I'm here atleast
Dear Journal,
I haven't had the best night (well kinda good) but not really. You know that feeling that almost everyone gets when the one thing they want most in the world is kinda slipping through their fingers? Well I kinda feel like that. I just don't know why but I do. The one thing I love totally and want forever feels like it's slipping away for some reason. "I am the man on the side, hoping you'll make up your mind. I am the one who will swallow his pride, life as the man on the side," that is how i feel exactly. i don't want to lose what I've got but then again does that person that I have want to even keep what they got. I know she doesn't want a break but all the signs point to maybe SHE needs one. I hate to say it but I am starting to kind of feel like JM said , "Taking my own advice,i'm giving up tonight." I don't fully feel that way but I kind of do. Last night she asked me if I would always wait for her and the truth is I will, but is that something good that you would want to hear? "Will you always wait for me?" Those words still sink my heart. But hey I am Trey and I can do anything. I can make it and if she doesn't then I can deal with that too. The truth is I only want her to be happy, if she was with me and happy I am glad and if she is without me and happy then I am glad for her still. I shouldn't worry but I do. The other thing that worries me is that maybe she doesn't want this break because she is scared that I won't be there and if that's so then why are we even where we are? Ya know? Well I love diane with all of my heart and I don't want to lose her so I will keep you posted as news comes in. i really do love diane more than she or anyone will ever know.
Trey
I haven't had the best night (well kinda good) but not really. You know that feeling that almost everyone gets when the one thing they want most in the world is kinda slipping through their fingers? Well I kinda feel like that. I just don't know why but I do. The one thing I love totally and want forever feels like it's slipping away for some reason. "I am the man on the side, hoping you'll make up your mind. I am the one who will swallow his pride, life as the man on the side," that is how i feel exactly. i don't want to lose what I've got but then again does that person that I have want to even keep what they got. I know she doesn't want a break but all the signs point to maybe SHE needs one. I hate to say it but I am starting to kind of feel like JM said , "Taking my own advice,i'm giving up tonight." I don't fully feel that way but I kind of do. Last night she asked me if I would always wait for her and the truth is I will, but is that something good that you would want to hear? "Will you always wait for me?" Those words still sink my heart. But hey I am Trey and I can do anything. I can make it and if she doesn't then I can deal with that too. The truth is I only want her to be happy, if she was with me and happy I am glad and if she is without me and happy then I am glad for her still. I shouldn't worry but I do. The other thing that worries me is that maybe she doesn't want this break because she is scared that I won't be there and if that's so then why are we even where we are? Ya know? Well I love diane with all of my heart and I don't want to lose her so I will keep you posted as news comes in. i really do love diane more than she or anyone will ever know.
Trey