La la lalala lalalalala lala la
Bored.
I did nothing today. Wasted time that I didn't really want to waste. Stupid.
I finished "Go Ask Alice" yesterday. The ending made me angry...but I guess you can't really get angry because it's a diary, and how can you be angry at the completion of someone else's story if it all really happened? I guess it just pissed me off because I sort of identified with this girl. Not that I'm a drug addict or anything, but she struggled and struggled and worked so hard to pull herself up, and fought to be happy, and when she finally was happy for once, ...everything came to a screeching halt. It all came crashing down. That's been my biggest fear for months. What if i struggled and fought and faced demons and suffered, and still struggle and suffer so one day I could actually be happy...and it never happens. Granted, I'm content now I suppose, but I really do feel like every time something good comes into my life, it's ripped away. Like the world would crumble if I were actually, genuinely, happy. God's sitting there not paying attention, looks down one day, sees that I'm smiling, goes "what the fuck went wrong here?", and strikes me down. Haha, I just laughed at my own visual, but you get what I'm saying. I'm just afraid I'll never get there, and I don't believe those fears are unwarranted.
Anyways, I also read Speak yesterday, which was done surprisingly well given the subject matter. I love when I can laugh out loud at a book, and realize that, even if the character is fictional, I'm not the only person who an still pull of sarcasm- short of Becca and Kellie-Marie.
I mean, I've always held a grudge against Teen Fiction, just because I feel like these authors write about shit they didn't experience, and try to capture emotion they never felt. I literally feel insulted when I read a fiction book about rape and the character's emotion and the author's description is nothing like the real thing. Like, how dare you try and show the world how I felt when you haven't the slightest clue about what you're talking about. Sure you can research and make assumptions, but you'll never be able to convey anything remotely close to the truth until you've experienced it. I don't care how good an author you are.
This book, however, didn't attempt to convey that much emotion. The character was simply written as a troubled teenager, and the author didn't go overboard with the emotional crap.
...so yeah, both really good books. Read them, ok? :)
I still have a week and a half left before I go back to Gordon. The excitement of going back is fading with the realization that I have so much make up sit to do before the 24th :( Then again, shouldn't be much of an issue considering nearly all of my friends are back in school now, so i have nothing better to do than to get my work done. Regardless, I really do want to go back. As silly as it sounds being only 40 minutes away, it's home to me now and I miss it. That, and I've come to appreciate it a thousand times more after hearing all the horror stories of my friends' schools *cough cough Salem State cough cough* and seeing the dread in people's faces when they had to go back. I'm happy where I am, and I hear that's pretty rare.
Congratulations to anyone who read this far! Now I get to beg you for money! I need to go back to school with a list of 75 names and addresses of people I can send letters to for donations to fund my trip to Romania this spring to live with, teach, and take care of orphaned children. So leave your address if you can help me! Thanks <3
Oh, and I've seen Enchanted three times and have decided its my new favorite movie. Kthanksbye
I did nothing today. Wasted time that I didn't really want to waste. Stupid.
I finished "Go Ask Alice" yesterday. The ending made me angry...but I guess you can't really get angry because it's a diary, and how can you be angry at the completion of someone else's story if it all really happened? I guess it just pissed me off because I sort of identified with this girl. Not that I'm a drug addict or anything, but she struggled and struggled and worked so hard to pull herself up, and fought to be happy, and when she finally was happy for once, ...everything came to a screeching halt. It all came crashing down. That's been my biggest fear for months. What if i struggled and fought and faced demons and suffered, and still struggle and suffer so one day I could actually be happy...and it never happens. Granted, I'm content now I suppose, but I really do feel like every time something good comes into my life, it's ripped away. Like the world would crumble if I were actually, genuinely, happy. God's sitting there not paying attention, looks down one day, sees that I'm smiling, goes "what the fuck went wrong here?", and strikes me down. Haha, I just laughed at my own visual, but you get what I'm saying. I'm just afraid I'll never get there, and I don't believe those fears are unwarranted.
Anyways, I also read Speak yesterday, which was done surprisingly well given the subject matter. I love when I can laugh out loud at a book, and realize that, even if the character is fictional, I'm not the only person who an still pull of sarcasm- short of Becca and Kellie-Marie.
I mean, I've always held a grudge against Teen Fiction, just because I feel like these authors write about shit they didn't experience, and try to capture emotion they never felt. I literally feel insulted when I read a fiction book about rape and the character's emotion and the author's description is nothing like the real thing. Like, how dare you try and show the world how I felt when you haven't the slightest clue about what you're talking about. Sure you can research and make assumptions, but you'll never be able to convey anything remotely close to the truth until you've experienced it. I don't care how good an author you are.
This book, however, didn't attempt to convey that much emotion. The character was simply written as a troubled teenager, and the author didn't go overboard with the emotional crap.
...so yeah, both really good books. Read them, ok? :)
I still have a week and a half left before I go back to Gordon. The excitement of going back is fading with the realization that I have so much make up sit to do before the 24th :( Then again, shouldn't be much of an issue considering nearly all of my friends are back in school now, so i have nothing better to do than to get my work done. Regardless, I really do want to go back. As silly as it sounds being only 40 minutes away, it's home to me now and I miss it. That, and I've come to appreciate it a thousand times more after hearing all the horror stories of my friends' schools *cough cough Salem State cough cough* and seeing the dread in people's faces when they had to go back. I'm happy where I am, and I hear that's pretty rare.
Congratulations to anyone who read this far! Now I get to beg you for money! I need to go back to school with a list of 75 names and addresses of people I can send letters to for donations to fund my trip to Romania this spring to live with, teach, and take care of orphaned children. So leave your address if you can help me! Thanks <3
Oh, and I've seen Enchanted three times and have decided its my new favorite movie. Kthanksbye