Paper Airplanes
Title: Paper Airplanes (And Letters to Your Heart)
Genre: AU High School/College
Rating: Soft R
Pairing: JaeHo
Length: 5038 W [excluding lyrics]
Warning: Profanity, Unbeta-ed, & it's JaeHo
Summary: They were supposed to take summer classes together, but JaeJoong has other plans. And when he returns from his three week trip, he doesn’t come back home alone.
Disclaimer: I owe nothing but the story and the fictional characters, Daniel Heu and Elisa Perez. If any of these names happen to be someone, it's pure coincidence.
Important Note: I can’t force anyone to go back and read Paper Stars (For You) before reading this because apparently I don’t have that ability. But keep in mind that if your brain cells get fucked up and you become confused, you can’t say that didn’t I warn you. Enjoy.
Give me a reason
Why I can’t feel my heart
Every time you leave me side
I just fall apart
(I Miss You - Darren Hayes)
Yunho always knew he was a romanticist. Even back in the days when he was with Abigail Riley, he was the one who was stealing quick kisses when the teachers weren’t looking. The one who was demanding for her to make him a lunch box with hearts and “I love you-s” written over his eggs and sausages in ketchup. And even though they had broken up with a mutual agreement, remained friends throughout the next following years, he was the one who felt miserable, unhappy whenever she wasn’t around.
So when JaeJoong tells him he will be going away to Minnesota for three weeks, Yunho is feeling a lot more than just sad and longing. ‘We were supposed to take our summer classes together.’
He tries (very, very hard) not to be clinging because insecurities doesn’t make this relationship (and others) any stronger, but there’s this nasty feeling coiled in his stomach. It makes him feel uneasy, almost nauseated, and he wonders if it’s because JaeJoong hasn’t given him any explanation as to why he was leaving, or if he hasn’t left JaeJoong’s side ever since they got together.
It’s devastating if you asked him.
You’re a shooting star I see
A vision of ecstasy
When you hold me, I’m alive
(Diamonds - Rihanna)
“Ngh, yes,” Yunho groans and throws his head back into the fluffed pillows, fingers digging into the soft sheets, when JaeJoong takes one of his sensitive nipples into his warm mouth, firmly tweaking the other one with his playful fingers. He murmurs of more and please, and when JaeJoong jerks his hips forward, Yunho sees stars. He immediately wraps his arms and legs around JaeJoong’s neck and torso as JaeJoong hauls him up onto his lap.
Eyes half lidded, he stares down at the older man before leaning forward to kiss him on the lips. He shifts his hips, rising up on his knees and then slamming back down, and it’s enough to cause both him and his lover to shudder in immense pleasure. He feels so full, so fucked - so undeniably good. Lips press against the pulse of his neck and he shivers, letting out a sharp cry when he hits the perfect angle.
Yunho meets JaeJoong’s every thrust, pressing his hands against JaeJoong’s chest as he rides him slowly. He’s a beautiful sight, JaeJoong thinks, each time he arcs his back into him, and emits pleasurable sounds and words of “please”, “yes”, “hyung”, and “god”. JaeJoong opens his eyes and watches as Yunho cups his face and leans forward and kisses him with teeth, tongue, and wetness.
JaeJoong fills him up first, hands pressing tightly to his back and teeth nibbling on his ear. “I love you,” he hears JaeJoong whisper as he closes his eyes and feels a hand snake over his shaft. “Come, I want to see you.” JaeJoong bites a sensitive spot on his neck and jerks his wrist, and Yunho spills over JaeJoong’s hand and on to their bodies, mouth gapping, as his body goes taut.
He snuggles up against JaeJoong’s chest, arms wrapped protectively around his waist, once they’re cleaned and covered up in the older man’s warm blankets. He presses his ear to JaeJoong’s heart and listens to the man’s heartbeat.
Please don’t go. Yunho wants to mutter out but only wraps his arms tighter around the torso.
I’ll be back, I promise.
Promises are meant to be broken though.
Only promises I can’t keep. JaeJoong plants a reassuring kiss on his forehead, and he closes his eyes as he feels a faint tear trace down the sideline of his face.
And I walk steady on my feet
I talk, my voice obeys me
(My Hands - Leona Lewis)
“I’ll be back in three weeks time alright?” JaeJoong explains as he bends over to grab his suitcase.
Yunho throws an arm over JaeJoong’s shoulders and waves his right hand in the air. “Go and leave me alone. You bother me too much when you’re here.”
The older man laughs. “Be good while I’m gone kid. And don’t be late on your first day of math tomorrow.”
Yunho nods and places his chin on JaeJoong’s shoulder. He sniffs a little and turns his nose, burying his face into the crook of his lover’s neck. He breathes in JaeJoong’s scent (coffee and smoke and a hint of sweet vanilla) and mumbles, “I’m going to miss you.”
He closes his eyes when he feels a hand placed on his head, fingers digging into his hair and scratching his scalp in comfort. Yunho leans closer into the touch and presses his head a little firmer against the palm and fingers. “Please be safe and hurry back.”
“I will.”
Yunho lets go and watches silently as JaeJoong walks away. He unconsciously lifts up his hand and rubs the left side of his chest. He sighs and waits for a good five minutes before turning around and walks into the opposite direction.
I can almost see you
(I Can Almost See You - Hammock)
He dreams of millions of color spotted lights with intense reds and yellows and oranges. And then he dreams of a dark shade of red splashed onto a black wall. It scares him because he thinks he sees a figure forming, a head turning and fingers reaching out to grasp his arm. But just when he can finally see who it is, the form dissolves and everything (every color and every visible spot of light) changes and disappears.
“Yunho,” a female voice whispers, and Yunho jerks awake to find himself covered in sweat.
Sitting up in bed, he looks around, confused because he can’t remember what he dreamt of. But it’s something - what, he’s not sure, but it’s something. He places a hand to calm his beating heart and takes a couple of deep breaths before lying back down on his bed. Closing his eyes, he sleeps once again.
Today, it seems lonely.
Say hello, there are still so many things left unsaid.
(Good-bye, Hello - TAETISEO)
The first day of summer math isn’t as bad as Yunho had thought it would be. Besides the fact that he has to wake up at five every morning, he actually looks forward to it.
There’s a very pretty girl in Yunho’s math class with red auburn boyish-cut hair and golden brown eyes. He loves how she smiles at him, and she has this attractive swag whenever she walks into the room. It’s almost as if she’s telling the world she’s confident about herself. And Yunho likes that in a girl. To be honest, that’s what he likes about her the most. It’s not everyday he gets to see a pretty girl with confidence, and it’s definitely not the stuck up “I’m the bitch” attitude either.
By the fourth day of summer school, Yunho finally remembers her name and knows how to spell it correctly (he sounds like a total creeper, but at this moment, he doesn’t really care). And on the fifth day, Elisa Nkauj Hli (Moon Girl) Perez surprises Yunho by sitting in front of his desk and turns to face him with a bright smile on her lips. “Hi, I’m Elisa Perez, and I’m half Asian. And you?”
“My name is Yunho Jung, and I’m Korean?”
“You’re not sure?”
He blushes when she giggles behind her hand. Yunho pushes the thought of how the small gesture reminds him of JaeJoong, and he clears out his throat to repeat himself a little more confidently, “My name is Yunho Jung and I’m Korean.”
