(no subject)
You know you have a problem when you're so fat you don't deserve to be hungry.
I hate myself. HATE HATE HATE. I hate that I'm lazy and I hate that I'll never be motivated to make myself happy and I hate that I'm doing nothing I planned to better myself. I hate that I'm self destructive and self loathing and full of so much self pity for no reason at all. I hate that I'm stupid and I hate that I'm destroying myself and everything I have the potential to be because I'm too lazy to work to that potential. I just...I'm so fucking frustrated. I'm not worth anyone's time anymore. Not mine, not Brendan's, not Becca's, not roomie's, not even my diary's. I'm just not worth fucking dealing with because I'm a fat waste of space who has nothing going for her but a pretty voice that's gonna get lost on people who don't know the difference between Cory and Brendan music, and Catherine and John music. I'm nothing and I'm no one and I FUCKING HATE IT. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He did this to me, I know he did. I beat him at everything else, but not this. This is here forever.
I hate myself. HATE HATE HATE. I hate that I'm lazy and I hate that I'll never be motivated to make myself happy and I hate that I'm doing nothing I planned to better myself. I hate that I'm self destructive and self loathing and full of so much self pity for no reason at all. I hate that I'm stupid and I hate that I'm destroying myself and everything I have the potential to be because I'm too lazy to work to that potential. I just...I'm so fucking frustrated. I'm not worth anyone's time anymore. Not mine, not Brendan's, not Becca's, not roomie's, not even my diary's. I'm just not worth fucking dealing with because I'm a fat waste of space who has nothing going for her but a pretty voice that's gonna get lost on people who don't know the difference between Cory and Brendan music, and Catherine and John music. I'm nothing and I'm no one and I FUCKING HATE IT. I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He did this to me, I know he did. I beat him at everything else, but not this. This is here forever.