????? DECSION!!
she wants me to make a decsion . a choice of my life of that matter . what am i sopposed to say .. ? yes i do love you , yes i do want u in my life . but thats not enough .
like u want this to be my last chance to have a life without u in it and u know thats not what
i want but its my last chance to be like ok m,aybe i should do this on my own maybe
i do need ultamite space , time , freedom ... i dont think its what i want mayeb what i need .
but i'm totally stumpted like no way have a anwser , no way can make a right choice i'm bound
to fuck up somewhere , .. somehow hurting u ethier way? hurting me ... yeah that too. i mean i
know what it fels liek when i dont have u in my life and i dont want that to happen ..Part of whats keeping me going is knowing your coming to me...
but its like u want me to promise that things will always work out and that we will be together forever
and that life will be continulsly great . i cant promise that , i cant even come close to predicting
the fucture .. damn i cant spell right now . i love her , i want her ... i always make mistakes .
I should just let her go .. let her life the life she knows . i'd be trouble , i'd be the one who she would blame .. i'm so afriad . I could do this alone I know , and so could she. i could be ok after awhile . but i want my baby , but am i hurting us?
i understand this is my chance to start over .. chance to make things ok for me agian . why to i have to let u go ? why do i have to promise i wont fuck up or u wont fuck up or we might not work out or we might work out fucking great we might be perfect things could be better and different i could make you happy and smile and mean it i could show u a life no one else could and treat u better than no other human would .. i knwo that i would love u and care about u ad take care of you and make sure everything works out for u anxd make your first moving out experinse awesome and filled with joy and pain at times but good ways to show u growing up . i could be that person if u let me . i could help u with sschool and make u go and like it a bit , i could help u with job applactions anf balanncing money , i could watch u smoke the best shit u ever had , and actually take fucking walks by the beach and ride bikes and sit at cafes and play on our stupid laptops and walk around and hold hands and find a new club to take over .. now why would i want to throw all that away . ? .. why would i want to go through things without u , u are part of my insignifacint dot world !!
but if you want , and i/we decieded for best, i could be ok trying to go on with life without u and do my own thing and do the best i can , heartlesss i would and wish u the best and hope for the best .. could be very good for me , mayeb the smartest less stressful but lonley and heartbroken thing i could do . . and i wouldn't ask u to wait for me just know that i would always love u always think about u , and i'd always be here .. for u .
i'm always thinking sweetie and my heart is confused and hurts . i dont want to feel lost forever and i dont want u to ethier !
sometimes in life (and love) u just have to take a chance ..............
(otherwise u could be living your whole life like a fool )
and i'd rather end up a fool that tried, rather than i fool that never tried
like u want this to be my last chance to have a life without u in it and u know thats not what
i want but its my last chance to be like ok m,aybe i should do this on my own maybe
i do need ultamite space , time , freedom ... i dont think its what i want mayeb what i need .
but i'm totally stumpted like no way have a anwser , no way can make a right choice i'm bound
to fuck up somewhere , .. somehow hurting u ethier way? hurting me ... yeah that too. i mean i
know what it fels liek when i dont have u in my life and i dont want that to happen ..Part of whats keeping me going is knowing your coming to me...
but its like u want me to promise that things will always work out and that we will be together forever
and that life will be continulsly great . i cant promise that , i cant even come close to predicting
the fucture .. damn i cant spell right now . i love her , i want her ... i always make mistakes .
I should just let her go .. let her life the life she knows . i'd be trouble , i'd be the one who she would blame .. i'm so afriad . I could do this alone I know , and so could she. i could be ok after awhile . but i want my baby , but am i hurting us?
i understand this is my chance to start over .. chance to make things ok for me agian . why to i have to let u go ? why do i have to promise i wont fuck up or u wont fuck up or we might not work out or we might work out fucking great we might be perfect things could be better and different i could make you happy and smile and mean it i could show u a life no one else could and treat u better than no other human would .. i knwo that i would love u and care about u ad take care of you and make sure everything works out for u anxd make your first moving out experinse awesome and filled with joy and pain at times but good ways to show u growing up . i could be that person if u let me . i could help u with sschool and make u go and like it a bit , i could help u with job applactions anf balanncing money , i could watch u smoke the best shit u ever had , and actually take fucking walks by the beach and ride bikes and sit at cafes and play on our stupid laptops and walk around and hold hands and find a new club to take over .. now why would i want to throw all that away . ? .. why would i want to go through things without u , u are part of my insignifacint dot world !!
but if you want , and i/we decieded for best, i could be ok trying to go on with life without u and do my own thing and do the best i can , heartlesss i would and wish u the best and hope for the best .. could be very good for me , mayeb the smartest less stressful but lonley and heartbroken thing i could do . . and i wouldn't ask u to wait for me just know that i would always love u always think about u , and i'd always be here .. for u .
i'm always thinking sweetie and my heart is confused and hurts . i dont want to feel lost forever and i dont want u to ethier !
sometimes in life (and love) u just have to take a chance ..............
(otherwise u could be living your whole life like a fool )
and i'd rather end up a fool that tried, rather than i fool that never tried