Three Inches
Title: Three Inches (Away From Heaven)
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeMin / JaeSu
Length: 3105 Words (Excluding side lyrics)
Warning: Unbeta-ed
Summary: The more I miss you, the farther you are. Let’s go to a place, faraway, where we can stay together forever and forever.
Disclaimer: Snatched the title from the song called Three Inches of Heaven (Bu Bu Jing Xin/Startling by Each Step OST). Songs & Lyrics belong to their rightful owners. JYJ/HoMin belongs to themselves. Story is mine.
Author’s Note: Cause I desperately need my muses back and realized (after rereading the first half finished reading of Awoken’s OWL) that I fucken miss JaeMin. Moirai is just another fancy word for The Fates. Enjoy.
{It is the fault of time that we could only miss each other.
The more I miss you, the farther you are}
(A Persistent Thought - Hu Ge & Alan)
o5. The Beginning:
It is the fault of time.
(He stares at the couple through a mirror as he threads a white woven string. “Beautiful,” he says to no one in particular, but his brothers hum in agreement. “But it’s a pity.” He almost feels sorry for them, but he’s the moirai who spins the thread of human life. It’s his job; he was born to create the life of a man, and the Moirai never feels sorry for the decisions they make.
Even if it means he gets to decide the death of a man.
Time and Death watches in silent as Life spins the white thread of their new victim, both smiling when Life decides the ultimate ending for the man named Kim JaeJoong.
A slow smile tugs at the corner of Life’s lips, and his eyes twinkle in delight when the mirror cracks.)
`
The first time he opens his eyes he finds himself in a surreal dream, high up in the mountains with a messy brown haired man. The man gives him a beautiful smile (a smile that only he gets to see), and he reaches out a hand, eyes mismatched and shining with hope and love. And JaeJoong takes his hand with no hesitation, laughing as Changmin quickly leads them through a rocky pathway as if he knows what he is doing - knows where they are going.
They soon come to a stop, but before JaeJoong can utter a sound, Changmin turns around and tugs him closer. He places a hand on his back and leans forward, kissing him lightly on the lips. JaeJoong’s eyes close instantly as Changmin’s other hand reaches and cups his cheek, caressing the ivory skin with his thumb.
It’s a beautiful dream that doesn’t last long because the second time JaeJoong opens his eyes, he finds himself in a hazy white room. He blinks a couple of times for the blurriness in his eyes to go away.
JaeJoong hears a constant beep from above his head, and he slowly turns, brows narrowing and lips frowning. A heart monitor? An IV machine?
He tries to push himself up with his elbows, but stops when he catches sight of a beautiful blond-haired man standing a few feet away from his bed. His dark chocolate eyes were rimmed with black liner, and he was dressed in an all-white suit. JaeJoong wonders if he’s an angel. No, he’s not human, he decides minutes later, he’s an angel.
“No.”
JaeJoong’s eyes widen and his mouth opens a little when the beautiful blond answers, staring directly into his eyes with a cold expression, “I’m not human. And I’m not an angel either.”
o4. The Truth:
In a blink of an eye,
One persistent thought
Is fated to disappear.
Five days has gone by.
He knows why the non-living being (if that is what you would call him) is there, knows that he doesn’t have much time left before his body decides to shut down on him. But how much longer does he have left? He doesn’t know and that is what pisses him off.
JaeJoong glares down at the white blankets, hands clenching into the bed sheets.
“Junsu.”
He shifts his gaze. “Is that your name?”
Junsu nods his head. Long minutes pass until JaeJoong finally gets the courage to ask, “Why are you here?”
“You’ll need someone to accompany you when you leave.”
JaeJoong scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest.
“You’re dying.” Junsu simply says with no interest, and JaeJoong flinches slightly at the tone and words.
Closing his eyes, JaeJoong locks his jaws together and tries to breathe slowly through his nose. He ponders on how long he has left to spend time with his friends and family. And Changmin, he thinks. He opens his mouth but nothing comes out, and for once (strangely and somehow) Junsu feels sorry.
He walks over and places a comforting hand over JaeJoong’s. “It’s not much longer,” he starts, “not much longer before I have to take you to where other souls rest in peace.”
Somewhere deep inside of JaeJoong breaks.
`
(Time twirls his fingers around his blood red hair as he watches the scene play out before him. He is surprised that the mortal is taking the news calmly. “Too calmly,” he mutters in frustration until he finally sees the small flinch the man makes.
His fingers immediately stop seconds later, and he steps closer to the mirror for a better view. He frowns, eyes narrowing at the odd expression on Junsu’s face, before cursing under his breath.
