(no subject)
I'm pissed at her... she called me that name... she never has before but shedid last night. She was praying over me and she called me that... does she think that Blake isn't even me? I don't know what's going on in her head. But I know I'll never be able to look at her the same way again. And that's what I wanted wasn't it? Wasn't that what I was praying for? The strength to move beyond feelings that will never be returned? Yeah... that's what I wanted, and I'm not at all happy that I got it... but that's the way of the world. It's probably for the best.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righeousness for His name's sake. And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You arae with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoit my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and merecy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. ~Psalm 23
She doesn't respect me though that's for sure... she loves me but she doesn't respect my identity, she refuses to see me as I am. It makes me sad because I love her very much and I know she loves me too, but if she can't understand that I am the way I am then I have to distance myself from her. It's not that she can't understand me - it's that she won't, and that's what hurts me. She really believes that what she's trying to do to me is the right thing... she believes that by the grace of God I can become something that I was never meant to be.
Some verses I take comfort in:
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2
Well there's more than just that but that's all I felt like typing... I'm a bloody eunuch, that's what I am.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righeousness for His name's sake. And though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You arae with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoit my head with oil; my cup runs over. Surely goodness and merecy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever. ~Psalm 23
She doesn't respect me though that's for sure... she loves me but she doesn't respect my identity, she refuses to see me as I am. It makes me sad because I love her very much and I know she loves me too, but if she can't understand that I am the way I am then I have to distance myself from her. It's not that she can't understand me - it's that she won't, and that's what hurts me. She really believes that what she's trying to do to me is the right thing... she believes that by the grace of God I can become something that I was never meant to be.
Some verses I take comfort in:
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2
Well there's more than just that but that's all I felt like typing... I'm a bloody eunuch, that's what I am.