Elisa nods and leans a little closer as she rests her chin on her palm. “You’re a cute kid - freshman?”
“Yeah. Is it that…obvious? How’d you know?”
“Nah, it was just a correct guess. I’m a sophomore going onto a junior this semester.”
Yunho nods. “You said you’re half Asian - what is it?”
She chuckles. “I’m part Hispanic and part Hmong, but I take after my mom. So,” she pauses and then continues, “tell me something about you.”
School has never been as interesting as this.
Good Morning
(Good Morning - Message to Bears)
Minnesota is different.
The humid air is sickening, suffocating that leaves JaeJoong gasping for air when he steps foot out of the plane. But nevertheless, he is here, safe and sound.
After he checks in, JaeJoong looks around for a red haired man, eyes scanning through the crowded airport.
“Jae!” A familiar deep voice shouts from behind and he turns around to see his long time friend.
JaeJoong smiles and opens his arms, embracing him immediately when the man reaches his side. He places a kiss on top of his head and hugs him tighter when he feels the shoulders start to shake, the obvious wet tears on his left shoulder.
“It’s good to see you again Danny.” JaeJoong whispers.
“I’m glad you came.”
Your faith was strong,
But you needed proof.
(Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright)
A week comes and goes, and Yunho feels a little lonely again. Summer school is going well, and he has made a few new friends, but he misses JaeJoong terribly. He stares at his phone from time to time and wonders if JaeJoong is okay. He hasn’t received any calls or text messages from the older man, and each time he calls, it takes him directly to JaeJoong’s voicemail.
He’s stirring his lunch with a bored expression, mind wandering off to a certain black haired man that he doesn’t notice Elisa until he unconsciously looks up and finds her sitting in front of him with her chin rested on both of her palms, smile plastered on her face.
Yunho blinks and then jumps, swearing a series of “fuck” and “why the hell did you do that” and “please don’t fucking do that again”, a hand placed to his beating chest. He narrows his eyes but his lips slowly turn upright to a small smile when Elisa laughs and reaches over to poke him on the nose.
“Yah, you can’t blame me. I called your name three times!”
He finally laughs and slaps her hands away when she reaches over and tries to pinch his cheeks.
“It’s good to see you laugh again. Were you thinking of someone special?”
His laugh dies almost immediately and Elisa sends him a concerning look. “Hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“No,” he manages to reply. “It’s - it’s okay. I’m just thinking of-”
“Girlfriend?”
Yunho shifts uncomfortably under her curious stare and starts to feel the heat seep over his cheeks. “Boyfriend,” he quietly mutters but she manages to hear the response.
She looks around and then inches closer to him. “Boyfriend? Really? That’s pretty adorable. I bet he’s like super hot.”
He blushes even more.
You stayed up all night again and waited for me.
You told me with your tears that you think my heart changed.
(Only Look at Me - Taeyang)
JaeJoong looks over his phone and sees the twenty missed calls from Yunho. He feels guilty but instead of calling back, he flips off his phone and throws it onto a nearby bed.
‘Yunho,’ he closes his eyes and sighs, wondering what he should do. Should he call back? A part of him wants to - to explain what’s going on, why he’s even here in Minnesota - but another part of him tells him to wait, that this is not the right time yet.
He grabs a colored paper and a black inked pen and begins to write, pouring out his thoughts and feelings.
“JaeJoong?”
He stops and looks up, smiling gently when he sees the attractive young man. JaeJoong stretches out a hand and motions for him to walk forward. “Come, I need some comforting and someone to keep me company.”
Hello,
Did you eat?
Your whereabouts worries me,
Tell me baby where you at,
Hello.
(Hello - NU’EST)
By the end of the second week, Yunho feels like a desperate, clingy jerk. JaeJoong still hasn’t made any efforts in calling him back - the bastard hasn’t even replied to any of his text messages and he knows how fast the older man can text.
His suspicion grows worse, and he’s dreading each and every passing damn second that maybe, just maybe JaeJoong is having some sort of affair that Yunho does not know about. But that’s stupid, his subconscious tells him. Why would JaeJoong even do that in the first place? The older man may be a jerk at times, but he’s not one to go against his morals.
But still, his heavy heart continues to yearn for the man and the unknown answer. And when the third day of the third week comes by, he is finally fed up with JaeJoong’s bullshit. He storms to Elisa’s place, after calling her on the phone, and asks her what her thoughts are.
“He never replied back? Not once?” She asks thoughtfully and he shakes his head. “I hate to say this but,” she pauses and looks over to her friend. “There’s a slight chance that he may be cheating on you.”
An awkward silence fills the room and Yunho feels the string of hope circle around his heart before it slowly flies and fades away.
Give it back to me,
My heart that you took without knowing.
(Love Sick - TAETISEO)
JaeJoong is a bad man. Isn’t he?
To leave Yunho behind with no answer, no phone calls, no messages. It is not that he does not love the man; in fact, it’s the total opposite. He loves Yunho, loves the stupid man so much that he wishes he was back home. But his responsibility lies here, there are more important matters and he hopes that Yunho will understand.
JaeJoong is sure he is - he will.
‘Just two more days Yunnie.’ He sets his pen down and stares at the green pastel colored paper. ‘Just two more days and I will be home.’ He folds the letter slowly into a paper plane and then places it inside a small brown bag with other multiple colored paper planes.
He feels a hand placed on his shoulder and he closes his eyes. “Daniel,” he whispers.
Just two more days.
Please tell me it’s nothing,
What are you doing there?
Can’t you feel me looking at you?
Looking at you blankly
(Hello - NU’EST)
Yunho had never intended to go to JaeJoong’s house in the first place, but Elisa had insisted.
“He should have been back yesterday right? But he didn’t call you or picked up his phone. Something is up.” She had told him, eyes serious and brows furrowed.
And here he was, making his way to his “boyfriend’s” house to check up on him. He really shouldn’t do this, his subconscious tells him that he’s going to find things that he doesn’t want to know, see things he doesn’t want to see. And true to what his guts were telling him, Yunho pauses from afar to see JaeJoong with a man - hand in hand.
He immediately turns back once they share an intimate hug (it’s too damn close to call it “friendly”). He has seen enough for the day.
I didn’t want it this way
I only wanted to say
I love you
(Disaster - Jojo)
He’s a day late, but he’s back home. JaeJoong and Daniel had missed their flights and were put on standby due to several reasons (mainly because Daniel’s parents were being asses and many people before them had missed their flights).
JaeJoong’s waiting for the perfect time to call Yunho and when he finally dials the familiar number, he feels a little nervous. He waits and then finally, after the third ring, Yunho picks up.
“Yunho! Hey, I -”
“It’s over.”
It’s a sudden and short statement, something JaeJoong wasn’t quite expecting, that leaves him speechless. He opens his mouth and closes it and then opens again and finally utters out, “What, what do you mean?”
“This relationship. We’re done, it’s over.”
I’ve been up for three days
I feel so pathetic
But you still haven’t heard it all
(Marvin’s Room - Jojo)
For the next three days, Yunho goes back to his daily routine. He wakes up early in the morning at five to get ready for school, comes back home at three and works on his homework until six or seven. He tells himself that he won’t allow their break up affect him, tries very hard to move on by talking to Elisa.
