Beautiful Life: unbelievably awesome
I've been mainlining Beautiful Life like heroin (or at least the way I assume people mainline heroin. I don't know, though drama-mainlining sounds healthier).
Oh wow. You know, the way other people feel about Long Vacation? An understated, romantic, character driven drama that just drags you in? That's the way I feel about Beautiful Life. I am so sorry, Kurosagi, but you just moved down to number 3 jdrama spot.
This couldn't get any better if it tried.
You know what strikes me about this? How this is all about small realistic gestures and moments. This is not a grand, dramatic romantic epic the way something like Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake is. Yet, despite (or perhaps because) of the approachability and everydayness, it strikes me even more. I smile, I sniffle, and I fall into wide-eyed love.
Yes, KimuTaku (as Shuji) is still all about the small moments, the little looks when no one sees. But what strikes me the most, is the little moment. He's got Kyoko to be his model for a haircut and he asks her what she would like (and he never does, his regular customers complain) and she tells him she trusts him and he can do anything he wants. And the little look on his face. *dies*
In a way, both of them have no filters and yet no guards. Or maybe they just get under each other's guards, automatically. I love how he gets her all pretty and excited and the journalists snap pictures and she actually glows, because she loves looking like pretty woman, just another pretty girl for once.
But the moment I knew I was a goner for that ship? They are on an overpass, and he notices the sunset and they both look at it, side by side, and then all of a sudden he swoops down until he is at her eye level and crouches that way. In response to what he is doing, he tells her he wanted to see how she sees the world, because from that height the world is different and it's such a matter of fact statement and she is so arrested by it.
Because the thing is, she doesn't want to be defined by her disability, and to him she so isn't. He views her as being in a wheelchair, the way he'd view have red hair or a penchant for cats. Just a part of her, but totally normal. There is no pity there.
And then he invites her for dinner (not date-like, just friendly) and it takes them a long time to find a place, because most places aren't wheelchair equipped and not particularly accomodating (earlier, her friend pointed out to Shuji that the fancy salon he works at wasn't either, and he fixed it). It's interesting how something you take for granted: eating at any random place that strikes your fancy, catching a taxi (he is having problems catching one for her and she matter-of-factly says two out of three don't want to bother with wheel chairs) become these hurdles. I love that he gets angry about unfairness.
I love the bit where he offers to piggyback her into a restaurant. He is so boyish and so just, putting his backpack in front. And she refuses, and I love that he doesn't get mad. But even more I love that she explains why: her legs are skinny and it would embarass her. And OMG OMG, they are eating at some cheap joint (the only one they could find) and she mentions she really likes the bamboo in their dish, so he gives her all of his (GUUUUH) and steals her egg instead :P
I love how somehow, they can be normal with each other, they automatically make friends (she says it's the first time since she lost the use of her legs as a result of illness she ust got her pictures taken). And they agree to meet again if her picture does appear in that mag, and I love how they don't want to say good bye with the cab, but there is also hesitation, and shyness.
And if he validates her by seeing her just as a woman, she also validates him by assuring him he is good at his job (it's clear he doubts that). Because I think he is very reserved, usually, and not much of a people person (you get the impression of a square peg in a round hole) but with her, somehow with her, it all works. His rather off-wall approach fits with hers.
But then...
But then...
She is so full of anticipation when she buys the magazine, but the picture there is of her in a wheelchair, with the caption 'Even in a wheelchair, a charismatic stylist can make me beautiful.' (I love how it intercuts before them both seeing it, and his just throwing it away). Because, the whole thing was that for once she felt like she wasn'y an invalid, but that magazine defined her, for the whole country, by her disability, as if she isnothing more than someone to be pitied, 'almost human with some effort.' Her very quiet read of it and quiet wheeling of wheelchair to the trashcan and throwing it in? Wow. How can something so understated convey heartbreak.
And meanwhile Shuji is very upset too (because he never really sees her as anything less that fully whole, he would never think of a mangazine angle, all about disability) and the spread, while it's nice to be in the mag, is clearly bringing him no joy, because he understands how she would hate her. Even though the other hairdresser is all about 'smart PR' and OMG, Kyokooverhears the girls at the library whisper how of course Shuji wanted Kyoko because he wanted a disabled girl.
