WANTED: identity
the winter retreat was...the best retreat ever.
I'm so proud of all of my ccymers for steppin it up and making newcomers feel welcomed and making them want to join!
that january meeting really helped everyone.
we all meshed just so well.
friday night i was really sure to welcome everyone as soon as they came in and give them hugs and learn their names and just try to make them feel like they belonged cause i had realized that ccym is known for our hosptality and we were losing that.
i felt terrible and really heavy hearted for a good portion of the retreat because i realized that a few months ago a few people learned some things about me that i know they weren't expecting. and i know they think so highly of me...and i realized that i let them down.
and it just made me feel so awful.
but i kinda got over it and just let it go.
suzie and i did a MOP workshop...it was pretty fun. we tried to switch things up and play games so that people werent bored. we had a pretty good time.
i spent a lot of time with suzie and lyndsey of coarse because we were roommates but i also hung out a lot with ryan which was cool because i've always known him and have talked to him a few times, but i never got chances to just sit and talk to him so we had some heart to heart convos through-out the weekend.
the dolgeville boys brought some new blood with them. and of coarse they all had amazing voices and sang some songs at the talent show and in their rooms and such.
my family group consisted of eric losey's dad, taylor pohlig's dad, me, ben, KURT!, scotty mattice, kari, nicole, roren, suzie l, kelsey, and steph p.
twas awesome. our family group really was good. i just loved it. our last discussion time was so deep...i just loved my family group.
i still cant get over how well this retreat went even though the planning was awful! everyone just grew so close together and felt like a family.....it made me think back to 8th grade with my first ever winter retreat and how the ccymers made me feel soooo welcomed..... that's what our generation of ccymers did for eveyrone else!
i did my witness on Calcutta on saturday night....and i bawled...and i made a lot of other people cry...and i think a lot of people had so realizations about my trip and what i went through with my MOPers and they realized that i have changed and i think they have seen me grow in faith, in leadership, and just in christ in general.
i got a lot of feedback just about my witness and even though i had felt like i didnt get my message through to people, they came to me afterwards and set me at ease by telling me that they had been moved by what i had said and such.
saturday night, suzie and i went to our new favorite spot and talked. she's been having some problems lately that she talked to my dad about and he hit some hard points about her life and made her realize things about herself. I just love suzie. I think she sometime's looks to my dad as a fatherly figure because her's died when she was 2 weeks old..... shoot, i wouldn't mind adopting her! haha i think she's gonna come visit a few times this spring and spend the weekend here. that will be good.
i met a girl who just came back from two years in hte peace corps. and she said she could talk to me about my trip. dad kinda set that up for me which was super cool of him to do. i have her email.
taylor did this super awesome witness today and i just have to quote something he said:
"Prayer is like talking to yourself outloud..... only praying actually gets you somewhere...and talking to yourself...doesn't!"
hahaha it was so cute when he said it.
of coarse during this retreat i go closer to suzie as always... i ogt a lot closer to lyndsey and stephanie (who are both most likely going to nazareth and if i go there next year, we can room together!!!!!!!! weeeeee!!!)
but i also got closer and/ or met some awesome people like:
-Maddie who is joining and is the cutest in life
-Kurt who is steph's brother and is a sophmore and i love him to death and want him to be secretary next year
-ryan who i've known since 8th grade but he's just such a great person and whish i could visit dolgeville more often!
-ethan who also lives in dolgeville and is sooooo inspiring
-Cayla who is joining ccym thank goodness
-Roren who is from the korean church in rochester and she's the sweetest girl in LIFE. haha i wish she wasnt from the western conference or i'd make her join
-Marileigh- who is a senior and could never join because she's not methodist...but she's friends with suzie and i LOVE HER
and many others
our goal in january was to make people feel more welcomed and get more people to want to join and to be inspired to join ccym..
and our goal was reached... we had over 15 kids ask for applications.
i'm so proud of my ccymers.
there were amny fabulous convo's and just everything rocked.
i already miss people.
and i crack up cause a lot of people thought i was a senior and were sad that they'd be joining and i would be gone next year and i was like "erm i'm a junior" and everyone got fiercely excited because they realized they could spend a whole year in ccym with me! haha yay!
during the hug line, i was about 3/4's down the line and i was doin ok and not crying while ryan (THE BIG D'VILLE FOOTBALL PLAYER) was bawling his eyes out next to me! and so then scott mason got to me and i gave him a hug and he was already crying but he broke down more and whispered i'm sorry into my ear...which was somehting i had been waiting for for a long time and i started crying and we bothe started crying and shaking and just stood there hugging for a long time....i guess it was everything from the retreat that he just couldnt be mad at me anymore...who knows. all i know is i'm so happy i have my friend back. i missed him so much! haah.
so then i cried a bunch of other times in the hug line...when tom antonoff got to me i cried cause he always has to tell me that i'm a strong believer and he wishes he could get everyone in the world to meet me and such. tom just makes me cry..
suzie made me cry. of coarse. why wouldnt she?
kurt made me cry.
kelly girardi made me cry.
then jeanette antonoff made me bawl....i literally stood there bawling. i couldnt take it. she told me that she's seen such a change in me even just from my witness and that she's proud of me and that she loves me... i couldn't take it. that was the second weight on my shoulders from the weekend that had been lifted (scott was the first weight haha)
and right after her was my dad and i continued to cry with him.
whew.
ccym just makes me feel so much better about myself...any doubts i have...anything...i just feel so much better after it.
and this itme is no exception.
actually..this time was the very best best retreat ever.
my first winter was the epitomy for the longest time. untill now.
i'm just so smiley.
