(no subject)
Sometimes I feel like my life is in Shambles. And, ya know, just maybe it is. It could very well be that I have nothing in order and do not know anything that is going on. It could be that I have no control and nothing ever goes my way. It could be that my relationship with my girlfriend isn't as good as it should and I don't treat her like she should be treated. It could be that I don't respect people, especially authority figures, as they should be respected. It could be that I've made alot of bad choices in my life and one things I know are very wrong. It could be that I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. It could very well be that I have no idea what will happen tomorrow, or this weekend, or the rest of this summer. Glad I have God in my life.
I don't want to think about being out of college. At the moment I can think of nothing more depressing. I don't want to be old and out of college. I want to be a kid forever and be on that level. I have to work with teens and college kids. I love being one and I can't imagine not interacting with them all the time. I love it with everything within me. I'll go where he leads me, but I would perfer if he led me there.
I'm pretty selfish. I just do/don't do things based on if I want to or not. Like, everything. I don't do things that make other people (especially Ashley) happy just because I don't want to. And if I feel like doing something I just do it because I want to, regardless of how it makes others (especially Ashley) feel. In fact, now that I sit and think about it for a while, I'm kind of a jerk. I can't blame people if they don't want to hang out with me. I think I'm insecure. Right, who would think! But, I have this thing about being accepted. I never really was when I was younger...like anytime really. I've never really had any super close friends. I always wanted everyone to like me. And so sometimes I say dumb things and probably get annoying, and it's dumb. I mean sure friends are nice, but it's better to be a friend than to have friends. That's how I've come to see it. People are just great.
Wow I need to stop rambling. It's not good for people to know all this stuff.
I don't want to think about being out of college. At the moment I can think of nothing more depressing. I don't want to be old and out of college. I want to be a kid forever and be on that level. I have to work with teens and college kids. I love being one and I can't imagine not interacting with them all the time. I love it with everything within me. I'll go where he leads me, but I would perfer if he led me there.
I'm pretty selfish. I just do/don't do things based on if I want to or not. Like, everything. I don't do things that make other people (especially Ashley) happy just because I don't want to. And if I feel like doing something I just do it because I want to, regardless of how it makes others (especially Ashley) feel. In fact, now that I sit and think about it for a while, I'm kind of a jerk. I can't blame people if they don't want to hang out with me. I think I'm insecure. Right, who would think! But, I have this thing about being accepted. I never really was when I was younger...like anytime really. I've never really had any super close friends. I always wanted everyone to like me. And so sometimes I say dumb things and probably get annoying, and it's dumb. I mean sure friends are nice, but it's better to be a friend than to have friends. That's how I've come to see it. People are just great.
Wow I need to stop rambling. It's not good for people to know all this stuff.