Contemplating...
I have had a pretty rough weekend. Emotionally, I am going through a lot more than I can carry on my shoulders, but luckily, or not, (depending on how you look at it), I have gone through this kind of pain before, so hopefully I will be able to handle it better the second time around. I am trying to be the strong stoic at this point because if I crumble in front of my family, then chaos will ensue, and I cannot let that happen at all. I need to start being the rock of this family since I am the oldest sibling of the two.
But, I can't help but think of the treachorous past memories I have had in the past. I can't help but relive them because of the return of this situation. I really pray it doesn't turn out as bad as it did last time. I had bouts of crying here and there and it was a disaster. I don't need to go through depression all over again. I have suffered through that hurdle, and I am not going to allow myself to jump back onto that carousel again.
All of this entry is vague. I am quite aware of that fact, but I rather not explain the details.
But, I can't help but think of the treachorous past memories I have had in the past. I can't help but relive them because of the return of this situation. I really pray it doesn't turn out as bad as it did last time. I had bouts of crying here and there and it was a disaster. I don't need to go through depression all over again. I have suffered through that hurdle, and I am not going to allow myself to jump back onto that carousel again.
All of this entry is vague. I am quite aware of that fact, but I rather not explain the details.