But it’s futile. He’s been restless, waking up in the middle of the night with a migraine and a painful throb against his chest. He feels pathetic, and Yunho wonders what really happened, why did they break up in the first place? And then he remembers, JaeJoong and the mysterious man holding hands and hugging.
Maybe they were friends. A voice tells him, but he ignores it, too stubborn to know and too blinded by anger to care.
Just let me show, for the record I know
I make mistakes. I regret what I was willing to face
(Want You Back - Johnny)
Daniel Heu was a troublesome little boy with bright eyes and jet-black hair when JaeJoong met him in first grade. Eventually, they became playmates, running around with color paper airplanes and battling each other with marbles during their recess. JaeJoong remembers the good ol’ days when Daniel would bring packs of marbles for him and Junsu to play.
He flips through another page of his picture album and comes across the last picture he had taken with Daniel when they were kids. It was half way through their second year in elementary school when Daniel had announced his family’s financial problems. He was moving away at the end of second grade.
JaeJoong feels the lump in his throat and he closes the book shut, head leaning back against the wall as he closes his eyes. He loves Daniel to pieces, treats him like a younger brother even though they both know that Daniel is older by a month.
He feels one side of his bed dipping, a calloused hand placed on top of his, and JaeJoong looks at him, smiling through teary eyes. He used to believe that crying was a sign of weakness, of vulnerability, and often held back his emotions. But as Daniel reaches forward to pull him into a hug, JaeJoong realizes it’s too much.
“I’m a horrible person right?” He whispers thickly, burying his nose into his friend’s black shirt. “I should have called him, but I didn’t.”
“Jae.”
“I just couldn’t tell him the reason why I left. It wasn’t the right time, but I guess I could have left him one message. Tell him that I was going to be back - that I still loved him…that I will always love him.” He laughs bitterly and pulls away to cover his tear streaked face with his hands.
Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
(Broken Vow - Josh Groban)
Weeks pass before Yunho happens to see JaeJoong again with the man at a nearby grocery store. The man is chattering away while JaeJoong is standing next to him, smiling and nodding in interest, and Yunho feels his whole being begin to shake, his knuckles turning white as he clenches his fist tightly.
He turns at his heels and walks into the opposite direction. He hopes that neither of them has seen him. He doubts that they would have cared anyways.
Listen, I mean it,
There’s nothing that he’s worthy of.
He’s just another player,
Playing in the name of love.
(Get Another Boyfriend - Backstreet Boys)
Elisa Perez likes Jung Yunho. He’s a sweet kid, one who she thinks, is very attractive and has the potential to succeed once out of college. In all honesty, she likes him a bit too much, a mere tall freshman with a charming smile and an infectious laugh. But she knows that Yunho, although in denial right now, is still in love with his best friend, this Kim JaeJoong who has hurt Yunho more than enough times.
There are two sides to this story, but what more does she need when she has heard and witnessed it for herself? Kim JaeJoong is nothing more but a player, someone who is unworthy of Yunho’s love.
She had seen the look on Yunho’s face when they accidentally saw the couple at the grocery store (Yunho didn’t feel like going home and Elisa needed some veggies for dinner). He was at the verge of crying but instead, he smiled and grabbed her by the hand.
“It’s okay,” he had said, reassuring her. “I’ll wait for you outside.”
She only nodded and watched as he slowly walked away, hands in his pockets and head hung low. She had glanced at the couple once more, surprised this time when she recognized the man with red hair.
Thinking back, Elisa wonders how JaeJoong knows Daniel.
Hey, you’re gonna get hurt -
Move, you’re gonna get hurt
Sometimes being too courageous is a problem
(Face - NU’EST)
“Elisa?”
She stops reading and then looks up from her book to see Daniel Heu, her cousin, standing in front of her, dumbfounded. She puts her book down and stands up. “Daniel?”
“Koj ua dab tsi ntawm no?” What are you doing here?
“I’m waiting for the bus.” Elisa tilts her head and crosses her arms over her chest, brows narrowing in confusion. “And I live here. I should be asking you that.”
“I moved down to live with a friend.”
“A friend,” she echoes. “Is this friend of yours named Kim JaeJoong?”
“Yes, but how did you know? Do you know him?”
“I saw you with him the other day.” Elisa swallows away the lump forming in her throat. “You, I can’t believe you’re part of this.”
This time Daniel frowns. “Part of what?”
“JaeJoong had a boyfriend, Jung-”
“Jung Yunho, yeah I know.” Daniel interrupts, and then after taking another good look at Elisa, he gives out a bitter laugh. He finally understands what is going on, knows where this conversation is leading. “Are you fucking kidding me, seriously?”
“What are you talking about?”
Daniel digs into his left pocket and pulls out a small pen along with a ripped piece of paper. He scribbles down what seems like numbers and then leans closer to her face and says in a low voice, “Tell Yunho to meet me at Einstein Park on Sunday.”
He wastes no time and grabs her hand, placing the paper into the center of her palm. “No excuses, not until he has to hear what I have to say about his stupidity.”
You’re the only one who I yearn for.
You were so easy to love,
But wait, I guess that love wasn’t enough.
(Just A Dream - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie)
It has been one month, three weeks, and five days since their break up, and JaeJoong has been making paper airplanes to keep him occupied. He has two whole bags now, filled with paper planes, and he wonders how long he is going to keep writing these letters until Yunho will forgive him again.
He can just always call him, explain the reasons why he did the things he did, but he knows how the younger man is. Yunho is stubborn and once his mind is set on something, he is bound to do it.
“And you’re the only one who I yearn for.” He writes neatly on top of one of the wings of the plane. A drawn heart follows, and JaeJoong places his green-inked pen down before shooting the plane into the air. It flies across his room, landing perfectly on his bed, and JaeJoong wishes how he can send them all to Yunho instead.
I was thinking about you,
Thinking about me, thinking about us,
What we’re going to be,
I open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
(Just A Dream - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie)
Yunho wonders how he manages to survive the last few days of summer school. It’s hectic as hell, quizzes and chapter exams piling one by one, but he is able to pass the math class with a high B. And he’s happy with that even though he feels like shit for personal reasons.
“Daniel Heu is my cousin.” Elisa tells him on the last day as they walk together to a nearby bus stop. He watches as she stops and lowers her gaze, teeth biting on her bottom lip. She seems hesitant, and to be honest, Yunho is a little lost at what she’s talking about. He doesn’t catch on until she brings up JaeJoong’s name.
“The person you saw with JaeJoong the other day was Daniel, my cousin. He’s from Minnesota.”
He frowns and almost tells her to stop when she hands him a crumbled piece of paper. He looks down at it and then looks back up.
“Call him. He says it’s important and I trust his words.”
Yunho dreams of JaeJoong that night, dreams of what of they could have been, should have been, and it felt strangely surreal and bittersweet.
He’s everything you want.
He’s everything you need.
But he means nothing to you,
And I don’t know why.
(Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon)
Yunho wonders what JaeJoong sees in Daniel Heu. Surely the man is attractive (a bit too attractive with striking red hair, piercing chocolate brown eyes, and sun kissed skin - it almost leaves Yunho speechless that such a man can even exist), but what does Daniel have that he doesn’t? With a sigh, Yunho even wonders what possessed him to agree and meet up with the older man.
It’s already a late hot afternoon, nearly three, when Yunho reaches Einstein Park. He straightens his green khaki cap (he didn’t even realize it was the same cap JaeJoong had bought for him last Christmas until he was already fifteen minutes away from his house) before digging his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He looks around for the familiar red haired man but sees nothing and decides to walk over to a nearby bench.
Yunho pulls out his phone and just when he is about to curse at how he’s early by ten minutes, a voice greets him from behind.
“Yo.”
He frowns at the causality the man uses and puts his phone away back into his pockets. He stands up and turns around. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
Daniel smiles a little and shakes his head. “Follow me.”
The small demand pisses him off to be honest and yet he silently obeys. He tries to wait patiently for the other man to explain whatever excuses he has, but the awkward silence is intense. The atmosphere is a little too harsh for Yunho’s liking - probably because he’s a little angry and frustrated and because Daniel is thinking about god knows what.
But just when he is about to open his mouth and confront the older man, Daniel starts in a calm voice, “I understand why you’re mad, and it’s because I’m here and JaeJoong hasn’t given you any reasons.”
It’s enough to throw him off (just a little bit) because this is not what he had expected.
“I’m not here to break you and JaeJoong apart. That was never my plan when I came here to Cali. I can’t tell you why JaeJoong hasn’t replied to any of your messages or phone calls because that’s his business. But I will tell you why I am here and who JaeJoong is to me.
“I love JaeJoong. You see, before you came here, JaeJoong and I were good friends. Even after I moved, we still kept in touch. He told me a lot of things, how life was, how well his family has been, how much he liked you - yes he even mentioned about you - and how much he would love to be with you forever. As cheesy as it sounds, JaeJoong was very happy, even when he mentioned how you were always a pain in the ass because you were too stubborn to admit your feelings for him. And I told him my problems, my situations whenever I needed him. You see Yunho, JaeJoong is like a brother who I’ve always wanted. We can talk about many things, share so many stories that not everyone will know, and it’s a mutual feeling. Did you ever wonder why he went to Minnesota and have me come back with him?”
Yunho swallows the lump away.
“Of course, not. You never gave him the chance to explain himself when he called you.” Daniel stops walking and turns to look at him in the eyes.
“It was because I told him I felt like dying. I couldn’t live anymore because I had finally decided to come out from the fucking closet and tell my parents that I was gay. Not bisexual, but gay. I don’t plan on getting married with a girl and have kids with her.
“My parents are very traditional, and you know how the typical traditional Asian parents are. My parents don’t like homosexuals, and because I pursued in art, they believe I have already shamed them. I became disowned and I felt like life didn’t matter anymore. I attempted suicide once and I failed. Do you know how stupid I felt when I woke up in the hospital to realize that I had failed at dying?
“He came to my aid, Yunho. JaeJoong - he allowed me to stay at his place for as long as I wanted until I was ready to move on. He helped me accept me for who I was and allowed me to stay at his place.
“He’s more than you can ask for Yunho. He’s literally everything a person can ever want and need. Go talk to him. I know JaeJoong is patient, but I also know he’s not willing to wait forever. Don’t let something stupid, like a misunderstanding, break your relationship. It’s not worth it.”
And I forgive you,
For being away for far too long.
So keep breathing,
(Far Away - Nickelback)
Yunho runs to JaeJoong’s house, stopping only a couple of times to catch his breath before resuming. His stupidity and insecurities - he should have listened to that little voice when it said to stop assuming things, to give JaeJoong the chance to explain himself first before jumping into conclusions.
JaeJoong is sitting in front of his house with his eyes closed, probably deep into his thoughts, when Yunho gets there. His knees become weak, heart pounding in his ear and against his chest from the running. He’s a nervous wreck right now, palms starting to sweat (like always when he’s nervous), and Yunho forces himself to walk slowly towards the older man.
He swallows and then, “Hyung.”
“Yunho?” JaeJoong looks up at him in surprised.
“I,” he licks his lips and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “I um - I’m sorry.”
The older man scoffs and shakes his head. He looks into the far distance and then shifts his eyes back at the man standing in front of him and chuckles. “Stupid,” he whispers as he reaches out a hand. Yunho meets him half way and JaeJoong pulls him down into a crushing hug.
“You stupid prick.” He whispers harshly into his hair, fingers digging into the broad shoulders in punishment as he places a wet kiss to his temple.
The corner of his eyes start to sting and he buries his face into his lover’s neck, replying, “I’ve been here, always been here waiting.”
JaeJoong tilts his head and crushes their lips together.
I’m back. I’m here.
‘Cause I’m not leaving you anymore. Believe it.
(Far Away - Nickelback)
“All of these are for me?”
“Yeah dumbass,” JaeJoong insults him as he throws himself on top of his bed, exhausted from the day’s event.
Yunho pouts at the insult but stays quiet about it and pulls out a green colored paper plane, lips curling into a smile.
{I’m finally coming home today. I want to call you so much, but I want to surprise you too. I can’t wait to see you though. I sound a little clingier than I usually do, don’t I? Haha, but it’s okay, I’m sure you’ll be happy to see me when I come to your house later tonight. I read all of your messages today and I miss you a lot too Yunho. I’ll be home soon, I can promise you that. And then I will explain why I have been gone.
I love you.
Jae}
Hold onto me, and never let me go.
Keep breathing ‘cause I’m not leaving you anymore.
Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go.
(Far Away - Nickelback)
……………………………………
Author's Note: I finished. OMFG. THIS was just as annoying as the first part of the verse. It wouldn’t leave me alone and well - fuck - whenever I tried to write it, it wouldn’t work out. I had to read it multiple times to get it close to what I want. Still, it is a 180 turn from what I planned out, but I guess it’s fine.
I honestly don’t miss this pairing at all (I don’t want to read anything about them hell even WRITE anything about them) so imagine me writing this. Yeah, I was bemoaning to myself and asking why Mr. JaeHo-muse won’t leave me the hell alone. It’s pretty painful. *Sighs* if only there were a few more JaeHo fics, maybe then, I wouldn’t be complaining. BLAH; I’m never satisfied.
In case you are wondering why JaeJoong never called, I'll leave that up to your detailed imagination. My interpretation as the writer: there are some things in life that can wait, miscommunication is bound to happen. But there's always a reason behind every act. This is one of them.
This is slightly based off from my best friend's situation when she and her boyfriend first got together. Everything else is a little slice of life and the imagination of a low-life college student.
The language Daniel Heu used was Hmong.
And to those of you who are thinking, am I going to write another shot? My answer is IDK. To be honest, I really don't, but apparently, whatever comes to my mind won't leave me the fuck alone until I finish it. So as a warning, don't get your hopes up too high 'cause I can't promise that I will continue this, but it's not impossible either. Never know what’s going to happen with my corrupted muses around.
(I LOVE NU'EST'S NEW SONG, HELLO. IT'S SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. IT WAS WHAT INSPIRED ME TO FINISH THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.)
Comments are loved & appreciated.
