(no subject)
Bleh.
So this weekend I was SUPPOSE to visit my Mother for her birthday party in New York.
I send Billina off to Anthony's for the weekend, pack my stuff, and wake up at 5 am and drive over to the Bob Hope airport. ...only to learn that the weather in New York SUCKS BALLS and ALL flights to New York City have been CANCELED! Including Mine! BOOOO!!!
So I called my Mom, told her I'd ship her birthday present over. Told her to come out here soon, and picked up Billina from Anthony's.
I'm WAY broke because I spent most of my money with the philosophy of "Hey! Mom always pays for stuff when I'm visiting here!"
So I call up work figuring that Shannon can maybe give me someone's party to work on Sunday. To my surprise Shannon says "can you come in today? We have a reptile show and no one could do it but my parents".
I happily come over and do what I learn is an INDIANA FUCKIN' JONES birthday party. This was ALMOST as good as the Ren and Stimpy birthday party I did last month.
So I made a bit of money and Elaine gave me an extra ten bucks saying that it's hard for her and Virgil to do parties because they have to leave Virgil's Mom alone who has Alzheimers. I personally think I was doing THEM a favor, because I sort of dread how Virgil might do a reptile party.
In sad, yet happy news. Everyone's favorite doxie Chester the Molester has gone home finally.
In retrospect Chester reminds me of a This American Life Story about Nubbins, a defective version of an over-priced Lee Middleton doll sold at FAO Schwartz. The narrator tells the story of how the doll is mocked and abused with her and her fellow co-workers, but by the time the defective red-headed doll is sold. (over a perfectly manufactured black baby doll) Nubbins has come to grow on her.
Much like that song Eddie's Teddy from Rocky Horror, from the day he was born, he was trouble. Chester was literally born crying. When he was a little baby he'd sit in his whelping box going "BRAAAAW!!! BRAWWW!!! BRAWWWWW!". Shannon once panicked because she noticed his throat was swollen and realized that it was only swelled up because he'd been crying so much. I don't know if it's possible for puppies to get colic, but Chester made an argument for this case.
All our doxies are red, but Chester had a splash of white on his chest, which lead to Christina to christen him "Chester" which evolved into his more crueler nick-name. Christina said it the best. She'd run into work and see him and happily go "CHESTA! CHESTA THE MOLESTA!!!"
Even in his adolescence Chester still cried. Me and Beth did a Puppies and Reptiles show for the Victorville carnival and Beth suggested that we let Chester ride in the front seat on the way home.
Chester cried for about 30 minutes straight and finally went quiet. We looked down to see him passed out in Beth's lap.
"OH NO!" Beth had said "He cried himself to sleep!"
Chester's crying quickly evolved from slightly graiting to a form of entertainment for me to pass the day with. I'd put The Smiths "William, it was really nothing" on in my car and listen to him cry along to it. I'd happily go up to him and say "Chester! ONETWOTHREECRY! ONETWOTHREECRY!". Beth liked to insist I was egging him on, but I think he would have cried regardless of if Morrisey was singing about or not.
We will never be sure why Chester cried so much. My theory was that Chester's giant balls chaffed him.
I came into work today to learn that he was going home. I went into the house where Chester was waiting with a perplexed look on his face. I petted him and told him I loved him and went back to pack up my reptiles.
Chester gave a sad little wail as I walked away.
As I finished packing up my reptiles for my party, Chesters new family arrived. A Mom, a Dad and two little ginger boys.
One of the boys was happily holding Chester as I wheeled my cart out to my car. I petted Chester's head. "Look!" I told the kid. "You and him have the same hair color!"
I learned later when I got back to work that the Dad had happily taken to calling Chester "Chester the Magnificent!"
Here's to a new happy life Chester. You were dearly loved and it makes me glad to know that you'll continue to be loved.
So this weekend I was SUPPOSE to visit my Mother for her birthday party in New York.
I send Billina off to Anthony's for the weekend, pack my stuff, and wake up at 5 am and drive over to the Bob Hope airport. ...only to learn that the weather in New York SUCKS BALLS and ALL flights to New York City have been CANCELED! Including Mine! BOOOO!!!
So I called my Mom, told her I'd ship her birthday present over. Told her to come out here soon, and picked up Billina from Anthony's.
I'm WAY broke because I spent most of my money with the philosophy of "Hey! Mom always pays for stuff when I'm visiting here!"
So I call up work figuring that Shannon can maybe give me someone's party to work on Sunday. To my surprise Shannon says "can you come in today? We have a reptile show and no one could do it but my parents".
I happily come over and do what I learn is an INDIANA FUCKIN' JONES birthday party. This was ALMOST as good as the Ren and Stimpy birthday party I did last month.
So I made a bit of money and Elaine gave me an extra ten bucks saying that it's hard for her and Virgil to do parties because they have to leave Virgil's Mom alone who has Alzheimers. I personally think I was doing THEM a favor, because I sort of dread how Virgil might do a reptile party.
In sad, yet happy news. Everyone's favorite doxie Chester the Molester has gone home finally.
In retrospect Chester reminds me of a This American Life Story about Nubbins, a defective version of an over-priced Lee Middleton doll sold at FAO Schwartz. The narrator tells the story of how the doll is mocked and abused with her and her fellow co-workers, but by the time the defective red-headed doll is sold. (over a perfectly manufactured black baby doll) Nubbins has come to grow on her.
Much like that song Eddie's Teddy from Rocky Horror, from the day he was born, he was trouble. Chester was literally born crying. When he was a little baby he'd sit in his whelping box going "BRAAAAW!!! BRAWWW!!! BRAWWWWW!". Shannon once panicked because she noticed his throat was swollen and realized that it was only swelled up because he'd been crying so much. I don't know if it's possible for puppies to get colic, but Chester made an argument for this case.
All our doxies are red, but Chester had a splash of white on his chest, which lead to Christina to christen him "Chester" which evolved into his more crueler nick-name. Christina said it the best. She'd run into work and see him and happily go "CHESTA! CHESTA THE MOLESTA!!!"
Even in his adolescence Chester still cried. Me and Beth did a Puppies and Reptiles show for the Victorville carnival and Beth suggested that we let Chester ride in the front seat on the way home.
Chester cried for about 30 minutes straight and finally went quiet. We looked down to see him passed out in Beth's lap.
"OH NO!" Beth had said "He cried himself to sleep!"
Chester's crying quickly evolved from slightly graiting to a form of entertainment for me to pass the day with. I'd put The Smiths "William, it was really nothing" on in my car and listen to him cry along to it. I'd happily go up to him and say "Chester! ONETWOTHREECRY! ONETWOTHREECRY!". Beth liked to insist I was egging him on, but I think he would have cried regardless of if Morrisey was singing about or not.
We will never be sure why Chester cried so much. My theory was that Chester's giant balls chaffed him.
I came into work today to learn that he was going home. I went into the house where Chester was waiting with a perplexed look on his face. I petted him and told him I loved him and went back to pack up my reptiles.
Chester gave a sad little wail as I walked away.
As I finished packing up my reptiles for my party, Chesters new family arrived. A Mom, a Dad and two little ginger boys.
One of the boys was happily holding Chester as I wheeled my cart out to my car. I petted Chester's head. "Look!" I told the kid. "You and him have the same hair color!"
I learned later when I got back to work that the Dad had happily taken to calling Chester "Chester the Magnificent!"
Here's to a new happy life Chester. You were dearly loved and it makes me glad to know that you'll continue to be loved.