dont listen to what i have to say
i have been thinking about you recently, wondering if you are ok. i will abmit sometimes i do miss you, but i can never forgive you. i will never forget what you did to me, to my mom, and to my brother and sisters. i miss the times you kept your promisses, but hated when you break the rest. i miss the fun times we shared, but cant stand the pain i feel thinking of you. watching you fuck your life up with that shit. im sure you have thought of me. wondering what kind of man ive become. wondering if i have met that special someone yet. you have left scars ion my body and in my mind. you walked all over us all and used your size to your advantage. they were all afraid of you, but i knew that deep down inside, you were a weak and scared man. i hear you talking to them, crying about how she ruined your life. that its her fault you are like this. she did nothing to make you this way. because of her, you were able to keep your job. you were able to drive those cars that you wanted. she tried to save you, we all did. you would never listen. "shes brain washing you". there was a time, when i was young and confused, that i believed those things that you said. back when i used to blame her for all the fights. back before i knew she used to wake up with you beating her. before i knew that she would give in so we didnt have to hear the yelling. i hate you for everything you did, for everything that you put us through. i will never forgive you and i will never forget the pain. i hate you, i hate what you made me. i hate being alone. i hate being afraid, afraid of turning into you..... yet i still miss you, but i will never see you again.