Need

[dotgraph]

 So much middle ground
I beat my feet and palms against.
Too much middle ground 
and not enough.
One side of middle ground soaks through my skin 
I walk on needles
walk on spells of hatred
and denied shame.
Other side has no ground.
In dreams I teach myself to rise there.
On those sides, I have a favorite color.
I have emotion and opinion.
Now I am just tired and nonexistent to myself.
My color is grey
Feeling nothing
but suppression.