latest developments in the life ova loser

[dorynn]

well lots has happened as of lately....once again....i was in LA with Paul and jus hada wunderful time...but ya, like he sez, i wunder when we're gonna fight....o that reminds me...i needta go find sum boxing gloves so we can duke it out cuz thas the only way im gonna fight, and oh...i fight dirty!!..mmmm...newayz, las friday while paul was at wurk i checked my phone messages....thanks for calln me IAN u prik (hahah j/k)...and i gotta message from my realty co. that the townhome im in has been put on the market for sale...well...i totally stressd out bout it...like bad..that sat when i left LA i was cryin most the way home...jus thinkn bout all kindsa things...then i thought, well...ive gotta move outta my place so while im uprooting i might as well fukn go elsewher, like ive been wanting to do for sum time now...so im obvioulsy not gonna move farther away from Paul, so its the only logical thing to do to move closer....dun dun...so i came to this decision and i feel soo much better bout having made it...and i had sum anxieties bout telling paul....dun ask y...im weird...i have undue stress bout lotsa things...i always think of a situation, think of the actions im bout to take and investigate every in and out and effect it will have on myself and ppl around me and what they think and how it will effect the universe....well ok, mayb not the universe, but mine and those in my universe....*i am the ruler of the universe!*...i jus think this is the kik in the ass ive needed to maka move, and yes everything happens for a reason...and after i told paul bout my decision...i felt such relief and calmness...it was odd and nice, it jus reiterates the belief that i am doing what im sposed to b ...on the path that im sposed to take, wher ever that may lead...this will b quite sum journey...and of course my mind cums in kikkn and screamin with doubts and fears, the ego is ever intimidating and weary of change, but that jus makes me more motivated to get the ball rolling and follow thru with my decision,...but once my mind is made up, its ovr, thas it,...i wont quit til its dun and my goal is accomplished...wow, sumtimes its good to have direction and take control...and im gettn totally excited...so i feel good bout the decisions ive made and now i must implement them...now i must take the steps to prepare...and i must state how grateful i am for Paul and my sis and my friends...i have always had this image of myself of being strong and independent, but its at times like this when im stressed out that i need ppl around me, for advice, or jus an ear to hear me...and i am grateful for those who r ther when i am in need of them...it means alot to me and its always humbling for me since i think i dont need neone to survive...but these instances and the ppl around me keep me grounded and bring me back to earth...i liek to fly away lots!....but thank u Paul...im grateful for the support...
so change of thoughts...i was talkn wit my sis today....and she thinks im a total freak...i swear i was adopted....im soo not like neone in my family, they r so conservative and im jus not...*black sheep...bawwww*