Genre: AU High School/College
Rating: Soft R
Pairing: JaeHo
Length: 5038 W [excluding lyrics]
Warning: Profanity, Unbeta-ed, & it's JaeHo
Summary: They were supposed to take summer classes together, but JaeJoong has other plans. And when he returns from his three week trip, he doesn’t come back home alone.
Disclaimer: I owe nothing but the story and the fictional characters, Daniel Heu and Elisa Perez. If any of these names happen to be someone, it's pure coincidence.
Important Note: I can’t force anyone to go back and read Paper Stars (For You) before reading this because apparently I don’t have that ability. But keep in mind that if your brain cells get fucked up and you become confused, you can’t say that didn’t I warn you. Enjoy.
Give me a reason
Why I can’t feel my heart
Every time you leave me side
I just fall apart
(I Miss You - Darren Hayes)
Yunho always knew he was a romanticist. Even back in the days when he was with Abigail Riley, he was the one who was stealing quick kisses when the teachers weren’t looking. The one who was demanding for her to make him a lunch box with hearts and “I love you-s” written over his eggs and sausages in ketchup. And even though they had broken up with a mutual agreement, remained friends throughout the next following years, he was the one who felt miserable, unhappy whenever she wasn’t around.
So when JaeJoong tells him he will be going away to Minnesota for three weeks, Yunho is feeling a lot more than just sad and longing. ‘We were supposed to take our summer classes together.’
He tries (very, very hard) not to be clinging because insecurities doesn’t make this relationship (and others) any stronger, but there’s this nasty feeling coiled in his stomach. It makes him feel uneasy, almost nauseated, and he wonders if it’s because JaeJoong hasn’t given him any explanation as to why he was leaving, or if he hasn’t left JaeJoong’s side ever since they got together.
It’s devastating if you asked him.
You’re a shooting star I see
A vision of ecstasy
When you hold me, I’m alive
(Diamonds - Rihanna)
“Ngh, yes,” Yunho groans and throws his head back into the fluffed pillows, fingers digging into the soft sheets, when JaeJoong takes one of his sensitive nipples into his warm mouth, firmly tweaking the other one with his playful fingers. He murmurs of more and please, and when JaeJoong jerks his hips forward, Yunho sees stars. He immediately wraps his arms and legs around JaeJoong’s neck and torso as JaeJoong hauls him up onto his lap.
Eyes half lidded, he stares down at the older man before leaning forward to kiss him on the lips. He shifts his hips, rising up on his knees and then slamming back down, and it’s enough to cause both him and his lover to shudder in immense pleasure. He feels so full, so fucked - so undeniably good. Lips press against the pulse of his neck and he shivers, letting out a sharp cry when he hits the perfect angle.
Yunho meets JaeJoong’s every thrust, pressing his hands against JaeJoong’s chest as he rides him slowly. He’s a beautiful sight, JaeJoong thinks, each time he arcs his back into him, and emits pleasurable sounds and words of “please”, “yes”, “hyung”, and “god”. JaeJoong opens his eyes and watches as Yunho cups his face and leans forward and kisses him with teeth, tongue, and wetness.
JaeJoong fills him up first, hands pressing tightly to his back and teeth nibbling on his ear. “I love you,” he hears JaeJoong whisper as he closes his eyes and feels a hand snake over his shaft. “Come, I want to see you.” JaeJoong bites a sensitive spot on his neck and jerks his wrist, and Yunho spills over JaeJoong’s hand and on to their bodies, mouth gapping, as his body goes taut.
He snuggles up against JaeJoong’s chest, arms wrapped protectively around his waist, once they’re cleaned and covered up in the older man’s warm blankets. He presses his ear to JaeJoong’s heart and listens to the man’s heartbeat.
Please don’t go. Yunho wants to mutter out but only wraps his arms tighter around the torso.
I’ll be back, I promise.
Promises are meant to be broken though.
Only promises I can’t keep. JaeJoong plants a reassuring kiss on his forehead, and he closes his eyes as he feels a faint tear trace down the sideline of his face.
And I walk steady on my feet
I talk, my voice obeys me
(My Hands - Leona Lewis)
“I’ll be back in three weeks time alright?” JaeJoong explains as he bends over to grab his suitcase.
Yunho throws an arm over JaeJoong’s shoulders and waves his right hand in the air. “Go and leave me alone. You bother me too much when you’re here.”
The older man laughs. “Be good while I’m gone kid. And don’t be late on your first day of math tomorrow.”
Yunho nods and places his chin on JaeJoong’s shoulder. He sniffs a little and turns his nose, burying his face into the crook of his lover’s neck. He breathes in JaeJoong’s scent (coffee and smoke and a hint of sweet vanilla) and mumbles, “I’m going to miss you.”
He closes his eyes when he feels a hand placed on his head, fingers digging into his hair and scratching his scalp in comfort. Yunho leans closer into the touch and presses his head a little firmer against the palm and fingers. “Please be safe and hurry back.”
“I will.”
Yunho lets go and watches silently as JaeJoong walks away. He unconsciously lifts up his hand and rubs the left side of his chest. He sighs and waits for a good five minutes before turning around and walks into the opposite direction.
I can almost see you
(I Can Almost See You - Hammock)
He dreams of millions of color spotted lights with intense reds and yellows and oranges. And then he dreams of a dark shade of red splashed onto a black wall. It scares him because he thinks he sees a figure forming, a head turning and fingers reaching out to grasp his arm. But just when he can finally see who it is, the form dissolves and everything (every color and every visible spot of light) changes and disappears.
“Yunho,” a female voice whispers, and Yunho jerks awake to find himself covered in sweat.
Sitting up in bed, he looks around, confused because he can’t remember what he dreamt of. But it’s something - what, he’s not sure, but it’s something. He places a hand to calm his beating heart and takes a couple of deep breaths before lying back down on his bed. Closing his eyes, he sleeps once again.
Today, it seems lonely.
Say hello, there are still so many things left unsaid.
(Good-bye, Hello - TAETISEO)
The first day of summer math isn’t as bad as Yunho had thought it would be. Besides the fact that he has to wake up at five every morning, he actually looks forward to it.
There’s a very pretty girl in Yunho’s math class with red auburn boyish-cut hair and golden brown eyes. He loves how she smiles at him, and she has this attractive swag whenever she walks into the room. It’s almost as if she’s telling the world she’s confident about herself. And Yunho likes that in a girl. To be honest, that’s what he likes about her the most. It’s not everyday he gets to see a pretty girl with confidence, and it’s definitely not the stuck up “I’m the bitch” attitude either.
By the fourth day of summer school, Yunho finally remembers her name and knows how to spell it correctly (he sounds like a total creeper, but at this moment, he doesn’t really care). And on the fifth day, Elisa Nkauj Hli (Moon Girl) Perez surprises Yunho by sitting in front of his desk and turns to face him with a bright smile on her lips. “Hi, I’m Elisa Perez, and I’m half Asian. And you?”
“My name is Yunho Jung, and I’m Korean?”
“You’re not sure?”
He blushes when she giggles behind her hand. Yunho pushes the thought of how the small gesture reminds him of JaeJoong, and he clears out his throat to repeat himself a little more confidently, “My name is Yunho Jung and I’m Korean.”