Even if Shuji never sees her disability in any way, except as a fact that she uses wheels instead of legs, the rest of the world doesn't have that, and hence lies the problem.
Somehow, in some ways, Shuji and Kyoko strike me as very pure, you know? I just want to protect them.
And then. And then...
Oh my Gosh. I am crying. It's the end of the first episode of Beautiful Life and I am crying. Not because it's angsty or anything (though voice-overs worry me) but just because...you know. It's so so so perfectly wonderful. The characters, the scenes, the drama. The works.
But OMG omg OMG. He waited for her.
In the rain.
Most of the night.
And the man at the restaurant (that long closed for the night) gave him an umbrella but he didn't even open it.
(To set it up. After the publication of the magazine, he waits for her at the library, all hunched up and half hiding. (I love him) but she left and he actually gets her number. Eeee! I love that she asks him straight out if he used her (after a brief, rote atempt at saying she didn't see the mag) and the thing is, he is so straightforard that he admits he might have, he doesn't know. And she asks him if she can hang up now. And then he waits for her at that restaurant anyway, the way they agreed).
And finally he gives up and he starts draggily walking to an underpass, and he is all soaked, but his umbrella is still closed, but as he is almost downstairs, he sees her car pull up and she gets out (OMG, I love how she earlier looks out of the window and got worried it was raining.) You know, they both took such a leap of faith there. And he sees her and she sees him, and she is radiant (because OMG, he really did like her, not use her or anything) and is a bit more reserved but you can tell, as he just stares, how happy he is.
And they cross to each other (and much as I love over-emo drama running in Kamisama or Hanadan, I love that there isn't that here) and just stare and then he is all 'come on come on you are going to get rained on use umbrella' while he is completely attuned to her getting dripped on and oblivious to getting soaked himself. And he gives her the umbrella and she makes him duck under it too and it's just...
I HAVE NO WORDS.
You guys.
YOU GUYS.
And it only gets better!
I love the sense of joy that Shuji and Kyoko have together. Even before they fall in love, they interact the way good friends with: they build a friendship. I love the repeated bit with him running with her wheelchair, turning her disability into something that is ‘cool’ that is sort of special in a good way as it makes her go faster, makes them both have fun. (Though of course, throughout we get voice overs a sure sign of doom. Not to mention the fact that she has to take meds. Dooooomed).
I really really love Kyoko who is both strong and vulnerable, prickly and open. That discussion she has with her friend about not falling in love because she doesn’t want to be hurt is so her in a nutshell. She is afraid to dream but she wants to. She is wistful but not self-pitying.
But huh! We all know it. She is going to fall in love with Shuji. In fact, she already has. I love Shuji so so much. And no, not just for the fact that when he smiles, his whole face transforms (though Kimura, please stop smoking. You are too awesome to die young). He has his own demons, doesn’t he? And just like Kyoko he suppresses them. They are so suited to each other: both not really into social niceties, but straightforward and quirky. I really love the scene in the cafeteria, where they are both grumpy but companionable (when he helps her with her order because a cart is blocking her way with a ‘who left it there’ but then doesn’t really look up when she sits next to him). I actually like the fact that he is somewhat unsocial (though this is what dooms him in his professional life) because it means that when he does things for Kyoko, it is not automatic meaningless politeness but because he really views her as normal, and being with her as good, and helping her as right.
But yeah, his problems? (And I am not talking about the evil other stylist who steals his design). I love that scene in the library, with his mother (what is it with Kimura and bad mothers?) where she hasn’t seen him for years but she doesn’t even hug him or anything but expresses her disappointment over his choice of job. And Kyoko overhears it because she brought his folder back (and I wonder if she thinks of the fact that she is handicapped but has a loving family, so there are tradeoffs for everything). And he sees she saw and walks out. With a family like that, I wonder how he is so open? And then I wonder if he is only really open to Kyoko because somehow they just click.