This was not supposed to happen.)
o3. The Time:
It’s too late…
“You’re so pale lately,” Changmin says worriedly one day. “Are you getting sick?”
JaeJoong chuckles and waves it off, mumbling about “a cold of some sort”, before throwing an arm over his lover’s shoulder. “Let’s go.” He leads them in the direction of the sea.
`
“Come, give me your hand.”
Changmin holds back a giggle and reaches for JaeJoong’s hand as he pulls himself up. He steps on one of the rocks and easily makes it to the top of the boardwalk.
“We’re on top of the world!” He shouts out excitedly as if he was on top of a mountain and JaeJoong laughs when he flails his arms around.
He catches one of Changmin’s arms and tugs the younger man towards him, snaking his hands around his lover’s waist. “You are such a dork.” He comments as he presses his forehead against his, and Changmin feels his heart skip a beat (like always) when JaeJoong gives him a beautiful smile. “Look up at the sky.” JaeJoong whispers seconds later and Changmin does, breathing out an “aw” when he catches sight of the scenery above them.
The sky was painted of a light blue with white spots of clouds here and there.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” JaeJoong asks in a quiet voice, and Changmin turns to look at him, nodding. He steps away from JaeJoong and shifts his gaze to look up at the sky again.
“It is as if we are almost there, in heaven.” Changmin breathes. “So close yet so far.”
JaeJoong’s chest hurts a little at the words and his smile falters a bit. But he shakes off the bitter feeling and walks up to Changmin. He rests his chin on top of his left shoulder and watches the clouds move across the sky-blue horizon. “Best not to meet, best not to miss you. Only this way I will not fall for you. Another step and I brush past you. And step by step, I fall for you.” JaeJoong sings quietly, an octave lower, as he lifts up a hand into the air.
Changmin follows the same movement and slowly trails his fingers over JaeJoong’s hand before linking their fingers together. “It is the fault of time that we could only miss each other. The amount that I miss you is how far you are.” Changmin finishes it with a whisper before turning his head and captures JaeJoong’s lips.
`
(Death looks away from the mirror and flashes himself to Time’s room.
“He’s different.” He says deadpanned as he looks down at the pearl-white marbled floor.
Life snorts at the comment. “You’re getting involved in something that should not mean anything to you.”
Time tilts his head cutely to the side and raises a curious brow. “How so?” He observes closely, watching with dark eyes as Death’s hands slowly clenches and unclenches.
“He doesn’t regret dying. Doesn’t ask, shout, yell, or curse. He is accepting his death with wide open arms. And it doesn’t fucken make any sense because…”
Death stops abruptly, interrupting his own sentence with a bitter laugh. He doesn’t know what is going on anymore. Doesn’t know what is right from wrong.)
`
It has been a week, two days, six hours, and fifty-four minutes since Junsu has last seen JaeJoong. On the fourth day (of the second week) he decides to pay the man a visit. This time with news the man will want to know about.
“Three days.” He says quietly.
JaeJoong covers his eyes with his right arm, lips forming into a straight line.
Junsu waits patiently for an outburst from the man, but he receives nothing and it almost scares him. How can he be so fucken calmed after knowing he only has three days to live?
He turns his head and sees JaeJoong sitting up in bed (this time) with his arms crossed over his chest and a pitiful smile on his lips. He blushes seconds later, realizing he must have said his thoughts out loud.
“I can’t leave him.” JaeJoong finally confesses after minutes of silence. “I don’t want to leave Changmin alone.” He pauses and leans back against the wall, head tilting up towards the ceiling so he can push back the tears. His voice is still strong as he continues.
“Ten years, Junsu. If there’s anything I can’t do - it is to leave Changmin alone. I can’t stand him hurt. Can’t stand to see, feel, the pain he will feel. Ah but death, death is bound to happen sooner or later isn’t it?
“My life has never been perfect, but one thing is for sure. I don’t regret meeting Changmin. What we had - these ten years - I am glad to have experienced it with him. And that’s probably the main reason why I can accept the fact that I am dying with open arms.
“What I have for him is love, Junsu. Something I am sure you won’t be able to understand because you are not meant to feel it. And it is sad isn’t it? To accept the inevitable doom because you can’t control it.”
He stops breathing, eyes widening, when JaeJoong finally looks at him with the same pitiful smile and stare. “Because you were never the one who started this. I should have known, Junsu, from the beginning when you showed up.”
‘Shit, is he talking about…’ His throat becomes dry at the words and he suddenly feels so fucken small. ‘Oh God, he knows about my weakness.’
“What,” Junsu licks his lips nervously as he shifts from one foot to the other, needing to know if his assumptions were correct. “What are you-”
“I know who you are now, and tell me, it’s sad isn’t it? To want to change something you have no control of.”
o2. The Lie:
I stopped here,
Not daring to move any further,
Hoping that I can stop the grieving
From surfacing.
