Things No One Is Allowed To Do As An Avenger, Young Or Otherwise
Title: Things No One Is Allowed To Do As An Avenger, Young Or Otherwise
Author: dorksidefiker
Fandom: That Damn Mpreg
Table/Prompt: Table 4/32. Confess
Character/Pairing: Just about every Avenger character in TDM.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 588
Summary: The Rules.
Authors Notes/Disclaimer: I own nothing. Based of the infamous Skippy list and my That Damn Mpreg series.
1. No challenging Hercules to arm wrestling.
2. No becoming Hercules sidekick.
3. No becoming Hercules’ eromos.
4. No invading Latveria.
5. No invading New York.
6. No invading anywhere.
7. Just because you are the princess of an alien people does not give you the right to invade anywhere.
8. There will be no singing of Werewolves of London around Wolfman Jack.
9. Not allowed to sell siblings to any of the following: Skrulls, Inhumans, Sentient Trees, other super teams, super villains, random passers by.
9a. No selling them to alternate universes, either.
10. No giving super-speed wedgies to the ‘deserving’. This applied to all speedsters.
11. No throwing Nate at anyone who has magnetic powers. Literally or figuratively.
12. No hitting on alternate reality siblings.
13. Do not tease the gods; it’s tacky.
14. There are to be no more magically caused babies.
15. We all know the hair all over the couch is yours, Bruce.
16. Because it’s green.
17. Hal doesn’t have that much hair to lose.
18. No shaving Bruce, no matter what form he’s in.
19. No shape shifting to look like an adult Avenger for any reasons that are not heroic.
19a. Seduction is not heroic.
20. Magic is not a toy.
21. Magic is especially not a sex toy.
22. No making out in any public areas of the Tower.
22a. This applies to you too, Tommy.
23. Wallace Barton is not allowed within arms reach of Rebecca Altman-Kaplan.
24. Theodore Altman is not allowed to dictate how far Wally has to stay from Becca.
25. No paying Bobby to get Becca to not date her boyfriend.
26. No sleeping with Becca’s boyfriend for any reason.
26a. This rule does not apply to Becca, no matter what Ted may wish.
27. No giving the Evil Overlord list to anyone.
28. No quoting the Evil Overlord list for any reason.
29. No threatening to become evil.
30. We all know Hal is creepy. Get over it.
31. No making pacts with elder gods, or anything like them.
32. Bobby’s code name is ‘Crimson Wizard’, not Slutcakes.
33. Becca’s code name is Protean, not Alpha Bitch or Tightass.
34. No using magic to turn people colors.
35. No using paint to turn people colors.
36. No encouraging Ray-Ray. She doesn’t need encouragement.
37. No encouraging Bobby.
38. No encouraging Tommy.
38. No throwing Bruce out the window.
40. No dating Summerses.
41. No ‘just sleeping with them’, either.
42. The same applies to Guthries.
43. Ted is not allowed to dictate who his children can date.
44. Becca is not allowed to beat confessions out of anyone without invulnerability.
45. Everyone is to keep in mind that Bobby is squishy and weak only in comparison with Becca.
46. No encouraging people to use Becca as a human shield just to see what amusingly horrible things she’ll do to them.
47. Not allowed to form a cult.
48. Just because three of our parents are lawyers is no reason to claim ‘shark’ as part of anyone’s lineage.
49. No building sentient toasters ever again.
50. There is too such a thing as too many lasers.
51. No poaching X-Men for the team. The Avengers already have Anole and the Cuckoos.
52. No encouraging people to consider careers in evil.
Author: dorksidefiker
Fandom: That Damn Mpreg
Table/Prompt: Table 4/32. Confess
Character/Pairing: Just about every Avenger character in TDM.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 588
Summary: The Rules.
Authors Notes/Disclaimer: I own nothing. Based of the infamous Skippy list and my That Damn Mpreg series.
1. No challenging Hercules to arm wrestling.
2. No becoming Hercules sidekick.
3. No becoming Hercules’ eromos.
4. No invading Latveria.
5. No invading New York.
6. No invading anywhere.
7. Just because you are the princess of an alien people does not give you the right to invade anywhere.
8. There will be no singing of Werewolves of London around Wolfman Jack.
9. Not allowed to sell siblings to any of the following: Skrulls, Inhumans, Sentient Trees, other super teams, super villains, random passers by.
9a. No selling them to alternate universes, either.
10. No giving super-speed wedgies to the ‘deserving’. This applied to all speedsters.
11. No throwing Nate at anyone who has magnetic powers. Literally or figuratively.
12. No hitting on alternate reality siblings.
13. Do not tease the gods; it’s tacky.
14. There are to be no more magically caused babies.
15. We all know the hair all over the couch is yours, Bruce.
16. Because it’s green.
17. Hal doesn’t have that much hair to lose.
18. No shaving Bruce, no matter what form he’s in.
19. No shape shifting to look like an adult Avenger for any reasons that are not heroic.
19a. Seduction is not heroic.
20. Magic is not a toy.
21. Magic is especially not a sex toy.
22. No making out in any public areas of the Tower.
22a. This applies to you too, Tommy.
23. Wallace Barton is not allowed within arms reach of Rebecca Altman-Kaplan.
24. Theodore Altman is not allowed to dictate how far Wally has to stay from Becca.
25. No paying Bobby to get Becca to not date her boyfriend.
26. No sleeping with Becca’s boyfriend for any reason.
26a. This rule does not apply to Becca, no matter what Ted may wish.
27. No giving the Evil Overlord list to anyone.
28. No quoting the Evil Overlord list for any reason.
29. No threatening to become evil.
30. We all know Hal is creepy. Get over it.
31. No making pacts with elder gods, or anything like them.
32. Bobby’s code name is ‘Crimson Wizard’, not Slutcakes.
33. Becca’s code name is Protean, not Alpha Bitch or Tightass.
34. No using magic to turn people colors.
35. No using paint to turn people colors.
36. No encouraging Ray-Ray. She doesn’t need encouragement.
37. No encouraging Bobby.
38. No encouraging Tommy.
38. No throwing Bruce out the window.
40. No dating Summerses.
41. No ‘just sleeping with them’, either.
42. The same applies to Guthries.
43. Ted is not allowed to dictate who his children can date.
44. Becca is not allowed to beat confessions out of anyone without invulnerability.
45. Everyone is to keep in mind that Bobby is squishy and weak only in comparison with Becca.
46. No encouraging people to use Becca as a human shield just to see what amusingly horrible things she’ll do to them.
47. Not allowed to form a cult.
48. Just because three of our parents are lawyers is no reason to claim ‘shark’ as part of anyone’s lineage.
49. No building sentient toasters ever again.
50. There is too such a thing as too many lasers.
51. No poaching X-Men for the team. The Avengers already have Anole and the Cuckoos.
52. No encouraging people to consider careers in evil.