I love the scene at the ramen place at night, where she and her friend are eating and he happens to be there (and her awesome matchmaker friend just leaves). Kyoko, full of ‘awkward,’ pays and leaves and Shuji is ignoring her, but then..all of a sudden, Shuji is right there (he must have really gulped his food), pushing her wheelchair and she says she can do it herself and he says “yeah, but it's easier when someone helps.” OMG. That's my view on relationships in nutshell and I really do think this is generally more than about wheelchairs. I died a little from squee at the pushing.
I really love the scene that follows: he asks if they can go rest and she misinterprets (heeee), but it's just in the park for him to smoke and them talk and i love how he reveals about his family and the disappointment they have in him not being a doctor like the rest of the family. I wonder if they click, why they are drawn to each other is because they are lonely, rather reserved people (behind the façade they are good at keeping things to themselves) who somehow have no barriers with each other. I love how earlier, she stops and looks at the display of these really impractical red shoes.
The RED SHOES. When she admits to him she covets those red shoes (so impractical, so normal girl!), but she can't go in because she's not brave enough to go into a shoe store in her wheelchair. And it's something she can't even tell her best friend (when she sees those have been moved or sold or whatever). She hides her disappointment and interest even from her. But not from Shuji. I just love how they have no masks on at all, with each other, or defenses (as see above, when he tells her about how disappointed his doctor family is in him. You know, he really is too nice for his cut-throat job, he is rather still in possession of his innocence and impracticality).
Oh, did I mention that she talks to him about being handicapped and how she never could date normal guys because of it. Because everything is and obstacle and it might not bug guy but it bugs her. I just love their vibe of deep friendship there.
And I also love that the drama does not drag out issues or what not. I love the scene where she unexpectedly drops by his apartment in the morning only to see his ex-gf who he had a one-night-stand with leave with him (and OMG, the camera focuses on ex-gf’s legs). And she tries to get back into the car, and her food (that she brought for them) falls in a sad little heap and he notices her and OMG…the look on his face. It is worth to see the drama just for the look on his face, which holds so many emotions, I have no idea how to describe them, where to start. And he completely disregards the ex and they have a surreal conversation about how it’s still OK to eat the food as some of it’s not ruined and why there is no raw egg there. Gosh, he is such a kid.
And I love how later she wants to help him (because she sees him so exhausted, working, and OMG the adorableness of her watching him, unknown to him, with his morning coffee, yawning, until other cars honk at her) and she and her friend spend their day off buying magazines and recording bits of movies and making a folder with pics of people on the street. And she comes to give it to him and his jealous ex throws a fit and says that she shouldn’t use wheelchair to get attention (die!) and OMG OMG OMG. Shuji slaps her. YES. But then Kyoko tells him to go after the ex who ran out and he does (after a pause) because they were friends, besides the sex. And they have a low key conversation which just makes me think all over again about how much I like the drama because the ex is not an evil k-drama other girl, but someone who might be lashing out but is understandable. And Shuji muses out loud that he isn’t in love with Kyoko but we all know it’s wrong. And that is where I left off for the evening.
When I continued? OMG. *hyperventilates*
To get little things out of the way first: I love the way Kimura runs. I wonder if he is athletic. It's very fluid. Oh, and OMG, when he dorkily imitates Neo? *dies*
But but but but.
That is not what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about that scene in ep 3. You know which one.
The one with SHOES and KISSING. The one that made me scream.
Basically, the set-up is this: Shuji and Kyoko go out to celebrate his deciding on a new hairstyle. They get a bit plastered and by the time they come out and sober up her car has been towed. They end up catching a taxi (as he insists on seeing her home) and halfway there, she realizes she needs to go to the restroom (this drama really made me appraciate little things I take for granted). She can't go to the public ones because they are not wide enough so he takes her to his apartment (which is such a guy place, messy and not particularly comy but very lived on. No pretentions at all, just like the owner). And he carries her into the restroom (OMG, guys carrying their OTPs is a bullet-proof kink of mine. See e.g. Shin and Chae-Gyung in Goong). And later when she comes out, and he is making coffee, she is still sitting on the floor and she idly looks around and she notices a box and she looks inside it and..
IT IS THE RED SHOES.
RED SHOES.
RED SHOES.
