I stood over the realization that Andrew Killed himself. No more Andrew to debate with and to learn from. No more Andrew to wonder about, and hear laugh. No more Andrew to make Abbey's day. No more Andrew... And as Dr. Brown spoke his common speech, I felt upset because he hammered Andrew's decision. He held his tone down to Andrew's throat and belched out how sinful he was, and how sinful we all are. I closed my eyes and wished to be far away. For he had reason and I can agree that it was the best way to go in the circumstance of suicide. I hope that he found what he was looking for. He's with God, no matter what anyone says. He is with God. He had the soul of gold. Even those bricks couldn't weigh him down. And when I hugged Dr. Kendall, I couldn't let go. She whispered something in my ear that I won't ever forget. My Angel dressed in black with blonde blonde hair. Even in such dark, she shined like the sun.
If only that sun was the shadow in my life.
As we all gathered in the car, all dressed in black I held my purse close with the stuffed tissues for safe keeping. They were the only things that were going to keep me looking somewhat sane. When Mike, Whitney, Michelle and I got to the church I felt so weak and frail that I regretted my emotional personality. Micheal held it in so well that I needed him there by my side. The inside of the church made me feel safe but I needed to find Dr. Kendall to be reassured. Michelle and I walked down the isle to his casket and I gasped in the face of reality. The face of Andrew..all made up and presentable for all of us that grieved over him. I waited for him to wake up because I swear that chest was inhaling the aura of agony that surrounded him. I choked with horror as I stood over the realization that Andrew Killed himself. No more Andrew to debate with and to learn from. No more Andrew to wonder about, and hear laugh. No more Andrew to make Abbey's day. No more Andrew... And as Dr. Brown spoke his common speech, I felt upset because he hammered Andrew's decision. He held his tone down to Andrew's throat and belched out how sinful he was, and how sinful we all are. I closed my eyes and wished to be far away. For he had reason and I can agree that it was the best way to go in the circumstance of suicide. I hope that he found what he was looking for. He's with God, no matter what anyone says. He is with God. He had the soul of gold. Even those bricks couldn't weigh him down. And when I hugged Dr. Kendall, I couldn't let go. She whispered something in my ear that I won't ever forget. My Angel dressed in black with blonde blonde hair. Even in such dark, she shined like the sun.
If only that sun was the shadow in my life.