I HEART CCYM.
I'm so proud of all of my ccymers for steppin it up and making newcomers feel welcomed and making them want to join!
that january meeting really helped everyone.
we all meshed just so well.
friday night i was really sure to welcome everyone as soon as they came in and give them hugs and learn their names and just try to make them feel like they belonged cause i had realized that ccym is known for our hosptality and we were losing that.
i felt terrible and really heavy hearted for a good portion of the retreat because i realized that a few months ago a few people learned some things about me that i know they weren't expecting. and i know they think so highly of me...and i realized that i let them down.
and it just made me feel so awful.
but i kinda got over it and just let it go.
suzie and i did a MOP workshop...it was pretty fun. we tried to switch things up and play games so that people werent bored. we had a pretty good time.
i spent a lot of time with suzie and lyndsey of coarse because we were roommates but i also hung out a lot with ryan which was cool because i've always known him and have talked to him a few times, but i never got chances to just sit and talk to him so we had some heart to heart convos through-out the weekend.
the dolgeville boys brought some new blood with them. and of coarse they all had amazing voices and sang some songs at the talent show and in their rooms and such.
my family group consisted of eric losey's dad, taylor pohlig's dad, me, ben, KURT!, scotty mattice, kari, nicole, roren, suzie l, kelsey, and steph p.
twas awesome. our family group really was good. i just loved it. our last discussion time was so deep...i just loved my family group.
i still cant get over how well this retreat went even though the planning was awful! everyone just grew so close together and felt like a family.....it made me think back to 8th grade with my first ever winter retreat and how the ccymers made me feel soooo welcomed..... that's what our generation of ccymers did for eveyrone else!
i did my witness on Calcutta on saturday night....and i bawled...and i made a lot of other people cry...and i think a lot of people had so realizations about my trip and what i went through with my MOPers and they realized that i have changed and i think they have seen me grow in faith, in leadership, and just in christ in general.
i got a lot of feedback just about my witness and even though i had felt like i didnt get my message through to people, they came to me afterwards and set me at ease by telling me that they had been moved by what i had said and such.
saturday night, suzie and i went to our new favorite spot and talked. she's been having some problems lately that she talked to my dad about and he hit some hard points about her life and made her realize things about herself. I just love suzie. I think she sometime's looks to my dad as a fatherly figure because her's died when she was 2 weeks old..... shoot, i wouldn't mind adopting her! haha i think she's gonna come visit a few times this spring and spend the weekend here. that will be good.
i met a girl who just came back from two years in hte peace corps. and she said she could talk to me about my trip. dad kinda set that up for me which was super cool of him to do. i have her email.
taylor did this super awesome witness today and i just have to quote something he said:
"Prayer is like talking to yourself outloud..... only praying actually gets you somewhere...and talking to yourself...doesn't!"
hahaha it was so cute when he said it.
of coarse during this retreat i go closer to suzie as always... i ogt a lot closer to lyndsey and stephanie (who are both most likely going to nazareth and if i go there next year, we can room together!!!!!!!! weeeeee!!!)
but i also got closer and/ or met some awesome people like:
-Maddie who is joining and is the cutest in life
-Kurt who is steph's brother and is a sophmore and i love him to death and want him to be secretary next year
-ryan who i've known since 8th grade but he's just such a great person and whish i could visit dolgeville more often!
-ethan who also lives in dolgeville and is sooooo inspiring
-Cayla who is joining ccym thank goodness
-Roren who is from the korean church in rochester and she's the sweetest girl in LIFE. haha i wish she wasnt from the western conference or i'd make her join
-Marileigh- who is a senior and could never join because she's not methodist...but she's friends with suzie and i LOVE HER
and many others
our goal in january was to make people feel more welcomed and get more people to want to join and to be inspired to join ccym..
and our goal was reached... we had over 15 kids ask for applications.
i'm so proud of my ccymers.
there were amny fabulous convo's and just everything rocked.
i already miss people.
and i crack up cause a lot of people thought i was a senior and were sad that they'd be joining and i would be gone next year and i was like "erm i'm a junior" and everyone got fiercely excited because they realized they could spend a whole year in ccym with me! haha yay!
during the hug line, i was about 3/4's down the line and i was doin ok and not crying while ryan (THE BIG D'VILLE FOOTBALL PLAYER) was bawling his eyes out next to me! and so then scott mason got to me and i gave him a hug and he was already crying but he broke down more and whispered i'm sorry into my ear...which was somehting i had been waiting for for a long time and i started crying and we bothe started crying and shaking and just stood there hugging for a long time....i guess it was everything from the retreat that he just couldnt be mad at me anymore...who knows. all i know is i'm so happy i have my friend back. i missed him so much! haah.
so then i cried a bunch of other times in the hug line...when tom antonoff got to me i cried cause he always has to tell me that i'm a strong believer and he wishes he could get everyone in the world to meet me and such. tom just makes me cry..
suzie made me cry. of coarse. why wouldnt she?
kurt made me cry.
kelly girardi made me cry.
then jeanette antonoff made me bawl....i literally stood there bawling. i couldnt take it. she told me that she's seen such a change in me even just from my witness and that she's proud of me and that she loves me... i couldn't take it. that was the second weight on my shoulders from the weekend that had been lifted (scott was the first weight haha)
and right after her was my dad and i continued to cry with him.
whew.
ccym just makes me feel so much better about myself...any doubts i have...anything...i just feel so much better after it.
and this itme is no exception.
actually..this time was the very best best retreat ever.
my first winter was the epitomy for the longest time. untill now.
i'm just so smiley.
I HEART CCYM.