The ones she wanted so badly but didn't have enough courage to go into the store to buy. And he turns around, because she is frozen and quiet (he is hunting for powedered milk to put into her coffee) and sees her holding them and tells her he bought them for her because she wanted them and he went in on impulse but didn't have time to give them yet (I love how matter-of-fact and real this scene feels. Because it is incredibly romantic but it is shot and acted in such a real way: they are in his messy apartment, there are no dreamy close-ups, he is matter of fact).
And she asks him why he is so nice to her and he answers, after a tiny pause 'Because I care about you' and OMG OMH you can tell that he didn't realize before he said it, and it's almost as much a surprise to him as it is to her. And he repeats it a couple more times, as if to try it on for size, to sink it in (Kimura doesn't just have an expressive face but an incredibly expressive voice, doesn't he?)
And he suddenly swoops down and briefly kisses her on the lips (I love how natural and slightly awkward it is, and how it's a total impulse).
SERIOUSLY, I WAS CRYING AT THIS POINT.
And then she is all radiant and he asks her if he can hold her. DIES. And he asks how he can do it (because of her handicap) and she replies, 'like normal' and he leans down and holds her and that shot is to die for, and it's slightly uncomfortable (they aren't used to each other physically yet) and there is more kissing and I love the little real touch of his telling her he has to stop hugging because his back hurts.
Seriously, this is such an amazing drama. You feel like you are watching real people. It's the little touches, you know?
Like the fact when they go outside to wait for a taxi, she is cold and he runs back to his apartment to get her an extra jacket (btw love his earlier panic about the mess in his place and putting the toilet seat down :D). And he runs to her but then he pauses for a second when he is near, as if he is drinking her in.
DIES.
But then he is at the library again and she's left for her planned trip without telling him. She does that, doesn't she? She is afraid of loving, of getting hurt. In a way, it's her way of testing the boundaries, testing him. I love how transparent he is coming to the library again (the librarian friend tells him he doesn't need to check out the books as he isn't going to read them). Oh, and he becomes top stylist meanwhile.
And then she comes back. And she got his jacket dry-cleaned and she bought him a dream catcher from the US. And she packs it up with so much care and she goes to give it to him but she chickens out at the last moment (because she thinks his co-worker ex and decides to give it later. She doesn't want to be vulnerable in front of the ex).
But meanwhile she learns that her brother's arranged marriage fell through because the girl found out Kyoko was in a wheelchair and a burden. And there is this really sad of her in her dark room, in the wheelchair. So she gives up (she is strong but she is vulnerable too, you know?) and just sends his jacket to him through the mail.
And of course he is tearing mad and he comes to the library and they have a fight because he is trying so hard to get her to admit that what they have is special (he is so forthright and so open with her) but of course she is walling off and pushes him away. And he leaves, mad as hell, but the librarian friend catches up with him and explains why Kyoko is so upset (and I love that it doesn't automatically makes it OK, he has to calm down a bit, and he finds out about the dream catcher).
So next day, she is in her apartment and the phone rings and IT'S HIM.
Because the friend gave him her home number. And she is so happy and she asks hy he called and he quips 'to continue to fight from yesterday' and then says it's because the day is nice and he rented a van and they should go for a drive. And she grins into the phone that she'll be there in ten minutes and he grins back that it should take longer as she should dress up because it's a date. DIES.
And she goes out, and she sticks the dreamcatcher on the back of her chair. But the road is closed for construction and in trying to go a different way, she gets stuck, and there is no way for them to contact each other because they don't have each other's phone number.
I was whimpering at this point. It's little things but I got so involved with the characters! And it intercuts with her anxiously checking the time and trying to attact someone's attention so they would help her andhis freaking out and he runs around everywhere looking for her and can't find her and then he finally gives up and as he is about to pull away in the car, defeated, he sees her coming.
EEEEEEE!
And she tells him she is so late because of make-up as it's a date but he points out she is cold. And she says she had to take an alternate route. And then he says she should give him her cell phone number and there in an adorable scene where they exchange cell phone numbers and he calls her with her being right there :D
And it's happy and wonderful, but then we get the voice-over of doom. That he can't forget her phone number. Even though she isn't there.
They are doomed, aren't they? I am going to have a blotched swollen from crying face by the end of this? Right?
