C-section
Well, I went to the doctor on Thursday, to see how things were progressing and such. Turns out, there really was no progressing, so to speak. So we had the discussion about my "go-no-go date" if you will. The absolute latest date they will let me try to have a VBAC. They offered to do an induction, but having done that before, I've opted to not try another induction. My chances for a C-section from an induction are 50/50, right off the bat.
They were gracious, and let me pick from two dates to schedule the C-section. I thought it was highly generous of them, to give me two whole days to choose from! I can either have my surgery on December 24th (Merry F'ing Christmas!) or December 31st (Happy F'ing New Year!). I'm going with December 31st, since Kea doesn't really know or appreciate New Year's. I really didn't want to have to spend either holiday in the hospital, recovering from surgery, but New Year's seems better than Christmas. Plus, Caelen's birthday will then be AFTER Christmas instead of before. It's the lesser of two evils. I'm still working with myself over the whole surgery thing. I really really didn't want another C-section. I spoke with the doctor about what happened with Kea; about how the epidural didn't take, and my apprehension about that. He then informed me that they do spinal blocks here. There's no catheter for my back to kink off, which is what I think happened with the epidural with Kea; the way they strap you to the table to cut you open kinked the catheter and I was able to feel everything they were doing, so they ended up knocking me all the way out with General Anesthesia. Honestly, I'd much prefer that than a spinal or epidural. I really don't want to be awake during the whole procedure. Yes, I've heard it all: You won't feel it; you'll get to see your baby, blah blah blah. But HELLO, they are f'ing cutting on me while I'M AWAKE. Not a cool idea; very freaked about that. Plus, then they take the baby away and I have to get STAPLES while AWAKE, AND they are going to do the tubal before all of that. Yes, it'll be blocked off so I can't see, but there will be the "pressure" and all that. Then, the fact that I get to then go to recovery and get the joy of them pressing on my abdomen with a FRESH CUT in it to be sure the uterus is contracting. Just the memory of that pain from when I had Kea makes me want to curl up and cry. Then I get to deal with an incision and a newborn. Can you see why I'm really dreading this? The damn scar from the first c-section STILL hurts, and it's four and a half years later. What is this going to do to that? Yes, I want a healthy baby. I was really excited to hear that I could attempt a VBAC. I'm so glad I'm done with babies after this. No more surgeries for me if I can help it. Mom, I know you performed in many of them in your day, but to be on the receiving end is painful and not my favorite memories; sorry.
On the outset, though, I'll only be pregnant for 18 more days. Heh. There is still a slim hope that the baby comes on his own, but I'm not holding my breath on that one.
The other thing I hate about all this is that they are on "Holiday Schedule" at work. That is why I only got two dates to choose from. That scares me more than I can say. That means that the one sticking the meds into my spine is the low man on the totem pole; the one with the least experience and who needs the most practice. I can't tell you how much that thrills me. To know that the one messing with my spinal column will be about the most junior person that they have. Not cool. Way not cool. Don't even get me started on the doc who will be performing the surgery. Again with the low man on the totem pole. The unlucky bastard who has the least seniority and has to work on New Year's Eve. *sigh* Nope; not freaked or scared at all here.
They were gracious, and let me pick from two dates to schedule the C-section. I thought it was highly generous of them, to give me two whole days to choose from! I can either have my surgery on December 24th (Merry F'ing Christmas!) or December 31st (Happy F'ing New Year!). I'm going with December 31st, since Kea doesn't really know or appreciate New Year's. I really didn't want to have to spend either holiday in the hospital, recovering from surgery, but New Year's seems better than Christmas. Plus, Caelen's birthday will then be AFTER Christmas instead of before. It's the lesser of two evils. I'm still working with myself over the whole surgery thing. I really really didn't want another C-section. I spoke with the doctor about what happened with Kea; about how the epidural didn't take, and my apprehension about that. He then informed me that they do spinal blocks here. There's no catheter for my back to kink off, which is what I think happened with the epidural with Kea; the way they strap you to the table to cut you open kinked the catheter and I was able to feel everything they were doing, so they ended up knocking me all the way out with General Anesthesia. Honestly, I'd much prefer that than a spinal or epidural. I really don't want to be awake during the whole procedure. Yes, I've heard it all: You won't feel it; you'll get to see your baby, blah blah blah. But HELLO, they are f'ing cutting on me while I'M AWAKE. Not a cool idea; very freaked about that. Plus, then they take the baby away and I have to get STAPLES while AWAKE, AND they are going to do the tubal before all of that. Yes, it'll be blocked off so I can't see, but there will be the "pressure" and all that. Then, the fact that I get to then go to recovery and get the joy of them pressing on my abdomen with a FRESH CUT in it to be sure the uterus is contracting. Just the memory of that pain from when I had Kea makes me want to curl up and cry. Then I get to deal with an incision and a newborn. Can you see why I'm really dreading this? The damn scar from the first c-section STILL hurts, and it's four and a half years later. What is this going to do to that? Yes, I want a healthy baby. I was really excited to hear that I could attempt a VBAC. I'm so glad I'm done with babies after this. No more surgeries for me if I can help it. Mom, I know you performed in many of them in your day, but to be on the receiving end is painful and not my favorite memories; sorry.
On the outset, though, I'll only be pregnant for 18 more days. Heh. There is still a slim hope that the baby comes on his own, but I'm not holding my breath on that one.
The other thing I hate about all this is that they are on "Holiday Schedule" at work. That is why I only got two dates to choose from. That scares me more than I can say. That means that the one sticking the meds into my spine is the low man on the totem pole; the one with the least experience and who needs the most practice. I can't tell you how much that thrills me. To know that the one messing with my spinal column will be about the most junior person that they have. Not cool. Way not cool. Don't even get me started on the doc who will be performing the surgery. Again with the low man on the totem pole. The unlucky bastard who has the least seniority and has to work on New Year's Eve. *sigh* Nope; not freaked or scared at all here.