(“One more day.” Death pleads. “That’s all I am asking.”
Time crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head.)
`
JaeJoong wipes his eyes and face and takes a deep breath before raising a fist to knock on Changmin’s door.
The door opens not too long afterwards, and he is greeted with a warm smile. “Morning hyung, come in.”
JaeJoong smiles back but shakes his head, and Changmin frowns. “What’s wrong?”
“Let’s go out somewhere.”
“Oh, okay.” Changmin slips out of his slippers and puts on his shoes. “Where to?”
JaeJoong ponders for a moment before sliding his hand over his lover’s waist and whispers, “The sea.”
`
(Junsu walks in long, hurried strides.
“Yunho!” He shouts as soon as he reaches the moirai’s chamber. “Yunho!”
The moirai of Time manifests in front of him. “It was never meant to be.”
Junsu opens his mouth but Yunho shakes his head, narrows his brows together, and glares at him with dark eyes. “You have gotten yourself too involved. Even if I wanted to help,” a pause, “We can’t undo what Yoochun has already bestowed on JaeJoong. It was never meant to be, Junsu. It was his time to go and you know that.”)
`
“Min-ah, I have a challenge for you.”
Changmin lifts his head off from JaeJoong’s shoulder, surprised and curious. “A challenge?”
“Yeah believe it or not, I have a challenge for you. You up for it?”
“Shoot me.”
“I want you to live a day without me.”
Changmin narrows his brows in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Live a day without me.” JaeJoong ruffles Changmin’s hair as he continues, “Don’t talk to me, don’t text me, don’t call me. If you do it I will love you more than I already do and forever.”
The younger man makes a “tsk” sound with his tongue. “Really? That’s your challenge?” Changmin snorts in disbelief when JaeJoong nods his head in reply. “Like really? You’ll love me forever? Even when we’re ninety-years-old?”
“Yeah, yeah. I promise.” JaeJoong laughs and leans over to peck him on the cheek. “Forever.”
“If that’s a promise that you’re intending to keep,” Changmin pulls JaeJoong back into his arms and kisses him fully on the lips, “then I accept your challenge.”
`
(“I was never supposed to be involved.” He whispers, eyes closed with dried tears stained on his cheeks. “Why can’t we go back? Why can’t you…”
“It’s our job.” Yoochun turns and draws on his brother’s arm in comfort. “It’s not that simple, Junsu-ah. Just because I can doesn’t mean I should.” He answers with a sigh.)
`
Junsu bites the inside of his cheeks when he sees JaeJoong cuddle into his blankets. He walks over to the man and gently holds his hand. There’s a soft blissful smile on his lips, and Junsu believes that he is dreaming of the man, Shim Changmin.
Throat tightened and chest pained, Junsu lets go of JaeJoong’s hand and takes a step back from the bed before he manifests a white woven string.
He’s sleeping peacefully, every breath that he drew was growing weaker than the last, and Junsu (for the first time) cries when he cuts the string in half.
{Nothing’s changed;
Everything is still the same.
Except - only you were gone.
And I am sure this is love.
And I will be waiting, missing you.}
(Wasurenaiyo - Thelma Aoyama)
{I can only accept that love is deep,
Fate is shallow.}
(One Persistent Thought - Hu Ge & Alan)
o1. The End:
The amount that I miss you
Is how far you are.
Changmin looks up at the sky. He watches the white puffy clouds slowly shift into different forms as they raced across the pale blue horizon. He stretches his right hand forward. So close, he thinks, so close yet so far, he swallows.
He curls his fingers into the air, as if he can grasp the white clouds into his hand, and closes his eyes. An image of a raven-haired man walks up to him, and Changmin smiles softly. Warm arms wrap around his waist and a chin rests on one of his shoulders (like it’s meant to be there, like always). He instantly leans back and turns his head a little, inhaling and filling his nostrils with a familiar sweet scent of magnolia.
You did it baby, he hears the words (the same exact words he read on the note his lover left for him) whisper into his ear, and his heart aches. Using one of his hands, the man laces their fingers together and presses an invisible kiss to his neck. A silent tear rolls down his cheek when the man repeats his words, you did it baby.
You can do it everyday.
`
You can do it everyday.
When Changmin opens his eyes again, he finds himself wrapped like a cocoon in JaeJoong’s bed sheets. The sunlight seeping from the current blinds hurt his eyes, and he quickly looks away.
He realizes his cheeks are stained with dry salty tears, and he feels his throat tightened into a lump. He shifts, groaning seconds later when a body lands on top of him and showers his face with butterfly kisses.
