(no subject)
[mood | 
fuckyourmom]
[music | Clutch ♥ "Big News 1"]
Cut for angst that's been building for weeks.
It's like I'm standing still and things are changing sofuckingfast all around me. All these huge (good and bad) things are happening to change my life, and it's like I'm standing on the other side of the glass watching it all go by. A few months ago, the solution to this would be a quick fix, an instant red-and-maybe-permanent reminder that I'm still alive. But now I'm back in therapy and things are supposed to be getting better, but I'm just getting more numb and uninspired by the second.
I'm having to do a lot of growing up real fast, and everyone else seems to be growing up in fast-forward, too. I don't like it. I'm realizing more and more that I will never be able to depend on the people that I am supposed to lean on for support and authority. This house will collapse when I move out. I am all that's holding it togther right now.
Last night was the first real conversation I've had with anyone in fuck knows how long. Either there's going to be a huge fallout with my main circle of friends, or we'll hold off till summer and use those months to cool down. Either way, I'm scared as hell.
I am really embracing the hippy lifestyle with the warmer weather. From the clothes to the activism and even the music. I'm loving it.
I've never been that big of a HIM fan, but "You Are The One" has to be one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.
Also, why am I just now falling in love with Clutch? I blame VLB
fuckyourmom]
[music | Clutch ♥ "Big News 1"]
Cut for angst that's been building for weeks.
It's like I'm standing still and things are changing sofuckingfast all around me. All these huge (good and bad) things are happening to change my life, and it's like I'm standing on the other side of the glass watching it all go by. A few months ago, the solution to this would be a quick fix, an instant red-and-maybe-permanent reminder that I'm still alive. But now I'm back in therapy and things are supposed to be getting better, but I'm just getting more numb and uninspired by the second.
I'm having to do a lot of growing up real fast, and everyone else seems to be growing up in fast-forward, too. I don't like it. I'm realizing more and more that I will never be able to depend on the people that I am supposed to lean on for support and authority. This house will collapse when I move out. I am all that's holding it togther right now.
Last night was the first real conversation I've had with anyone in fuck knows how long. Either there's going to be a huge fallout with my main circle of friends, or we'll hold off till summer and use those months to cool down. Either way, I'm scared as hell.
I am really embracing the hippy lifestyle with the warmer weather. From the clothes to the activism and even the music. I'm loving it.
I've never been that big of a HIM fan, but "You Are The One" has to be one of the most beautiful songs I've ever heard.
Also, why am I just now falling in love with Clutch? I blame VLB