Professor Procrastination
As a part time professor, I got to get my covid vaccine yesterday, in the lowest level of an outdoor parking structure on a Cal State University campus.
It was supposed to be a drive through test, so I made sure to wear my ugliest, most colorful, most nonsensical clothes. I couldn't even button up my jeans. I pulled an extra long shirt over the buttons and was wearing this insane pink sweater that came off the shoulder because I was anticipating just rolling down my window.
And of course, of course I had to get out of my car, and walk in zig zags across the parking lot, in the freezing cold, trying to hold up my jeans. Of course!
The youngest cutest soldiers were administering the vaccines. Mine was name Ralph. When I finally got up to the sign in area, he threw a bunch of candy on the floor by his foot.
"hey you dropped your candy" i said.
"I know, it's just that they wont let us have anything on the table."
Ralph was covered wrist to ear in tattoos. But the first thing he said to me was that he was cold too. He suggested, we jog together to the next table to stay warm.
At the next table, another tattooed baby stabbed me in the arm. Immediately I could taste the vaccine in my mouth. It tasted exactly like cocaine at 4am. I wanted a vodka yerba mate to wash it down.
The next section was filled with people who'd just been vaccinated. Everyone was sitting there staring at their phones. We were supposed to wait 20 minutes. I sat down and looked around trying to see if there was anyone else swallowing their spit and remembering dive bars in the lower east side, but nothing. I was tired of looking like a clown so I drove straight home feeling like a bran new liberated person.
It was supposed to be a drive through test, so I made sure to wear my ugliest, most colorful, most nonsensical clothes. I couldn't even button up my jeans. I pulled an extra long shirt over the buttons and was wearing this insane pink sweater that came off the shoulder because I was anticipating just rolling down my window.
And of course, of course I had to get out of my car, and walk in zig zags across the parking lot, in the freezing cold, trying to hold up my jeans. Of course!
The youngest cutest soldiers were administering the vaccines. Mine was name Ralph. When I finally got up to the sign in area, he threw a bunch of candy on the floor by his foot.
"hey you dropped your candy" i said.
"I know, it's just that they wont let us have anything on the table."
Ralph was covered wrist to ear in tattoos. But the first thing he said to me was that he was cold too. He suggested, we jog together to the next table to stay warm.
At the next table, another tattooed baby stabbed me in the arm. Immediately I could taste the vaccine in my mouth. It tasted exactly like cocaine at 4am. I wanted a vodka yerba mate to wash it down.
The next section was filled with people who'd just been vaccinated. Everyone was sitting there staring at their phones. We were supposed to wait 20 minutes. I sat down and looked around trying to see if there was anyone else swallowing their spit and remembering dive bars in the lower east side, but nothing. I was tired of looking like a clown so I drove straight home feeling like a bran new liberated person.