School 3 (notes about 03.27.2009)
Louise Hay Wisdom deck - Loving myself and thinking joyful, happy thoughts is the quickest way to create a wonderful life.
That is a fact.
Doreen Virtue Goddess deck - Pele
I haven't pulled her before, so here's what the book says:
Divine Passion
"Be honest with yourself:
What is your heart's true desire?"
MESSAGE FROM PELE: "If you listen to the sound of
your heart and breath, you'll recognize the ancient
rhythms of your own internal drumming. This forever
connects you to the Mother of all creation, and to the
sound of the planet Earth. These rhythms can't be
faked or forged; they're natural and eternal. What
part of you are you trying to ignore? What part of you
has been overly concerned with pleasing others, to
the detriment of hearing the sounds of your own
rhythm? Dear child, reach out and extend your arms
to embrace your dreams. They're as much a part of
nature as are the trees, animals, and sunsets. Don't
your own dreams deserve the same respect that you
accord everyone and everything you love? Listen to
them, my child. Listen to your dreams. They'll activate
the powerful eruption of passion in your life. Don't be
afraid of your own passion, for it will propel you naturally
and will excite and invigorate you. When you dance to
the rhythms of your life, you're truly alive in all ways!
VARIOUS MEANINGS OF THIS CARD: Make sure
your career matches your true interests. Take a class
or start a hobby that really excites you. Change jobs.
Go on a wonderful trip. Invest time and money in
manifesting your dreams. Give yourself permission
to go for it. Start a new business. Make an honest
assessment of how you spend your time. List your
priorities.
ABOUT PELE: The Hawaiian goddes of volcanoes,
Pele's dynamic strength is sometimes misunderstood.
She shows us that fire can purify, release us from the
old to make way for the new, and ignite our passions.
Without fire, nothing would change. Call upon Pele to
help you get in touch with your true passion, and to
charge up your motivation and excitement. Pele will
help you feel everything on a deeper level, so be
unafraid of taking action to manifest your heart's desires.
Evidently, I've been communing with Pele without knowing it! Actually, this really fit in that this was the day where I stepped out of being shy about what I want to study and became comfortable owning it, because there is a real audience for this here. It's a wonderful feeling to be splash in the passion pool with complete strangers. Ah, yes!
Wheeeeeeeeee!
So, yesterday was fantastic! I got plenty of sleep, and am very proud to say that, so far, my choices about time allocation have done a fine job of managing the resource that is my brain. That's good because yesterday was very content-rich! So, here it goes in chronological order...
I met with Bobby (IBA program director) at 8 to talk about the schedule. In deference to my brain, Green Tara, or both, I'd asked for help making sure I didn't miss what was critical. The schedule format (48 pages) is such that I went into visual overload and could not easily pick out specific items. As we were walking through what was critical, we chatted about other things, including what we will cover in Monday morning's meeting regarding meta-planning my trajectory here. There was still some stuff up in the air regarding whether I would remain in IBA or switch to Healt Arts & Sciences after the Assessment of Prior Learning (APL) process.
The conversation was validating in that he seemed to get the gist of what I want to study, some of the structural considerations in terms of professional credibility, etc., and he gave me encouraging feedback regarding how I am thinking about the work, the content, my program of study, etc. He expressed an interest in keeping me in IBA. I agreed that it's a better fit for my undergrad completion, but expressed concern regarding whether or not I would end up losing the value of my previous education--literally, the cash value--by having to take more semesters here if I didn't go for direct transfer credits. He suggested that I meet with AL to talk about the options (she runs the APL process). I ran into her in the cafeteria and we agreed to meet at 10.
Went up to registration and was impressed to have it take a total of three minutes from when I walked in the door! Putzed around until it was time to meet AL. That meeting was incredible!
AL asked me lots of questions about what I am studying, what I've done before, etc. She was making two maps as a result: one of my trajectory here, from completing my BA through the Master's program and one of how my previous experience might translate into credits here. Goddess she's sharp! At the end, she had wonderful news for me: there is little question but that I'll be awarded the maximum number of APL credits (45, which is three semesters); both degree programs require that you do semesters 6-8 at Goddard; APL will reveal that I have satisfied all gen. ed. requirements, which means that I get to study exactly what I came to study, with no arbitrary coursework requried (yay!); etc. She also said, "I never do this, but given how well-formed your concept is, and how you think, and where you want to go with it, I think you should stay IBA. You'll get more out of it." Music to my ears! And, no matter what, it means that I'll graduate after the Spring semester in 2011! Wow! That's not bad!
