Dean and Castiel meta and picspam thing, with some stuff about denial
First, in case you missed it, over at the Castiel comment!fic meme at spn_castiel I wrote a self-indulgent ficlet in which Dean gets the flu and is very grumpy, and Castiel attempts to look after him. (Blame thandie). It's gen...no really, it's gen. No UST at all. Why are you laughing?
I was thinking about Dean and this repeated history of people taking bullets for him. John sold his life and his soul and went to hell to save Dean's life. Sam tried to sell his soul, and then found another way to sell his soul to avenge Dean, by literally almost turning himself into something else (ultimate loss of self -- in a way it's bigger than death or going to hell). Bobby stabbed himself in order to keep from killing Dean, and has lost the use of his legs. Castiel, because Dean asked for his help, exiled himself from the only family he knows, not to mention flinging himself in front of an archangel.
It's ironic, because Dean's supposedly the sacrificer on the show, right? The protector, the nurturer, the one who makes sacrifices for others.
In 5x01 Dean gets the news of Castiel exploding like Chunky soup. Aside from showing regret, Dean says "Cas, you stupid bastard." I think "you stupid bastard" sums up Dean's feelings about people flinging themselves into the fire for him. "Dad died because of me." Why did you do this for me?
When Dean is a bit of a dick to Castiel in 5x02, Castiel reminds him of what he did. I don't think Dean has forgotten for one second -- that's kind of the problem. Dean can't forget. That's why he's being a jerk. Keep Castiel at arm's length (except when he's straightening his tie or putting his arm around Castiel's shoulder or letting Castiel's stand in his personal space).
Castiel's also the only one to throw that up in Dean's face which may be a pointer to Castiel's status as not-quite-family, not yet. With John, Sam, Bobby, it's unspoken (although in early S3 Dean kept playing the "I've only got one year to live" card to Sam a lot, which is throwing it in Sam's face). But after the fact, it's not as if any of them said "look what I did for you!"
Then we have 5x03 and Castiel asks Dean for help and Dean says yes. And then Castiel tells Dean, I'll probably die tomorrow, la la la, let's summon the archangel who turned me into Chunky soup and oh yes, I might die again, and I'm doing this because I chose your side. Rather than deal with it, Dean takes him to a whorehouse. Which is so utterly Dean.
At the end of the episode Dean launches a whole fleet of barges going up the river of denial about being just fine without Sam. But Dean did have a good time with Castiel (which has nothing to do with Dean wanting to replace Sam, or the showrunners wanting to replace Sam with Castiel, and if you think *I* want Castiel to replace Sam then I don't know what to do with you). Castiel made him laugh. But what does Dean say? "You're not that much fun." Textually, that's Dean emphasizing just how not-fun life with Sam has been (and if Dean keeps protesting loud enough, maybe he'll start to believe himself). But it's also denying Castiel. Then Dean says he's on his own, which is when Castiel does a pointed vanish. Okay, you like being alone, fine. Here, jackass.
Being alone for Dean means nobody will be throwing themselves into the fire for him.
After all that thinky, a Dean/Castiel in 5x03 mini-picspam.
Caps by marishna. The last cap, and cropping, resizing, and coloring by me.
Up in Dean's personal space. I almost wish the show wouldn't put them together in shots like these Okay, no I don't, but it's like the show is TAUNTING me.
Look how much space is between them now...
...before Dean walks towards Castiel and they wind up back in each other's space again.
The Straightening of the Tie. ♥ ♥ ♥
How are they so adorable? HOW?
This one kind of breaks my heart. Dean's grin and Castiel's little smile. When has Castiel ever smiled, what, once? And that was for Dean too, I think? (Also, Dean, you like him. A little. Admit it).
And this. The scene was very dark and at first I thought I had imagined it but no, pictorial evidence. When the glass explodes, Dean and Castiel duck towards each other and Castiel throws his arm protectively over Dean. ♥
eta: Fine. It is a murky screen cap! Textual aids added. I am not hallucinating! So there.
I was thinking about Dean and this repeated history of people taking bullets for him. John sold his life and his soul and went to hell to save Dean's life. Sam tried to sell his soul, and then found another way to sell his soul to avenge Dean, by literally almost turning himself into something else (ultimate loss of self -- in a way it's bigger than death or going to hell). Bobby stabbed himself in order to keep from killing Dean, and has lost the use of his legs. Castiel, because Dean asked for his help, exiled himself from the only family he knows, not to mention flinging himself in front of an archangel.
It's ironic, because Dean's supposedly the sacrificer on the show, right? The protector, the nurturer, the one who makes sacrifices for others.
In 5x01 Dean gets the news of Castiel exploding like Chunky soup. Aside from showing regret, Dean says "Cas, you stupid bastard." I think "you stupid bastard" sums up Dean's feelings about people flinging themselves into the fire for him. "Dad died because of me." Why did you do this for me?
When Dean is a bit of a dick to Castiel in 5x02, Castiel reminds him of what he did. I don't think Dean has forgotten for one second -- that's kind of the problem. Dean can't forget. That's why he's being a jerk. Keep Castiel at arm's length (except when he's straightening his tie or putting his arm around Castiel's shoulder or letting Castiel's stand in his personal space).
Castiel's also the only one to throw that up in Dean's face which may be a pointer to Castiel's status as not-quite-family, not yet. With John, Sam, Bobby, it's unspoken (although in early S3 Dean kept playing the "I've only got one year to live" card to Sam a lot, which is throwing it in Sam's face). But after the fact, it's not as if any of them said "look what I did for you!"
Then we have 5x03 and Castiel asks Dean for help and Dean says yes. And then Castiel tells Dean, I'll probably die tomorrow, la la la, let's summon the archangel who turned me into Chunky soup and oh yes, I might die again, and I'm doing this because I chose your side. Rather than deal with it, Dean takes him to a whorehouse. Which is so utterly Dean.
At the end of the episode Dean launches a whole fleet of barges going up the river of denial about being just fine without Sam. But Dean did have a good time with Castiel (which has nothing to do with Dean wanting to replace Sam, or the showrunners wanting to replace Sam with Castiel, and if you think *I* want Castiel to replace Sam then I don't know what to do with you). Castiel made him laugh. But what does Dean say? "You're not that much fun." Textually, that's Dean emphasizing just how not-fun life with Sam has been (and if Dean keeps protesting loud enough, maybe he'll start to believe himself). But it's also denying Castiel. Then Dean says he's on his own, which is when Castiel does a pointed vanish. Okay, you like being alone, fine. Here, jackass.
Being alone for Dean means nobody will be throwing themselves into the fire for him.
After all that thinky, a Dean/Castiel in 5x03 mini-picspam.
Caps by marishna. The last cap, and cropping, resizing, and coloring by me.
Up in Dean's personal space. I almost wish the show wouldn't put them together in shots like these Okay, no I don't, but it's like the show is TAUNTING me.
Look how much space is between them now...
...before Dean walks towards Castiel and they wind up back in each other's space again.
The Straightening of the Tie. ♥ ♥ ♥
How are they so adorable? HOW?
This one kind of breaks my heart. Dean's grin and Castiel's little smile. When has Castiel ever smiled, what, once? And that was for Dean too, I think? (Also, Dean, you like him. A little. Admit it).
And this. The scene was very dark and at first I thought I had imagined it but no, pictorial evidence. When the glass explodes, Dean and Castiel duck towards each other and Castiel throws his arm protectively over Dean. ♥
eta: Fine. It is a murky screen cap! Textual aids added. I am not hallucinating! So there.