#560 Weekends start on Wednesday....
.... at least for me. So now I'm gonna be off for next 3.5 days and I promise that I'll try not to say or not to do anything stupid. Though it really might be difficult ;)
I think I haven't mentioned that, because Chris didn't allow me to mention that on my blog at that stage. We've had a really rough end of year (2008). I really thought it's over, he wanted to have a break (though he claimed that he loved me and didn't want to see other people) and he called me on the next day and we spent the NY eve together - he apologizing that he was stupid and he has had no idea what was he saying etc. In the mean time I was crying my eyes out, looking for a job offers in Ediburgh, and cheap flights. Anyway, that's not my point, especially since he says that he never meant breaking up - just spending some time on his own, and that he was really surprised when I told him that I was ready to leave Strabane back then. Whatever.
The thing is that he wants to move in together. And so do I. I do want to move in together. Eventually. But I don't know if I want to do this right now. I'm still not pregnant and I quiet enjoy my freedom, which I have while I'm living without him. I can decide on what I'm spending my own money, and I do not have to wonder if he approves the food I'm buying, the way I'm cooking or the way in which I wash the dishes. While we don't live together I can always tell him to get out from the kitchen if he doesn't like my methods ;). And after all - it's a really big step. Like make it or break it. And I really do enjoy this thing that we have right now. And I do like the place in which I live... I know I have to think it over and talk it over with C. himself. When I told him that he doesn't have to do that if he doesn't want to, he said that he's scared, but still he wants to do that.
I don't know what I want... I just don't wanna loose whatever we have now, since it really feels good. And probably that's what I'm afraid of the most.
I think I haven't mentioned that, because Chris didn't allow me to mention that on my blog at that stage. We've had a really rough end of year (2008). I really thought it's over, he wanted to have a break (though he claimed that he loved me and didn't want to see other people) and he called me on the next day and we spent the NY eve together - he apologizing that he was stupid and he has had no idea what was he saying etc. In the mean time I was crying my eyes out, looking for a job offers in Ediburgh, and cheap flights. Anyway, that's not my point, especially since he says that he never meant breaking up - just spending some time on his own, and that he was really surprised when I told him that I was ready to leave Strabane back then. Whatever.
The thing is that he wants to move in together. And so do I. I do want to move in together. Eventually. But I don't know if I want to do this right now. I'm still not pregnant and I quiet enjoy my freedom, which I have while I'm living without him. I can decide on what I'm spending my own money, and I do not have to wonder if he approves the food I'm buying, the way I'm cooking or the way in which I wash the dishes. While we don't live together I can always tell him to get out from the kitchen if he doesn't like my methods ;). And after all - it's a really big step. Like make it or break it. And I really do enjoy this thing that we have right now. And I do like the place in which I live... I know I have to think it over and talk it over with C. himself. When I told him that he doesn't have to do that if he doesn't want to, he said that he's scared, but still he wants to do that.
I don't know what I want... I just don't wanna loose whatever we have now, since it really feels good. And probably that's what I'm afraid of the most.