closure
its odd how i find at the end of my work day i feel alot of emotions, strong. i think i know y.....cuz at the end of my day im exhausted, worn out and too tired to fight or hide what im feeling. ill b driving home listening to music and i jus feel all sorts of things, reflecting on the nite previous. today i did that, and cried on the way home. at work, the guys were all, we're really gonna miss u, blah blah blah. it was a sweet thing to say. after all i have known/worked with these people for the past 3 yrs and they have becum my friends and have helped me, in a small way, get thru things in the past yrs. its kind of sad. i will miss them. its bewildering and amazing at the same time how things cum full circle; closure. i am ending this chapter of my life to begin a new one. i have my pen out and am ready to begin with an eager anticipation. damn ima good writer! i jus hope that this new chapter has many sequels in the future. it makes me sad in certain ways to b leaving this place, but then i think of where im going to, who im going to b with, and i cant help but to smile, and my heart melts. i ache for your company, ur body, ur smile, and laugh. and i cry, a little of sadness, but mostly joy. i am happy. i didnt know i could b, but life is good right now and it feels great to have that happiness. and i absolutely thrive in that new-found happiness i have. its like the storm is receding, and the sun has broken thru and the light is so healing and nourishing. and paul brings alot of that in my life and for that i am sooo grateful to have. i dont have the words for it. i am completley humbled by it. i never imagined my life would b heading in the direction it is going, but i know i am going/doing exactly what i am sposed to b. this is where i am meant to b. i find a great peace in that knowledge. i then think of my life as a whole, a timeline of events; the things ive been thru to get to wher i am now, and it amazes me how life just carries on, no matter what happens. no matter what u go thru, u survive, u live, u carry on, and u begin things anew. its a deep thing to think about.