...alone in santa cruz...
Did I ever tell you that I really love you and I think about you all day?
I really miss you and wish I could kiss you, but why are you so far away?
Since you've been gone, I've thought over and over about you inside my head
and where I went wrong, where I went wrong.
Every day, I've been thinking a lot about all of the things you'd say since I went away, since I went away...
I guess I could call you and ask you "How are you?" but I really don't have much to say...
I sit all alone and I stare at the phone and I hope that you're doing ok.
So... the past year almost has been so turmoil and drama filled. I was reading back at all my old livejournal entries and about how happy I was before all of this, and now I am sitting here contemplating what happened with my life. Where did that happiness go? I am happy now, but I am still wondering about myself, and my life and what happened... what changed.
I think I need to get away sometimes. I just came out of a relationship... and honestly I don't know what to think of it. I mean it's only been about a week and now I am hearing rumors she already is moving towards someone else, which wouldn't bother me if I didn't try so hard to put that reputation out of my head. Everybody told me that she was like this, but I didn't want to believe it. It makes me wonder if when she said she loved me, she meant she loved me... or the idea of being with someone. It really just sucks I guess.
I am thinking of heading down to Seaside or something eventually... just to kinda sit down and rethink my life up to now. I mean it's been so different, writing about how much I was waiting for Warped Tour last year, with all the people I never see anymore, to going to... whatever I do from day to day, almost like I stopped looking foward to the future.
I guess in the end everything always works out. One of my old friends once told me "If it's not okay, then it's not the end, so keep looking foward to a better tomorrow, because once you hit rock bottom you can only go up."
My friends are fucking awesome. Everybody else can fuck off and die.
I really miss you and wish I could kiss you, but why are you so far away?
Since you've been gone, I've thought over and over about you inside my head
and where I went wrong, where I went wrong.
Every day, I've been thinking a lot about all of the things you'd say since I went away, since I went away...
I guess I could call you and ask you "How are you?" but I really don't have much to say...
I sit all alone and I stare at the phone and I hope that you're doing ok.
So... the past year almost has been so turmoil and drama filled. I was reading back at all my old livejournal entries and about how happy I was before all of this, and now I am sitting here contemplating what happened with my life. Where did that happiness go? I am happy now, but I am still wondering about myself, and my life and what happened... what changed.
I think I need to get away sometimes. I just came out of a relationship... and honestly I don't know what to think of it. I mean it's only been about a week and now I am hearing rumors she already is moving towards someone else, which wouldn't bother me if I didn't try so hard to put that reputation out of my head. Everybody told me that she was like this, but I didn't want to believe it. It makes me wonder if when she said she loved me, she meant she loved me... or the idea of being with someone. It really just sucks I guess.
I am thinking of heading down to Seaside or something eventually... just to kinda sit down and rethink my life up to now. I mean it's been so different, writing about how much I was waiting for Warped Tour last year, with all the people I never see anymore, to going to... whatever I do from day to day, almost like I stopped looking foward to the future.
I guess in the end everything always works out. One of my old friends once told me "If it's not okay, then it's not the end, so keep looking foward to a better tomorrow, because once you hit rock bottom you can only go up."
My friends are fucking awesome. Everybody else can fuck off and die.