something is wrong
something is worng .. and i'll figure it out .. :(
i should be happy that i'll be around family ....people i hav'nt seen in so long or get to hangout with ever.. and i still dont feel good or right , suck s.
it will be ok .
i have to attempt to find something decent to wear for two day s around family . and i have nothing . i haven't had anythign for awhile .. i wear the same clothes from 2-4 years ago. and i cant buy anything . so i keep dealing . i start work monday maybe i can take xanex (zan-ex) and make myself kinda normal and not all over the place and canabalizing my own skin and work in a daze and just see what happens ..
i dont even know if i should be finding a place to live cause everythign is on eggshells it seems . so i deal. i wiat. and well i'll see what my uncle says . and i will get my $ from the asshole and pay half my sell bill cause its so high, and send my first check to my brother . and start saving for rent from there , if my uncle or someone helps for the first month i should be ok . and if things end up that i'm living alone then i have to work full time and any side jobs and not go out at all for awhile , maybe just make my place hommie . and if i dotn live alone then my part time job is great till i pick up a new editing job that will make me happy and back on track . things to llook forward towards .. but not today . mayeb tomorrow on easter sunday i'll be happy , for jesus died and rose for us and make i can make it my rise as well and a new start fresh day . i have a feeling i'm going to start crying at church tonight . i dont want to go to hell.. am i a sin? well i'll repent and ask for forgiveness and hope he will take me as i am and help me on my path to strenthen my weaknesses and downfalls .
what happen to me ? what happen to the mean ing of happiness , trust , respect, and forgiveness? i'll see in tonight .
Live in Love .
i should be happy that i'll be around family ....people i hav'nt seen in so long or get to hangout with ever.. and i still dont feel good or right , suck s.
it will be ok .
i have to attempt to find something decent to wear for two day s around family . and i have nothing . i haven't had anythign for awhile .. i wear the same clothes from 2-4 years ago. and i cant buy anything . so i keep dealing . i start work monday maybe i can take xanex (zan-ex) and make myself kinda normal and not all over the place and canabalizing my own skin and work in a daze and just see what happens ..
i dont even know if i should be finding a place to live cause everythign is on eggshells it seems . so i deal. i wiat. and well i'll see what my uncle says . and i will get my $ from the asshole and pay half my sell bill cause its so high, and send my first check to my brother . and start saving for rent from there , if my uncle or someone helps for the first month i should be ok . and if things end up that i'm living alone then i have to work full time and any side jobs and not go out at all for awhile , maybe just make my place hommie . and if i dotn live alone then my part time job is great till i pick up a new editing job that will make me happy and back on track . things to llook forward towards .. but not today . mayeb tomorrow on easter sunday i'll be happy , for jesus died and rose for us and make i can make it my rise as well and a new start fresh day . i have a feeling i'm going to start crying at church tonight . i dont want to go to hell.. am i a sin? well i'll repent and ask for forgiveness and hope he will take me as i am and help me on my path to strenthen my weaknesses and downfalls .
what happen to me ? what happen to the mean ing of happiness , trust , respect, and forgiveness? i'll see in tonight .
Live in Love .