rock on, baby b
next week, i go back to work in the office 3 days a week. i am looking forward to getting stuff done in a timely manner without a nursing baby in my lap (ever tried to type and nurse? it's a skill i don't think i'll ever master properly). i am NOT looking forward to pumping 3x a day to try to get all the milk my baby will need for daycare, but i really want to keep nursing her and i figure if i don't get a ton of milk the first few days, i can keep pumping at home to stockpile for the following week. i really don't want to have to resort to formula. i am also going to miss our lunchtime nap together- we lie on the futon and she nurses herself (and me) to sleep.
and it is a bitter thing to have to leave your baby in the hands of strangers, albeit caring ones. i am terrified that they will call me the first day and tell me to come get her, that she is inconsolable. i left her for 2 hours with d last weekend and he had to call me to come home because she wouldn't stop crying...and that's her own father! i can't fathom leaving her for a whole day, much less 3 whole days, while i go to work. it's going to kill me at first, but i guess you get used to it. so many women do.
i want to cut my hair. not short-short, but at least shoulder-length. it's driving me crazy, and b keeps getting handfuls of it and ripping it out anyway, so it's in both our best interests to cut it.
b is getting bigger every day, and so smiley, especially when she first wakes up. it's so sweet to go pick her up from the bed and have her give you a huge, gummy grin. she makes this noise that sounds like laughing but i don't think it is- it's a kind of "heh-heh" sound. i think she's just experimenting with language.