karmaic retribution
i can't remember where i got this concept; that karma is just pure physics. the third law of motion-- every action has an equal and opposite reaction. you bounce a ball off the wall at high speed, it hits you in the face. i believe in this, but in my case right now, it seems that i bounced the ball off the wall at a higher speed that's why it hit my face harder too. and i totally deserve this.
"don't be hard on yourself." a friend adviced me.
"let me be, for a while...", i said.
i badly need to fix myself.