Gosh, this is AMAZING.
Oh wow. You know, the way other people feel about Long Vacation? An understated, romantic, character driven drama that just drags you in? That's the way I feel about Beautiful Life. I am so sorry, Kurosagi, but you just moved down to number 3 jdrama spot.
This couldn't get any better if it tried.
You know what strikes me about this? How this is all about small realistic gestures and moments. This is not a grand, dramatic romantic epic the way something like Kamisama Mou Sukoshi Dake is. Yet, despite (or perhaps because) of the approachability and everydayness, it strikes me even more. I smile, I sniffle, and I fall into wide-eyed love.
Yes, KimuTaku (as Shuji) is still all about the small moments, the little looks when no one sees. But what strikes me the most, is the little moment. He's got Kyoko to be his model for a haircut and he asks her what she would like (and he never does, his regular customers complain) and she tells him she trusts him and he can do anything he wants. And the little look on his face. *dies*
In a way, both of them have no filters and yet no guards. Or maybe they just get under each other's guards, automatically. I love how he gets her all pretty and excited and the journalists snap pictures and she actually glows, because she loves looking like pretty woman, just another pretty girl for once.
But the moment I knew I was a goner for that ship? They are on an overpass, and he notices the sunset and they both look at it, side by side, and then all of a sudden he swoops down until he is at her eye level and crouches that way. In response to what he is doing, he tells her he wanted to see how she sees the world, because from that height the world is different and it's such a matter of fact statement and she is so arrested by it.
Because the thing is, she doesn't want to be defined by her disability, and to him she so isn't. He views her as being in a wheelchair, the way he'd view have red hair or a penchant for cats. Just a part of her, but totally normal. There is no pity there.
And then he invites her for dinner (not date-like, just friendly) and it takes them a long time to find a place, because most places aren't wheelchair equipped and not particularly accomodating (earlier, her friend pointed out to Shuji that the fancy salon he works at wasn't either, and he fixed it). It's interesting how something you take for granted: eating at any random place that strikes your fancy, catching a taxi (he is having problems catching one for her and she matter-of-factly says two out of three don't want to bother with wheel chairs) become these hurdles. I love that he gets angry about unfairness.
I love the bit where he offers to piggyback her into a restaurant. He is so boyish and so just, putting his backpack in front. And she refuses, and I love that he doesn't get mad. But even more I love that she explains why: her legs are skinny and it would embarass her. And OMG OMG, they are eating at some cheap joint (the only one they could find) and she mentions she really likes the bamboo in their dish, so he gives her all of his (GUUUUH) and steals her egg instead :P
I love how somehow, they can be normal with each other, they automatically make friends (she says it's the first time since she lost the use of her legs as a result of illness she ust got her pictures taken). And they agree to meet again if her picture does appear in that mag, and I love how they don't want to say good bye with the cab, but there is also hesitation, and shyness.
And if he validates her by seeing her just as a woman, she also validates him by assuring him he is good at his job (it's clear he doubts that). Because I think he is very reserved, usually, and not much of a people person (you get the impression of a square peg in a round hole) but with her, somehow with her, it all works. His rather off-wall approach fits with hers.
But then...
But then...
She is so full of anticipation when she buys the magazine, but the picture there is of her in a wheelchair, with the caption 'Even in a wheelchair, a charismatic stylist can make me beautiful.' (I love how it intercuts before them both seeing it, and his just throwing it away). Because, the whole thing was that for once she felt like she wasn'y an invalid, but that magazine defined her, for the whole country, by her disability, as if she isnothing more than someone to be pitied, 'almost human with some effort.' Her very quiet read of it and quiet wheeling of wheelchair to the trashcan and throwing it in? Wow. How can something so understated convey heartbreak.
And meanwhile Shuji is very upset too (because he never really sees her as anything less that fully whole, he would never think of a mangazine angle, all about disability) and the spread, while it's nice to be in the mag, is clearly bringing him no joy, because he understands how she would hate her. Even though the other hairdresser is all about 'smart PR' and OMG, Kyokooverhears the girls at the library whisper how of course Shuji wanted Kyoko because he wanted a disabled girl.