Elisa nods and leans a little closer as she rests her chin on her palm. “You’re a cute kid - freshman?”
“Yeah. Is it that…obvious? How’d you know?”
“Nah, it was just a correct guess. I’m a sophomore going onto a junior this semester.”
Yunho nods. “You said you’re half Asian - what is it?”
She chuckles. “I’m part Hispanic and part Hmong, but I take after my mom. So,” she pauses and then continues, “tell me something about you.”
School has never been as interesting as this.
Good Morning
(Good Morning - Message to Bears)
Minnesota is different.
The humid air is sickening, suffocating that leaves JaeJoong gasping for air when he steps foot out of the plane. But nevertheless, he is here, safe and sound.
After he checks in, JaeJoong looks around for a red haired man, eyes scanning through the crowded airport.
“Jae!” A familiar deep voice shouts from behind and he turns around to see his long time friend.
JaeJoong smiles and opens his arms, embracing him immediately when the man reaches his side. He places a kiss on top of his head and hugs him tighter when he feels the shoulders start to shake, the obvious wet tears on his left shoulder.
“It’s good to see you again Danny.” JaeJoong whispers.
“I’m glad you came.”
Your faith was strong,
But you needed proof.
(Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright)
A week comes and goes, and Yunho feels a little lonely again. Summer school is going well, and he has made a few new friends, but he misses JaeJoong terribly. He stares at his phone from time to time and wonders if JaeJoong is okay. He hasn’t received any calls or text messages from the older man, and each time he calls, it takes him directly to JaeJoong’s voicemail.
He’s stirring his lunch with a bored expression, mind wandering off to a certain black haired man that he doesn’t notice Elisa until he unconsciously looks up and finds her sitting in front of him with her chin rested on both of her palms, smile plastered on her face.
Yunho blinks and then jumps, swearing a series of “fuck” and “why the hell did you do that” and “please don’t fucking do that again”, a hand placed to his beating chest. He narrows his eyes but his lips slowly turn upright to a small smile when Elisa laughs and reaches over to poke him on the nose.
“Yah, you can’t blame me. I called your name three times!”
He finally laughs and slaps her hands away when she reaches over and tries to pinch his cheeks.
“It’s good to see you laugh again. Were you thinking of someone special?”
His laugh dies almost immediately and Elisa sends him a concerning look. “Hey, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that.”
“No,” he manages to reply. “It’s - it’s okay. I’m just thinking of-”
“Girlfriend?”
Yunho shifts uncomfortably under her curious stare and starts to feel the heat seep over his cheeks. “Boyfriend,” he quietly mutters but she manages to hear the response.
She looks around and then inches closer to him. “Boyfriend? Really? That’s pretty adorable. I bet he’s like super hot.”
He blushes even more.
You stayed up all night again and waited for me.
You told me with your tears that you think my heart changed.
(Only Look at Me - Taeyang)
JaeJoong looks over his phone and sees the twenty missed calls from Yunho. He feels guilty but instead of calling back, he flips off his phone and throws it onto a nearby bed.
‘Yunho,’ he closes his eyes and sighs, wondering what he should do. Should he call back? A part of him wants to - to explain what’s going on, why he’s even here in Minnesota - but another part of him tells him to wait, that this is not the right time yet.
He grabs a colored paper and a black inked pen and begins to write, pouring out his thoughts and feelings.
“JaeJoong?”
He stops and looks up, smiling gently when he sees the attractive young man. JaeJoong stretches out a hand and motions for him to walk forward. “Come, I need some comforting and someone to keep me company.”
Hello,
Did you eat?
Your whereabouts worries me,
Tell me baby where you at,
Hello.
(Hello - NU’EST)
By the end of the second week, Yunho feels like a desperate, clingy jerk. JaeJoong still hasn’t made any efforts in calling him back - the bastard hasn’t even replied to any of his text messages and he knows how fast the older man can text.
His suspicion grows worse, and he’s dreading each and every passing damn second that maybe, just maybe JaeJoong is having some sort of affair that Yunho does not know about. But that’s stupid, his subconscious tells him. Why would JaeJoong even do that in the first place? The older man may be a jerk at times, but he’s not one to go against his morals.
But still, his heavy heart continues to yearn for the man and the unknown answer. And when the third day of the third week comes by, he is finally fed up with JaeJoong’s bullshit. He storms to Elisa’s place, after calling her on the phone, and asks her what her thoughts are.
“He never replied back? Not once?” She asks thoughtfully and he shakes his head. “I hate to say this but,” she pauses and looks over to her friend. “There’s a slight chance that he may be cheating on you.”
An awkward silence fills the room and Yunho feels the string of hope circle around his heart before it slowly flies and fades away.
Give it back to me,
My heart that you took without knowing.
(Love Sick - TAETISEO)
JaeJoong is a bad man. Isn’t he?
To leave Yunho behind with no answer, no phone calls, no messages. It is not that he does not love the man; in fact, it’s the total opposite. He loves Yunho, loves the stupid man so much that he wishes he was back home. But his responsibility lies here, there are more important matters and he hopes that Yunho will understand.
JaeJoong is sure he is - he will.
‘Just two more days Yunnie.’ He sets his pen down and stares at the green pastel colored paper. ‘Just two more days and I will be home.’ He folds the letter slowly into a paper plane and then places it inside a small brown bag with other multiple colored paper planes.
He feels a hand placed on his shoulder and he closes his eyes. “Daniel,” he whispers.
Just two more days.
Please tell me it’s nothing,
What are you doing there?
Can’t you feel me looking at you?
Looking at you blankly
(Hello - NU’EST)
Yunho had never intended to go to JaeJoong’s house in the first place, but Elisa had insisted.
“He should have been back yesterday right? But he didn’t call you or picked up his phone. Something is up.” She had told him, eyes serious and brows furrowed.
And here he was, making his way to his “boyfriend’s” house to check up on him. He really shouldn’t do this, his subconscious tells him that he’s going to find things that he doesn’t want to know, see things he doesn’t want to see. And true to what his guts were telling him, Yunho pauses from afar to see JaeJoong with a man - hand in hand.
He immediately turns back once they share an intimate hug (it’s too damn close to call it “friendly”). He has seen enough for the day.
I didn’t want it this way
I only wanted to say
I love you
(Disaster - Jojo)
He’s a day late, but he’s back home. JaeJoong and Daniel had missed their flights and were put on standby due to several reasons (mainly because Daniel’s parents were being asses and many people before them had missed their flights).
JaeJoong’s waiting for the perfect time to call Yunho and when he finally dials the familiar number, he feels a little nervous. He waits and then finally, after the third ring, Yunho picks up.
“Yunho! Hey, I -”
“It’s over.”
It’s a sudden and short statement, something JaeJoong wasn’t quite expecting, that leaves him speechless. He opens his mouth and closes it and then opens again and finally utters out, “What, what do you mean?”
“This relationship. We’re done, it’s over.”
I’ve been up for three days
I feel so pathetic
But you still haven’t heard it all
(Marvin’s Room - Jojo)
For the next three days, Yunho goes back to his daily routine. He wakes up early in the morning at five to get ready for school, comes back home at three and works on his homework until six or seven. He tells himself that he won’t allow their break up affect him, tries very hard to move on by talking to Elisa.
