apathy
for once in my life, i am only half looking forward to going on vacation.
i've been so bone-tired lately that all i want to do is lie down most of the time...this building another human life is hard fucking work, you know? i didn't even get out of my pajamas yesterday, and it was all i could do to drag myself up 2 flights of stairs every 2 hours to visit the bathroom. D was sweet enough to go out and get us pizza for dinner when the chicken we'd planned to make sounded awful to me, and he picked up my refill on the prescription nausea meds so that i'll be covered through vacation.
we leave on friday night to go to florida for a little more than a week, and my parents have already gallantly offered to entertain K whenever D and i want some alone-time because this will be the last pre-baby vacation we'll take. but i'm also looking forward to spending time with K, as she's been staying with her great aunts for the last week and will be starting school as soon as we return. this is kind of her last fun week before 3rd grade and also her last vacation with us as the only child.
but i just don't feel like doing anything lately- i mean, i'll admit i've got a lazy streak a mile wide, but this is ridiculous. i used to do cardio and strength training for 2 consecutive hours once (and occasionally twice) a week- and the only real exercise i've gotten in the last 3 months was riding a bike for 45 consecutive minutes. after which i required a cold treat from Baskin Robbins and a lie-down. i hope my energy level is a bit higher when we're there just because i won't have to be stressed out at work all day and i won't have any housekeeping piling up and making me feel like a bad wife. (hello, clothes piled up all over the bedroom! i've decided that if i ignore you long enough, you might become sentient beings and sort/fold/wash yourselves. love you, smart clothes!)
i hope to stay in a bathing suit for most of the week, and i've promised myself i will try very hard not to be self-conscious about the "baby bloat" that has become my usually-flat tummy. no, i'm not really showing yet. but my insides seem to be moving around quite a bit, and nothing normal-sized buttons over my belly by 3pm. in the morning, you'd never know i was preggers. in the evening, you'd think i was a month further along with all the bloating. but it being end-of-season, there are no flattering maternity bathing suits left at Old Navy, so i'm giving up and wearing the bikini anyway. i'm not big enough to justify the maternity suit yet, but it would make me feel better to wear it.
i'm also going to be spending most of the last vacation weekend alone at the ELF con, which doesn't bother me as much as i thought it would, but i have a feeling that i am NOT going to want to stay there for the whole 5-7 hours each day, and i'm sure as fuck not going to go to any of the evening functions (i can barely stay awake past 9pm). but we are sharing a rental car in orlando with my parents, and it is a rental car that I CANNOT DRIVE. they only got insurance for my mom and dad on it, so yay i won't have to try to find my way around orlando or try to find parking for the con. but i, a completely independent 30-year-old-pregnant-homeowner-wife-grownup, WILL BE DROPPED OFF AND PICKED UP BY MY DADDY EVERY DAY. hello, adolescent angst, nice to see you again! i predict that my type-A, schedule-obsessed father will not deal well with my wanting to be picked up early because, hi, i'm pregnant and tired and will have gotten more than my RDA of LOTR for the day. that's when i call my husband and/or mother up crying because of the pregnancy hormones and annoy them until they force him to ruin his schedule to come and get me. did i mention the con is at a hotel 20 miles away from Casa Del Uncle Jim where we will be staying? yeah, too far away to leave for a nap and then come back later.
but i am looking forward to:
* eating oysters rockefeller at Wahoos with D
* lying beside the ocean and listening to the surf, watching the sea birds and boats, and making sand casltes with K
* the lovely, deathly quiet guestroom at my parents, perfect for sleeping in and napping
* the lovely tiki bar, complete with sand, and pool at Uncle Jim's
* spending time with my family
* the con, which should be interesting both in itself and as a people-watching exercise (there will be COSTUMES)
* floating on some sort of inflatable device while sipping a virgin pina colada and watching K and D play in the water
* letting my mom spoil me a little bit
i've been so bone-tired lately that all i want to do is lie down most of the time...this building another human life is hard fucking work, you know? i didn't even get out of my pajamas yesterday, and it was all i could do to drag myself up 2 flights of stairs every 2 hours to visit the bathroom. D was sweet enough to go out and get us pizza for dinner when the chicken we'd planned to make sounded awful to me, and he picked up my refill on the prescription nausea meds so that i'll be covered through vacation.
we leave on friday night to go to florida for a little more than a week, and my parents have already gallantly offered to entertain K whenever D and i want some alone-time because this will be the last pre-baby vacation we'll take. but i'm also looking forward to spending time with K, as she's been staying with her great aunts for the last week and will be starting school as soon as we return. this is kind of her last fun week before 3rd grade and also her last vacation with us as the only child.
but i just don't feel like doing anything lately- i mean, i'll admit i've got a lazy streak a mile wide, but this is ridiculous. i used to do cardio and strength training for 2 consecutive hours once (and occasionally twice) a week- and the only real exercise i've gotten in the last 3 months was riding a bike for 45 consecutive minutes. after which i required a cold treat from Baskin Robbins and a lie-down. i hope my energy level is a bit higher when we're there just because i won't have to be stressed out at work all day and i won't have any housekeeping piling up and making me feel like a bad wife. (hello, clothes piled up all over the bedroom! i've decided that if i ignore you long enough, you might become sentient beings and sort/fold/wash yourselves. love you, smart clothes!)
i hope to stay in a bathing suit for most of the week, and i've promised myself i will try very hard not to be self-conscious about the "baby bloat" that has become my usually-flat tummy. no, i'm not really showing yet. but my insides seem to be moving around quite a bit, and nothing normal-sized buttons over my belly by 3pm. in the morning, you'd never know i was preggers. in the evening, you'd think i was a month further along with all the bloating. but it being end-of-season, there are no flattering maternity bathing suits left at Old Navy, so i'm giving up and wearing the bikini anyway. i'm not big enough to justify the maternity suit yet, but it would make me feel better to wear it.
i'm also going to be spending most of the last vacation weekend alone at the ELF con, which doesn't bother me as much as i thought it would, but i have a feeling that i am NOT going to want to stay there for the whole 5-7 hours each day, and i'm sure as fuck not going to go to any of the evening functions (i can barely stay awake past 9pm). but we are sharing a rental car in orlando with my parents, and it is a rental car that I CANNOT DRIVE. they only got insurance for my mom and dad on it, so yay i won't have to try to find my way around orlando or try to find parking for the con. but i, a completely independent 30-year-old-pregnant-homeowner-wife-grownup, WILL BE DROPPED OFF AND PICKED UP BY MY DADDY EVERY DAY. hello, adolescent angst, nice to see you again! i predict that my type-A, schedule-obsessed father will not deal well with my wanting to be picked up early because, hi, i'm pregnant and tired and will have gotten more than my RDA of LOTR for the day. that's when i call my husband and/or mother up crying because of the pregnancy hormones and annoy them until they force him to ruin his schedule to come and get me. did i mention the con is at a hotel 20 miles away from Casa Del Uncle Jim where we will be staying? yeah, too far away to leave for a nap and then come back later.
but i am looking forward to:
* eating oysters rockefeller at Wahoos with D
* lying beside the ocean and listening to the surf, watching the sea birds and boats, and making sand casltes with K
* the lovely, deathly quiet guestroom at my parents, perfect for sleeping in and napping
* the lovely tiki bar, complete with sand, and pool at Uncle Jim's
* spending time with my family
* the con, which should be interesting both in itself and as a people-watching exercise (there will be COSTUMES)
* floating on some sort of inflatable device while sipping a virgin pina colada and watching K and D play in the water
* letting my mom spoil me a little bit