Even if Shuji never sees her disability in any way, except as a fact that she uses wheels instead of legs, the rest of the world doesn't have that, and hence lies the problem.
Somehow, in some ways, Shuji and Kyoko strike me as very pure, you know? I just want to protect them.
And then. And then...
Oh my Gosh. I am crying. It's the end of the first episode of Beautiful Life and I am crying. Not because it's angsty or anything (though voice-overs worry me) but just because...you know. It's so so so perfectly wonderful. The characters, the scenes, the drama. The works.
But OMG omg OMG. He waited for her.
In the rain.
Most of the night.
And the man at the restaurant (that long closed for the night) gave him an umbrella but he didn't even open it.
(To set it up. After the publication of the magazine, he waits for her at the library, all hunched up and half hiding. (I love him) but she left and he actually gets her number. Eeee! I love that she asks him straight out if he used her (after a brief, rote atempt at saying she didn't see the mag) and the thing is, he is so straightforard that he admits he might have, he doesn't know. And she asks him if she can hang up now. And then he waits for her at that restaurant anyway, the way they agreed).
And finally he gives up and he starts draggily walking to an underpass, and he is all soaked, but his umbrella is still closed, but as he is almost downstairs, he sees her car pull up and she gets out (OMG, I love how she earlier looks out of the window and got worried it was raining.) You know, they both took such a leap of faith there. And he sees her and she sees him, and she is radiant (because OMG, he really did like her, not use her or anything) and is a bit more reserved but you can tell, as he just stares, how happy he is.
And they cross to each other (and much as I love over-emo drama running in Kamisama or Hanadan, I love that there isn't that here) and just stare and then he is all 'come on come on you are going to get rained on use umbrella' while he is completely attuned to her getting dripped on and oblivious to getting soaked himself. And he gives her the umbrella and she makes him duck under it too and it's just...
I HAVE NO WORDS.
You guys.
YOU GUYS.
And it only gets better!
I love the sense of joy that Shuji and Kyoko have together. Even before they fall in love, they interact the way good friends with: they build a friendship. I love the repeated bit with him running with her wheelchair, turning her disability into something that is ‘cool’ that is sort of special in a good way as it makes her go faster, makes them both have fun. (Though of course, throughout we get voice overs a sure sign of doom. Not to mention the fact that she has to take meds. Dooooomed).
I really really love Kyoko who is both strong and vulnerable, prickly and open. That discussion she has with her friend about not falling in love because she doesn’t want to be hurt is so her in a nutshell. She is afraid to dream but she wants to. She is wistful but not self-pitying.
But huh! We all know it. She is going to fall in love with Shuji. In fact, she already has. I love Shuji so so much. And no, not just for the fact that when he smiles, his whole face transforms (though Kimura, please stop smoking. You are too awesome to die young). He has his own demons, doesn’t he? And just like Kyoko he suppresses them. They are so suited to each other: both not really into social niceties, but straightforward and quirky. I really love the scene in the cafeteria, where they are both grumpy but companionable (when he helps her with her order because a cart is blocking her way with a ‘who left it there’ but then doesn’t really look up when she sits next to him). I actually like the fact that he is somewhat unsocial (though this is what dooms him in his professional life) because it means that when he does things for Kyoko, it is not automatic meaningless politeness but because he really views her as normal, and being with her as good, and helping her as right.
But yeah, his problems? (And I am not talking about the evil other stylist who steals his design). I love that scene in the library, with his mother (what is it with Kimura and bad mothers?) where she hasn’t seen him for years but she doesn’t even hug him or anything but expresses her disappointment over his choice of job. And Kyoko overhears it because she brought his folder back (and I wonder if she thinks of the fact that she is handicapped but has a loving family, so there are tradeoffs for everything). And he sees she saw and walks out. With a family like that, I wonder how he is so open? And then I wonder if he is only really open to Kyoko because somehow they just click.
I love the scene at the ramen place at night, where she and her friend are eating and he happens to be there (and her awesome matchmaker friend just leaves). Kyoko, full of ‘awkward,’ pays and leaves and Shuji is ignoring her, but then..all of a sudden, Shuji is right there (he must have really gulped his food), pushing her wheelchair and she says she can do it herself and he says “yeah, but it's easier when someone helps.” OMG. That's my view on relationships in nutshell and I really do think this is generally more than about wheelchairs. I died a little from squee at the pushing.