But it’s futile. He’s been restless, waking up in the middle of the night with a migraine and a painful throb against his chest. He feels pathetic, and Yunho wonders what really happened, why did they break up in the first place? And then he remembers, JaeJoong and the mysterious man holding hands and hugging.
Maybe they were friends. A voice tells him, but he ignores it, too stubborn to know and too blinded by anger to care.
Just let me show, for the record I know
I make mistakes. I regret what I was willing to face
(Want You Back - Johnny)
Daniel Heu was a troublesome little boy with bright eyes and jet-black hair when JaeJoong met him in first grade. Eventually, they became playmates, running around with color paper airplanes and battling each other with marbles during their recess. JaeJoong remembers the good ol’ days when Daniel would bring packs of marbles for him and Junsu to play.
He flips through another page of his picture album and comes across the last picture he had taken with Daniel when they were kids. It was half way through their second year in elementary school when Daniel had announced his family’s financial problems. He was moving away at the end of second grade.
JaeJoong feels the lump in his throat and he closes the book shut, head leaning back against the wall as he closes his eyes. He loves Daniel to pieces, treats him like a younger brother even though they both know that Daniel is older by a month.
He feels one side of his bed dipping, a calloused hand placed on top of his, and JaeJoong looks at him, smiling through teary eyes. He used to believe that crying was a sign of weakness, of vulnerability, and often held back his emotions. But as Daniel reaches forward to pull him into a hug, JaeJoong realizes it’s too much.
“I’m a horrible person right?” He whispers thickly, burying his nose into his friend’s black shirt. “I should have called him, but I didn’t.”
“Jae.”
“I just couldn’t tell him the reason why I left. It wasn’t the right time, but I guess I could have left him one message. Tell him that I was going to be back - that I still loved him…that I will always love him.” He laughs bitterly and pulls away to cover his tear streaked face with his hands.
Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
(Broken Vow - Josh Groban)
Weeks pass before Yunho happens to see JaeJoong again with the man at a nearby grocery store. The man is chattering away while JaeJoong is standing next to him, smiling and nodding in interest, and Yunho feels his whole being begin to shake, his knuckles turning white as he clenches his fist tightly.
He turns at his heels and walks into the opposite direction. He hopes that neither of them has seen him. He doubts that they would have cared anyways.
Listen, I mean it,
There’s nothing that he’s worthy of.
He’s just another player,
Playing in the name of love.
(Get Another Boyfriend - Backstreet Boys)
Elisa Perez likes Jung Yunho. He’s a sweet kid, one who she thinks, is very attractive and has the potential to succeed once out of college. In all honesty, she likes him a bit too much, a mere tall freshman with a charming smile and an infectious laugh. But she knows that Yunho, although in denial right now, is still in love with his best friend, this Kim JaeJoong who has hurt Yunho more than enough times.
There are two sides to this story, but what more does she need when she has heard and witnessed it for herself? Kim JaeJoong is nothing more but a player, someone who is unworthy of Yunho’s love.
She had seen the look on Yunho’s face when they accidentally saw the couple at the grocery store (Yunho didn’t feel like going home and Elisa needed some veggies for dinner). He was at the verge of crying but instead, he smiled and grabbed her by the hand.
“It’s okay,” he had said, reassuring her. “I’ll wait for you outside.”
She only nodded and watched as he slowly walked away, hands in his pockets and head hung low. She had glanced at the couple once more, surprised this time when she recognized the man with red hair.
Thinking back, Elisa wonders how JaeJoong knows Daniel.
Hey, you’re gonna get hurt -
Move, you’re gonna get hurt
Sometimes being too courageous is a problem
(Face - NU’EST)
“Elisa?”
She stops reading and then looks up from her book to see Daniel Heu, her cousin, standing in front of her, dumbfounded. She puts her book down and stands up. “Daniel?”
“Koj ua dab tsi ntawm no?” What are you doing here?
“I’m waiting for the bus.” Elisa tilts her head and crosses her arms over her chest, brows narrowing in confusion. “And I live here. I should be asking you that.”
“I moved down to live with a friend.”
“A friend,” she echoes. “Is this friend of yours named Kim JaeJoong?”
“Yes, but how did you know? Do you know him?”
“I saw you with him the other day.” Elisa swallows away the lump forming in her throat. “You, I can’t believe you’re part of this.”
This time Daniel frowns. “Part of what?”
“JaeJoong had a boyfriend, Jung-”
“Jung Yunho, yeah I know.” Daniel interrupts, and then after taking another good look at Elisa, he gives out a bitter laugh. He finally understands what is going on, knows where this conversation is leading. “Are you fucking kidding me, seriously?”
“What are you talking about?”
Daniel digs into his left pocket and pulls out a small pen along with a ripped piece of paper. He scribbles down what seems like numbers and then leans closer to her face and says in a low voice, “Tell Yunho to meet me at Einstein Park on Sunday.”
He wastes no time and grabs her hand, placing the paper into the center of her palm. “No excuses, not until he has to hear what I have to say about his stupidity.”
You’re the only one who I yearn for.
You were so easy to love,
But wait, I guess that love wasn’t enough.
(Just A Dream - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie)
It has been one month, three weeks, and five days since their break up, and JaeJoong has been making paper airplanes to keep him occupied. He has two whole bags now, filled with paper planes, and he wonders how long he is going to keep writing these letters until Yunho will forgive him again.
He can just always call him, explain the reasons why he did the things he did, but he knows how the younger man is. Yunho is stubborn and once his mind is set on something, he is bound to do it.
“And you’re the only one who I yearn for.” He writes neatly on top of one of the wings of the plane. A drawn heart follows, and JaeJoong places his green-inked pen down before shooting the plane into the air. It flies across his room, landing perfectly on his bed, and JaeJoong wishes how he can send them all to Yunho instead.
I was thinking about you,
Thinking about me, thinking about us,
What we’re going to be,
I open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
(Just A Dream - Sam Tsui & Christina Grimmie)
Yunho wonders how he manages to survive the last few days of summer school. It’s hectic as hell, quizzes and chapter exams piling one by one, but he is able to pass the math class with a high B. And he’s happy with that even though he feels like shit for personal reasons.
“Daniel Heu is my cousin.” Elisa tells him on the last day as they walk together to a nearby bus stop. He watches as she stops and lowers her gaze, teeth biting on her bottom lip. She seems hesitant, and to be honest, Yunho is a little lost at what she’s talking about. He doesn’t catch on until she brings up JaeJoong’s name.
“The person you saw with JaeJoong the other day was Daniel, my cousin. He’s from Minnesota.”
He frowns and almost tells her to stop when she hands him a crumbled piece of paper. He looks down at it and then looks back up.
“Call him. He says it’s important and I trust his words.”
Yunho dreams of JaeJoong that night, dreams of what of they could have been, should have been, and it felt strangely surreal and bittersweet.
He’s everything you want.
He’s everything you need.
But he means nothing to you,
And I don’t know why.
(Everything You Want - Vertical Horizon)
Yunho wonders what JaeJoong sees in Daniel Heu. Surely the man is attractive (a bit too attractive with striking red hair, piercing chocolate brown eyes, and sun kissed skin - it almost leaves Yunho speechless that such a man can even exist), but what does Daniel have that he doesn’t? With a sigh, Yunho even wonders what possessed him to agree and meet up with the older man.