“Morning love.” JaeJoong greets him with a bright smile, and Changmin feels as if his heart has stopped (his world tilted). He blinks, once. Twice.
“You’re real.” He whispers, voice cracked and eyes widened. He grabs the back of JaeJoong’s neck and yanks him down. “Oh god.”
“Yes, I’m real. Why were you crying? Bad dream?”
Changmin mumbles “nightmare” into the crook of JaeJoong’s neck and wraps his arms tighter around the older man. His shoulders start to shake.
“Hey, hey it’s okay. I’m here.” JaeJoong pulls back and plants a kiss on Changmin’s lips. “Go do your morning hygiene and I’ll make you something you like yeah? How does curry noodles sound?”
Changmin nods with a weak smile.
`
Changmin grabs his phone and dials his best friend’s number as soon as he gets out from the bathroom. He waits and then, “Junsu hyung? Hey yeah, I love you and all, but please get rid of your black sparkly nails okay?”
He hears a “What? Yah! What’s wrong with my nails?” before hanging up.
Changmin spends a good fifteen minutes calling up his two other friends.
`
JaeJoong’s waving his spatula around in the air, singing to Jason Chen’s song Gravity, when Changmin finally walks into the kitchen room. He hears the younger man mumble a series of “stupid Yoochun and his depressing songs”, “hate Yunho, never reading again”, “hate black and sparkly nails”, “shit scarred me for life” and raises a brow.
“What did black and sparkly nails do to you?”
Changmin rolls his eyes and slumps into a kitchen chair. “Nightmare.”
“You had a nightmare of Junsu’s black sparkly nails?” JaeJoong asks, the corner of his lips twitching into an amused grin.
“Yes, as a matter of fact I did. His black nails and blond hair made me dream of him, and Yoochun, and Yunho. And they were somehow the annoying moirai or fates and they were trying to break us apart. And you were dying and I didn’t know what to do because it was like watching a movie played out in front of me and I couldn’t do anything.”
“Slow down, you’re talking too fast.” JaeJoong laughs, “You said I was dying?”
Changmin nods and pouts a little.
“From what?”
“Cancer? Some sort of disease? I don’t know. Wait…” Changmin stops quickly and narrows his brows together. “Are you?”
JaeJoong laughs harder as he flicks Changmin’s forehead with his finger. “I am disease-free, you drama queen.”
“Shut up. Stop laughing and give me my food.”
`
They’re on top of the roof of their apartment complex, staring up at the endless blue sky in silence. JaeJoong squeezes Changmin’s hand gently before turning his head to look at his lover.
“Penny for your thoughts?”
Changmin closes his eyes. “You’re not leaving me right?”
“Oh you idiot, come here.” He turns onto his side and allows Changmin to snuggle closer to his chest.
“Shh, I’m here.” JaeJoong hushes when Changmin sniffs and tightens his fingers in his shirt. “Always here.” He hums a tune Changmin recognizes immediately.
“Why won’t you be my blue sky so I can be your sunshine? You be my horizon, I’ll come to you every night. I want you to be my moonlight and I will be your night time. My life will be so dark if you didn’t shine so bright.”
“Let’s go to a place, faraway, where we can stay together forever and forever. I’m yours.” JaeJoong finishes before leaning down to place a sweet kiss on Changmin’s lips.
………………………………………
Author’s Note 2: HOLY CRAP I FINISHED!!!
So…uh…hi. No I am very much alive (but brain dead) and like I stated up there earlier, I am in a desperate need of wanting my muses to cooperate and come back to me (need to finish up some fics, like MinSu). But anyways... I don't know how I feel about this. It's...different, thought I would try something new.
But well anyways my Unnie gave me this one plot bunny (that seriously had nothing to do with this), and then stated afterwards that she had another plot bunny where God gives Junsu a taste of heaven. And my Junsu, being the hot, devilish, sexy blond-haired man with sparkly black nails like he is, ends up appearing in front of me and says, “Since I am Death (Elisabeth) why not let me play a good role in this fic.” Oh! Junsu’s new look for his musical definitely helped. (GAWD ISN’T HE SEXY? LIKE OMGAWD!) And with the help of this sick heartbreaking chain note and the three (four) songs used in this fic…WAHLAH! :D So THANKS UNNIE for the awesome plot muses! The original video for Three Inches of Heaven and Ayumi Hamasaki’s Blossom helps a lot with the imagery (check them out).
Oh, oh and if you are confused about Junsu's character - he's based off from Atropos, one of the Greek Goddess of Fates. I switched and played around with SuHoChun's characters so they are not exactly the same as the Greek mythology - but close enough.
Comments are loved.