I really love the scene that follows: he asks if they can go rest and she misinterprets (heeee), but it's just in the park for him to smoke and them talk and i love how he reveals about his family and the disappointment they have in him not being a doctor like the rest of the family. I wonder if they click, why they are drawn to each other is because they are lonely, rather reserved people (behind the façade they are good at keeping things to themselves) who somehow have no barriers with each other. I love how earlier, she stops and looks at the display of these really impractical red shoes.
The RED SHOES. When she admits to him she covets those red shoes (so impractical, so normal girl!), but she can't go in because she's not brave enough to go into a shoe store in her wheelchair. And it's something she can't even tell her best friend (when she sees those have been moved or sold or whatever). She hides her disappointment and interest even from her. But not from Shuji. I just love how they have no masks on at all, with each other, or defenses (as see above, when he tells her about how disappointed his doctor family is in him. You know, he really is too nice for his cut-throat job, he is rather still in possession of his innocence and impracticality).
Oh, did I mention that she talks to him about being handicapped and how she never could date normal guys because of it. Because everything is and obstacle and it might not bug guy but it bugs her. I just love their vibe of deep friendship there.
And I also love that the drama does not drag out issues or what not. I love the scene where she unexpectedly drops by his apartment in the morning only to see his ex-gf who he had a one-night-stand with leave with him (and OMG, the camera focuses on ex-gf’s legs). And she tries to get back into the car, and her food (that she brought for them) falls in a sad little heap and he notices her and OMG…the look on his face. It is worth to see the drama just for the look on his face, which holds so many emotions, I have no idea how to describe them, where to start. And he completely disregards the ex and they have a surreal conversation about how it’s still OK to eat the food as some of it’s not ruined and why there is no raw egg there. Gosh, he is such a kid.
And I love how later she wants to help him (because she sees him so exhausted, working, and OMG the adorableness of her watching him, unknown to him, with his morning coffee, yawning, until other cars honk at her) and she and her friend spend their day off buying magazines and recording bits of movies and making a folder with pics of people on the street. And she comes to give it to him and his jealous ex throws a fit and says that she shouldn’t use wheelchair to get attention (die!) and OMG OMG OMG. Shuji slaps her. YES. But then Kyoko tells him to go after the ex who ran out and he does (after a pause) because they were friends, besides the sex. And they have a low key conversation which just makes me think all over again about how much I like the drama because the ex is not an evil k-drama other girl, but someone who might be lashing out but is understandable. And Shuji muses out loud that he isn’t in love with Kyoko but we all know it’s wrong. And that is where I left off for the evening.
When I continued? OMG. *hyperventilates*
To get little things out of the way first: I love the way Kimura runs. I wonder if he is athletic. It's very fluid. Oh, and OMG, when he dorkily imitates Neo? *dies*
But but but but.
That is not what I want to talk about.
I want to talk about that scene in ep 3. You know which one.
The one with SHOES and KISSING. The one that made me scream.
Basically, the set-up is this: Shuji and Kyoko go out to celebrate his deciding on a new hairstyle. They get a bit plastered and by the time they come out and sober up her car has been towed. They end up catching a taxi (as he insists on seeing her home) and halfway there, she realizes she needs to go to the restroom (this drama really made me appraciate little things I take for granted). She can't go to the public ones because they are not wide enough so he takes her to his apartment (which is such a guy place, messy and not particularly comy but very lived on. No pretentions at all, just like the owner). And he carries her into the restroom (OMG, guys carrying their OTPs is a bullet-proof kink of mine. See e.g. Shin and Chae-Gyung in Goong). And later when she comes out, and he is making coffee, she is still sitting on the floor and she idly looks around and she notices a box and she looks inside it and..
IT IS THE RED SHOES.
RED SHOES.
RED SHOES.
