(no subject)
i'm drinking strawberry ginger ale. it's gross. and yet.
i've had this window open for...a while, i really have little concept of time, but a while, and i haven't written anything. mostly because i'm having one of those days where words are all elusive. but. i don't know.
i still feel like crap. i'm waiting for things. i don't know what. molly promised southern comfort, but she's not exactly reliable. and whatever anyway, i'm just bored. and also tired, but i can't sleep yet.
i know that this is all, hey, i must be depressed because i'm typing in all lowercase, but really i'm just apathetic. and i've got the urge to write a hearfelt if bitter letter of closure, but i realized that i have no one to whom i might write one. maybe i can fictionalize it. nic needs closure with her mom. i can write that, and then i can write a cheery scene in which she burns it. except i can't write her pov, which really wouldn't matter but now it does. oh dear.
um. i am sitting here. and my head hurts. and i keep typing because i'm hoping to stumble over what i actually want to say, but it's not working. and i feel so inadequate.
[p.s. apparently i never got my grades because there was a hold on my account because they can't tell when you pay online. the fuck? yeah, whatever, i'm sure that's reasonable in some galaxy. anyway. a in spanish, a in creative writing, a in soc, b in pre-calc. i'm actually shocked by that, totally amazed by my pre-calc grade, plus proud, and at the same time...stuck on "oh my god, i got a b, i am utterly worthless." but i'll get over it. i swear.]
i've had this window open for...a while, i really have little concept of time, but a while, and i haven't written anything. mostly because i'm having one of those days where words are all elusive. but. i don't know.
i still feel like crap. i'm waiting for things. i don't know what. molly promised southern comfort, but she's not exactly reliable. and whatever anyway, i'm just bored. and also tired, but i can't sleep yet.
i know that this is all, hey, i must be depressed because i'm typing in all lowercase, but really i'm just apathetic. and i've got the urge to write a hearfelt if bitter letter of closure, but i realized that i have no one to whom i might write one. maybe i can fictionalize it. nic needs closure with her mom. i can write that, and then i can write a cheery scene in which she burns it. except i can't write her pov, which really wouldn't matter but now it does. oh dear.
um. i am sitting here. and my head hurts. and i keep typing because i'm hoping to stumble over what i actually want to say, but it's not working. and i feel so inadequate.
[p.s. apparently i never got my grades because there was a hold on my account because they can't tell when you pay online. the fuck? yeah, whatever, i'm sure that's reasonable in some galaxy. anyway. a in spanish, a in creative writing, a in soc, b in pre-calc. i'm actually shocked by that, totally amazed by my pre-calc grade, plus proud, and at the same time...stuck on "oh my god, i got a b, i am utterly worthless." but i'll get over it. i swear.]