It’s already a late hot afternoon, nearly three, when Yunho reaches Einstein Park. He straightens his green khaki cap (he didn’t even realize it was the same cap JaeJoong had bought for him last Christmas until he was already fifteen minutes away from his house) before digging his hands into the pockets of his jeans. He looks around for the familiar red haired man but sees nothing and decides to walk over to a nearby bench.
Yunho pulls out his phone and just when he is about to curse at how he’s early by ten minutes, a voice greets him from behind.
“Yo.”
He frowns at the causality the man uses and puts his phone away back into his pockets. He stands up and turns around. “What did you want to talk to me about?”
Daniel smiles a little and shakes his head. “Follow me.”
The small demand pisses him off to be honest and yet he silently obeys. He tries to wait patiently for the other man to explain whatever excuses he has, but the awkward silence is intense. The atmosphere is a little too harsh for Yunho’s liking - probably because he’s a little angry and frustrated and because Daniel is thinking about god knows what.
But just when he is about to open his mouth and confront the older man, Daniel starts in a calm voice, “I understand why you’re mad, and it’s because I’m here and JaeJoong hasn’t given you any reasons.”
It’s enough to throw him off (just a little bit) because this is not what he had expected.
“I’m not here to break you and JaeJoong apart. That was never my plan when I came here to Cali. I can’t tell you why JaeJoong hasn’t replied to any of your messages or phone calls because that’s his business. But I will tell you why I am here and who JaeJoong is to me.
“I love JaeJoong. You see, before you came here, JaeJoong and I were good friends. Even after I moved, we still kept in touch. He told me a lot of things, how life was, how well his family has been, how much he liked you - yes he even mentioned about you - and how much he would love to be with you forever. As cheesy as it sounds, JaeJoong was very happy, even when he mentioned how you were always a pain in the ass because you were too stubborn to admit your feelings for him. And I told him my problems, my situations whenever I needed him. You see Yunho, JaeJoong is like a brother who I’ve always wanted. We can talk about many things, share so many stories that not everyone will know, and it’s a mutual feeling. Did you ever wonder why he went to Minnesota and have me come back with him?”
Yunho swallows the lump away.
“Of course, not. You never gave him the chance to explain himself when he called you.” Daniel stops walking and turns to look at him in the eyes.
“It was because I told him I felt like dying. I couldn’t live anymore because I had finally decided to come out from the fucking closet and tell my parents that I was gay. Not bisexual, but gay. I don’t plan on getting married with a girl and have kids with her.
“My parents are very traditional, and you know how the typical traditional Asian parents are. My parents don’t like homosexuals, and because I pursued in art, they believe I have already shamed them. I became disowned and I felt like life didn’t matter anymore. I attempted suicide once and I failed. Do you know how stupid I felt when I woke up in the hospital to realize that I had failed at dying?
“He came to my aid, Yunho. JaeJoong - he allowed me to stay at his place for as long as I wanted until I was ready to move on. He helped me accept me for who I was and allowed me to stay at his place.
“He’s more than you can ask for Yunho. He’s literally everything a person can ever want and need. Go talk to him. I know JaeJoong is patient, but I also know he’s not willing to wait forever. Don’t let something stupid, like a misunderstanding, break your relationship. It’s not worth it.”
And I forgive you,
For being away for far too long.
So keep breathing,
(Far Away - Nickelback)
Yunho runs to JaeJoong’s house, stopping only a couple of times to catch his breath before resuming. His stupidity and insecurities - he should have listened to that little voice when it said to stop assuming things, to give JaeJoong the chance to explain himself first before jumping into conclusions.
JaeJoong is sitting in front of his house with his eyes closed, probably deep into his thoughts, when Yunho gets there. His knees become weak, heart pounding in his ear and against his chest from the running. He’s a nervous wreck right now, palms starting to sweat (like always when he’s nervous), and Yunho forces himself to walk slowly towards the older man.
He swallows and then, “Hyung.”
“Yunho?” JaeJoong looks up at him in surprised.
“I,” he licks his lips and shifts his weight from one foot to the other. “I um - I’m sorry.”
The older man scoffs and shakes his head. He looks into the far distance and then shifts his eyes back at the man standing in front of him and chuckles. “Stupid,” he whispers as he reaches out a hand. Yunho meets him half way and JaeJoong pulls him down into a crushing hug.
“You stupid prick.” He whispers harshly into his hair, fingers digging into the broad shoulders in punishment as he places a wet kiss to his temple.
The corner of his eyes start to sting and he buries his face into his lover’s neck, replying, “I’ve been here, always been here waiting.”
JaeJoong tilts his head and crushes their lips together.
I’m back. I’m here.
‘Cause I’m not leaving you anymore. Believe it.
(Far Away - Nickelback)
“All of these are for me?”
“Yeah dumbass,” JaeJoong insults him as he throws himself on top of his bed, exhausted from the day’s event.
Yunho pouts at the insult but stays quiet about it and pulls out a green colored paper plane, lips curling into a smile.
{I’m finally coming home today. I want to call you so much, but I want to surprise you too. I can’t wait to see you though. I sound a little clingier than I usually do, don’t I? Haha, but it’s okay, I’m sure you’ll be happy to see me when I come to your house later tonight. I read all of your messages today and I miss you a lot too Yunho. I’ll be home soon, I can promise you that. And then I will explain why I have been gone.
I love you.
Jae}
Hold onto me, and never let me go.
Keep breathing ‘cause I’m not leaving you anymore.
Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go.
(Far Away - Nickelback)
……………………………………
Author's Note: I finished. OMFG. THIS was just as annoying as the first part of the verse. It wouldn’t leave me alone and well - fuck - whenever I tried to write it, it wouldn’t work out. I had to read it multiple times to get it close to what I want. Still, it is a 180 turn from what I planned out, but I guess it’s fine.
I honestly don’t miss this pairing at all (I don’t want to read anything about them hell even WRITE anything about them) so imagine me writing this. Yeah, I was bemoaning to myself and asking why Mr. JaeHo-muse won’t leave me the hell alone. It’s pretty painful. *Sighs* if only there were a few more JaeHo fics, maybe then, I wouldn’t be complaining. BLAH; I’m never satisfied.
In case you are wondering why JaeJoong never called, I'll leave that up to your detailed imagination. My interpretation as the writer: there are some things in life that can wait, miscommunication is bound to happen. But there's always a reason behind every act. This is one of them.
This is slightly based off from my best friend's situation when she and her boyfriend first got together. Everything else is a little slice of life and the imagination of a low-life college student.
The language Daniel Heu used was Hmong.
And to those of you who are thinking, am I going to write another shot? My answer is IDK. To be honest, I really don't, but apparently, whatever comes to my mind won't leave me the fuck alone until I finish it. So as a warning, don't get your hopes up too high 'cause I can't promise that I will continue this, but it's not impossible either. Never know what’s going to happen with my corrupted muses around.
(I LOVE NU'EST'S NEW SONG, HELLO. IT'S SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL. IT WAS WHAT INSPIRED ME TO FINISH THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL.)
Comments are loved & appreciated.