Since my long term desire includes both anthropology and psychology, I'd prefer to focus my undergrad in the former, since my Master's program will be in counseling psychology. That will position me well for future project funders, and prepare me for the broadest options when it comes time to think about a terminal degree.
It was also really nice to hear from both of them a lot of validation about my study concept and where I want to take it. So far, that's been the universal response, and while some of it may be generic (and sincere) encouragement that every student should expect to receive, it's seemed to go beyond that. Some folks look frankly gob-smacked. Bobby said something along the lines of, "The degree of complexity and insight in your vision is quite impressive." His expression indicated that he was saying that as a human. It feels tremendous to have other people seeing value in what's been a mostly private thought process for more than a decade. I've been a bit shy about giving voice to the whole thing and it's nice to have my nascent academic self to heartily received.
On the heels of these wonderful experiences, I headed into a class about how to create study plans. The study plan is a student-created syllabus for the semester. It has to meet certain criteria, including detailed descriptions of which academic disciplines will be involved, what the activities associated with them will be, and a bibliography. We must demonstrate and defend the relevance of the choices, and prepare five packets throughout the semester that include multiple kinds of content. We're not allowed to simply write a literature review. It has to include a strong component of reflection. What do we know and how do we know it? If we cite someone else's work, how did we select them? How do we know they're right/wrong/etc.? Are there dissenting voices? Do they have any merit? What do we think?
The style of education is old and is, to my mind, incredibly valuable. It's labor intensive for students and faculty alike and, I think, it's really only feasible in a program styled like this one is. Who would have time in a normal academic setting? That said, it's not a good place for someone who just wants to get through to a degree, it's a place for people with a burning desire to explore something deeply because that passion is what will get them through the structural challenges. I'm feeling an effervescent sense of wonder at being immersed amid the company of a college full of students who bring and convey that much focused energy! It's a bit giddy-making. Committed, engaged, students and faculty exist! The demographics of the student body are diverse, as are those of the faculty. Is it time to pinch myself yet?
Back to the study plan.
I've had some nervousness about this, not because I don't know what I want to accomplish this semester because I do. My discomfort stemmed from the need to fit my thinking into the format of the study plan documentation. That kind of translation is not my strong suit and can, in fact, render me paralyzed. K, the professor, asked for volunteers to have their study plan ideas mapped for the sake of example. I waited. No one raised a hand, so I did! HA! What followed was a rich interviewing process that resulted in a rough draft of my plan being completed! In addition, the process generated some additional new ideas in the moment! AND my classmates weighed in with some ideas, as well, like a wonderful book suggestion for my bibliography. HA! I totally scored!
And I didn't shrink back or be afraid of taking up too much space. I basked in being helped, repaying the attention by digging deep to respond thoughtfully and with solid content. Hoo dogey! That was a pure revelation.
I'll bet you think that's the end of the amazing day. It is not.
The final session yesterday was about academic integrity. It was engaging and fun, but I noticed a groupthink humor emerging that bothered me. It was that smug liberal condescension that is every bit as off-putting as the false jingoism of Rush & Co. Finally, when the professor started of an analogy making smug fun of the questionable legitimacy of a "Harvard professor" as a source of information v. a first person account, I had to interrupt her. I said, "That sounds pretty bigoted to me." She stopped dead in her tracks and asked me what I meant. I said, "Well, I know plenty of academic researchers who engage sincerely and with a rigorous degree of scholarship with the intention of creating work that serves. I don't see how creating a mocking stereotype of someone who has a lot of privilege is any less bigoted than mocking a stereotype of someone who has very little privilege." She paused and said, "You're right. It's not, and I thank you."
Now, here's what I think: I think that teaching is a bit like performance and that it can be ungrounding if one isn't careful, that it can be easy to get swept up in the high happy feeling in a group. I'm also amazed that I spoke out in such a challenging way in that setting! Holy cats! I think the reason I did was that the subject was academic integrity, and I know that her work is almost exclusively about oppression culture, etc. So, it was specifically ugly on her lips.
Finally, last night I went to the coop to buy some milk. On the way back I saw the moon! As if it weren't amazing enough that we started our program on the New Moon, last night a gorgeous sliver of a crescent was visible, resting at the very bottom of the moon's silhouette! Gorgeous. The words that leapt to mind were "cradle moon". A lovely image for baby students, like me and my cohort.
My camera wasn't able to register the moon and so I used water color pencils to try and capture the evidence of the Cradle Moon over Plainfield, VT on March 27, 2009.
That, my friends, completes this telling of beauty and wonder. Thanks for taking a ride on the Navel Gazer Limited!
-Dot
Copyright 2009 Dot's Stuff. All rights reserved. I'll share the moon.