Nov 11, 2002 13:12
Dear whoever actually still reads my old journal,
I realize that this time last year was the starting point to a lot of things that have occurred that have turned me in to the person I am today. It's funny how though I may not have had such an impact on some people/situations, they changed me drastically. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. Just something I think should be put down and recorded for future reference. For whom? Myself, of course. We're nearing the new year. 2003. Well, I suppose it is still a bit away, but never too soon to think about the future. I haven't been doing enough of that, but have been lingering on thoughts of the past instead. I'm putting away those nostalgic longings though, because it just isn't good. It's pointless. I have a lot of time ahead of me, plenty of thing to [and not to] look forward to. I have to get on task about things. *sigh* So many people have come in and out of my life lately, it's almost hard to keep track. More in than out, but even so. Sometimes I just long for stability. I propose to myself to find a reasonable amount of stability, if that makes any sense. I need to find something and rush head first as I always do, without thinking, and stick to it this time. I'll probably just get shut out again. Or pushed aside. Or looked over. It happens. Won't stop me from trying, though. You know what i'm talking about. Even now.
It's the funniest thing.. when you first meet someone how perfect everything can seem. And then time comes in between everything. And things get misconstrued. And everyone turns out to not be at all as they first seemed. And what a dissapointment it becomes, a headache. And you just wish you didn't know them so well again.
I'll update here again sometime. See if things bring about anything. ::shrugs::