SPN fic: Until Dawn (Gen, PG-13)

[dotfic]

Title: Until Dawn
Author: dotfic
Rating: Gen, PG-13, preseries (Stanford years)
W/C: 3,100
Disclaimer: Eric Kripke and the CW's, not mine.

a/n: This references events that took place in Long Past Dark, but can be read on its own. Many thanks to luzdeestrellas for the insightful beta comments

Comments

[iamstealthyone]

Nicely done. It’s good to see Dean and John working so well together in Sam’s absence, able to do their job without a ton of tension between and around them.

Favorite lines:

The sky through the windows of the diner was a confused muddle of dark gray clouds and patches of sun, wind kicking up debris, dust, and pieces of roadside trash.

Good scene setting.

He turned a page over and wrote a note sideways along the margin; the page was too full to write anywhere else.

I like this detail about the journal, how much John’s used it.

They'd left Dad's truck at Bobby's for a tune-up, and so it was the two of them in the Impala, days filled with the curving of back roads, the leanness of highways, Dad humming along to his 60's rock until Dean invoked the family rule about who got to pick the music.

Good details.

their brown robes spread like spilled coffee.

Great analogy.

"Letting them pile on you like that was your plan to lull them into a false sense of security before you kicked the crap out of them."

*snickers*

Dad lowered his hand, curled his fingers into a fist against the steering wheel. Cars rushed by them.

I like the detail about the cars rushing by. It’s a nice little tidbit that makes the reader feel like he/she’s right there in the scene.

scooted himself from the edge of the roof, heel of his boots dislodging a chip of tile.

Good detail.

Dean grabbed another potato chip, the crinkling of the bag loud in the quiet.

Good detail here, too.

"Cerberus slobber?" Dad said, tracing his finger along the pommel of the sword.

"So disgusting, man."

*g* I like the warm, companionable feel here.

a moment later realized Dad had said Sam's name without it sounding forced, without a circle of hurt around it. Just, regular, as if Sam'd be home for a visit next weekend like in any normal family.

It’s nice to see John reach this point where talking about Sam isn’t like salt on an open wound.

as the wisps of smoke merged with the mist curling off the lake.

I like this image.

They didn't go fishing - but Dad, who was driving, let Dean pick the music for the first hundred miles.

:)

[dotfic]

I figure it took them a while to get there -- they probably got along fine before Sam left, but Sam's leaving would've shaken them both deeply and created tension. And then they got to being a two-man team. Equals, yet with Dean still the second and John being protective.

Thanks for the lovely comments, I'm glad this worked for you! :D