that man is poiiisooonnnn
so let me tell you the story of mr. hotstuff. he started eating at my workplace like three months ago and i got excited every time he ate there 'cause he always ordered coffee milkshakes, which are not on the menu but which i really enjoy making anyway. so then after he ate there a few times, i started getting excited whenever i saw him because i noticed he was really attractive. um, okay. that's fine. eye candy is delicious and nutritious.
the problem started about a week and a half ago. he calls the restaurant and asks me out. so i was like meow, wow, super excited. so we go out, talk about lots of nice nerdy stuff (me: increasingly nervous) and then he says, "i'm married," later followed by "just to warn you, i'm dangerous. if we hang out again, i might try to kiss you." (me: nervous and nauseous.) i told him i just wanted to be friends, but that we should totally hang out again.
i see him the next day, at work. he gives me a book. he tells me he's really into it. i mentioned the day before that my favorite book is lolita (disclaimer: "you're going to laugh..." - dude is nineteen years old than i am.) he says "i'm going to call you 'L,' like humbert humbert calls lolita." i can't resist a good literary come-on. i'm super attracted to him. i want to know what's going on in that cheating mind. i find out his four-year-old daughter is named daisy.
i've been reading this book. it's nothing but sex. i go running (i used to watch this tv show, drake and josh, that had this bit about "running off your desires.") it works, for the most part. last thursday he said "see you next week." i don't see him on thursday. i figure he's come to his senses. i'm over it.
i finish the book. the lovers both die. i see him today. he asks what i thought of it, but seeing him is making me kind of sick and i'm trying not to look at him, so we can't have a proper discussion. it's a shame, i thought maybe i could start a book club. i give him an orange daisy, because he asks. he's with his female coworker. they seem really touchy-feely together. it's mother's day, and he's here, with her, staring at me (i'm trying not to look at him but i can tell when he's looking at me, which is often.) i almost throw up. i almost cry. i can't focus for the next two hours, even after they leave.
i pick up my bff later and tell her my day was "interesting." she asks why. i mention mr. hotstuff. she says "eww, you like him, you're a homewrecker." i feel another wave of nausea and think about it all the way home.
so my question is, what is making me feel this way? do i really actually like him, and it's making me sick? is it just his attitude in general that makes me sick? or is it the fact that i can't bring myself to really look at him because he makes me that nervous? i don't know, man, i don't know what to do. i feel like i should talk to him or something, like it might help, but he always catches me off guard. the words won't come out.
the problem started about a week and a half ago. he calls the restaurant and asks me out. so i was like meow, wow, super excited. so we go out, talk about lots of nice nerdy stuff (me: increasingly nervous) and then he says, "i'm married," later followed by "just to warn you, i'm dangerous. if we hang out again, i might try to kiss you." (me: nervous and nauseous.) i told him i just wanted to be friends, but that we should totally hang out again.
i see him the next day, at work. he gives me a book. he tells me he's really into it. i mentioned the day before that my favorite book is lolita (disclaimer: "you're going to laugh..." - dude is nineteen years old than i am.) he says "i'm going to call you 'L,' like humbert humbert calls lolita." i can't resist a good literary come-on. i'm super attracted to him. i want to know what's going on in that cheating mind. i find out his four-year-old daughter is named daisy.
i've been reading this book. it's nothing but sex. i go running (i used to watch this tv show, drake and josh, that had this bit about "running off your desires.") it works, for the most part. last thursday he said "see you next week." i don't see him on thursday. i figure he's come to his senses. i'm over it.
i finish the book. the lovers both die. i see him today. he asks what i thought of it, but seeing him is making me kind of sick and i'm trying not to look at him, so we can't have a proper discussion. it's a shame, i thought maybe i could start a book club. i give him an orange daisy, because he asks. he's with his female coworker. they seem really touchy-feely together. it's mother's day, and he's here, with her, staring at me (i'm trying not to look at him but i can tell when he's looking at me, which is often.) i almost throw up. i almost cry. i can't focus for the next two hours, even after they leave.
i pick up my bff later and tell her my day was "interesting." she asks why. i mention mr. hotstuff. she says "eww, you like him, you're a homewrecker." i feel another wave of nausea and think about it all the way home.
so my question is, what is making me feel this way? do i really actually like him, and it's making me sick? is it just his attitude in general that makes me sick? or is it the fact that i can't bring myself to really look at him because he makes me that nervous? i don't know, man, i don't know what to do. i feel like i should talk to him or something, like it might help, but he always catches me off guard. the words won't come out.