(no subject)
I've had a lot of conversations with various people comparing the me of this time last last year to the me of now. It's slowly dawned on me how much of a difference there is. In a good way, mind. I'm more relaxed and comfortable with my work, I'm even remembering how much I used to enjoy the subjects I take and enjoy them just as much. I'm happier and more omg social, and most importantly, I don't feel like crying every other day. In fact, I don't feel like crying at all.
A lot of this has to do with some of the things I was dealing with last year just not being an issue. I went into the beginning of the school year last time knowing I wouldn't be able to do it. Then there were things that made life physically and emotionally draining, my health was worse the usual because I stopped sleeping and eating properly (not that I'm that good with it now, mind, but still 5x better than I was) and my stress level skyrocketed. I had a mental breakdown by the start of December.
Some of the things I was dealing with are still there. The work is still as hard, there's still just as much to do, and I still have that weight of expectation, my family's and mine, to bear. I'm just more prepared to deal with it now. It's like carrying a heavy box, if you pick it up wrong, it's painful, damaging, and impossible to deal with. But pick the same box up in the right way, and in comparison it's so amazingly easy.
I want to keep on carrying this box the right way. I think I'm going to make it to the end, and I'm going to do it well.
A lot of this has to do with some of the things I was dealing with last year just not being an issue. I went into the beginning of the school year last time knowing I wouldn't be able to do it. Then there were things that made life physically and emotionally draining, my health was worse the usual because I stopped sleeping and eating properly (not that I'm that good with it now, mind, but still 5x better than I was) and my stress level skyrocketed. I had a mental breakdown by the start of December.
Some of the things I was dealing with are still there. The work is still as hard, there's still just as much to do, and I still have that weight of expectation, my family's and mine, to bear. I'm just more prepared to deal with it now. It's like carrying a heavy box, if you pick it up wrong, it's painful, damaging, and impossible to deal with. But pick the same box up in the right way, and in comparison it's so amazingly easy.
I want to keep on carrying this box the right way. I think I'm going to make it to the end, and I'm going to do it well.