The ones she wanted so badly but didn't have enough courage to go into the store to buy. And he turns around, because she is frozen and quiet (he is hunting for powedered milk to put into her coffee) and sees her holding them and tells her he bought them for her because she wanted them and he went in on impulse but didn't have time to give them yet (I love how matter-of-fact and real this scene feels. Because it is incredibly romantic but it is shot and acted in such a real way: they are in his messy apartment, there are no dreamy close-ups, he is matter of fact).
And she asks him why he is so nice to her and he answers, after a tiny pause 'Because I care about you' and OMG OMH you can tell that he didn't realize before he said it, and it's almost as much a surprise to him as it is to her. And he repeats it a couple more times, as if to try it on for size, to sink it in (Kimura doesn't just have an expressive face but an incredibly expressive voice, doesn't he?)
And he suddenly swoops down and briefly kisses her on the lips (I love how natural and slightly awkward it is, and how it's a total impulse).
SERIOUSLY, I WAS CRYING AT THIS POINT.
And then she is all radiant and he asks her if he can hold her. DIES. And he asks how he can do it (because of her handicap) and she replies, 'like normal' and he leans down and holds her and that shot is to die for, and it's slightly uncomfortable (they aren't used to each other physically yet) and there is more kissing and I love the little real touch of his telling her he has to stop hugging because his back hurts.
Seriously, this is such an amazing drama. You feel like you are watching real people. It's the little touches, you know?
Like the fact when they go outside to wait for a taxi, she is cold and he runs back to his apartment to get her an extra jacket (btw love his earlier panic about the mess in his place and putting the toilet seat down :D). And he runs to her but then he pauses for a second when he is near, as if he is drinking her in.
DIES.
But then he is at the library again and she's left for her planned trip without telling him. She does that, doesn't she? She is afraid of loving, of getting hurt. In a way, it's her way of testing the boundaries, testing him. I love how transparent he is coming to the library again (the librarian friend tells him he doesn't need to check out the books as he isn't going to read them). Oh, and he becomes top stylist meanwhile.
And then she comes back. And she got his jacket dry-cleaned and she bought him a dream catcher from the US. And she packs it up with so much care and she goes to give it to him but she chickens out at the last moment (because she thinks his co-worker ex and decides to give it later. She doesn't want to be vulnerable in front of the ex).
But meanwhile she learns that her brother's arranged marriage fell through because the girl found out Kyoko was in a wheelchair and a burden. And there is this really sad of her in her dark room, in the wheelchair. So she gives up (she is strong but she is vulnerable too, you know?) and just sends his jacket to him through the mail.
And of course he is tearing mad and he comes to the library and they have a fight because he is trying so hard to get her to admit that what they have is special (he is so forthright and so open with her) but of course she is walling off and pushes him away. And he leaves, mad as hell, but the librarian friend catches up with him and explains why Kyoko is so upset (and I love that it doesn't automatically makes it OK, he has to calm down a bit, and he finds out about the dream catcher).
So next day, she is in her apartment and the phone rings and IT'S HIM.
Because the friend gave him her home number. And she is so happy and she asks hy he called and he quips 'to continue to fight from yesterday' and then says it's because the day is nice and he rented a van and they should go for a drive. And she grins into the phone that she'll be there in ten minutes and he grins back that it should take longer as she should dress up because it's a date. DIES.
And she goes out, and she sticks the dreamcatcher on the back of her chair. But the road is closed for construction and in trying to go a different way, she gets stuck, and there is no way for them to contact each other because they don't have each other's phone number.
I was whimpering at this point. It's little things but I got so involved with the characters! And it intercuts with her anxiously checking the time and trying to attact someone's attention so they would help her andhis freaking out and he runs around everywhere looking for her and can't find her and then he finally gives up and as he is about to pull away in the car, defeated, he sees her coming.
EEEEEEE!
And she tells him she is so late because of make-up as it's a date but he points out she is cold. And she says she had to take an alternate route. And then he says she should give him her cell phone number and there in an adorable scene where they exchange cell phone numbers and he calls her with her being right there :D
And it's happy and wonderful, but then we get the voice-over of doom. That he can't forget her phone number. Even though she isn't there.
They are doomed, aren't they? I am going to have a blotched swollen from crying face by the end of this? Right?
Gosh, this is AMAZING.